Now then. Mice. (bends down to gently wipe drool from cat's whiskers with Babywipe. "Come on Dipstick, in your basket, that's a lovely boy")
No not the "wee, sleekit, cowrin, timrous beastie" made famous by Scottish Bard "Rabbie" Burns in his poem "Ahm aff mah heed agin"
I refer instead to the rolling, clicking, fluff collecting computer mouse so beloved of the four-eyed, pasty-faced geek and Arsenal soccer stars.
In short I'm sick of having to clean out bits of fluffy gunk from the innards of my little ball driven beauty in order to stop it skipping and at times seizing up altogether
Any hints or tips on what I should go for or conversely avoid like the plague chaps and chapperinettas?
Those laser ones look jolly nice don't they . Bit pricey though
No pink ones please ladies. (squares shoulders, shaves hands and buries face in copy of "How To Suspend Heavy Weights From Your Genitalia Without Tears")
All help and advice will be greatly appreciated......no five pounds though I'm afraid. No bonus this month you see
(leaps out of chair to get ready for work and steps on head of cat killing it instantly)