Jag,

How dare you interject common sense into something such as this. As a fellow state resident, I'm calling for the immediate confiscation of all metal knives until we get this sorted out. I feel unsafe at the buffet.

I'm also going to make a pre-emptive call to ban all chopsticks. I eat a lot of sushi and I don't want some crazy person poking me in the eye because they used too much wasabi.

Anyone without a right leaning attitude should be behind this.

Signed,

Liberal and Scared of My Shadow