FORD FOCUS F1 TEAM STATEMENT

ROUND 1: Melbourne (which is in Australia)

We announce today we are hardly surprised to not be in the top 10 for this Grand Prix, as that is what we are well used to by now.

As usual, we were well beaten by Jens, and we were also led home by TART. However, 12th place represents a decent start.

Turns out, as per usual, we chose the wrong engine, believing Williams to be best of the rest, but sure enough, Ferrari lived up to the hype - every single time we go for a hyped team, they crash and burn.

However, we breathe an unbelievable sigh of relief as after much agonising, we dumped the McLaren-Honda engine. This decision has saved our season, though we're sure since we dumped them, this obviously means they will transform into the second best team before long!

We learned from previous seasons where we believed the sayings "fortune favours the brave" and "he who dares wins". We spent our first 2 seasons in the sport daring - and lost every time. So we went with the flow for 2015 and signed up bargain bin driver Kimi Raikkonen. At least we can reap some benefit of Ferrari's good form, except surprise surprise, he retired near the end, meaning a grand total of 0 pts from our lead driver.

Also, poor N.Jones Jr must be sad to see Kimi and Ferrari go well now, having persevered with them last year.

As for our 2nd driver, Roberto Merhi/whoever's in that seat, he didn't even take part, so a fat 0 there too - great start from our drivers!

At least we kept the Mercedes chassis - only a fool would get rid of that right now.

We are dismayed to get our 2nd driver choice wrong as we could have chosen Nasr. Those who had the foresight to take a Sauber driver look to be well rewarded with at least semi-regular points this year.

All in all, no title this year, but we are hoping to capitalise on our bonus GP in Spain, since no-one else seems to have chosen it, we hope to be unchallenged for an easy victory! Or at least, our first step onto the podium - We can't wait!