Joke Time

[Easy Drifter]

An old farmer stood puzzled at the General Store. He was a tight on money and had to choose between a cow and a bicycle. He thought and thought.
He knew he would look pretty silly riding a cow.
But he thought he would look even sillier trying to milk a bicycle!

[Easy Drifter]

Meanwhile back at the ranch Tonto not knowing the Lone Ranger was disguised as a cow milked him.

[Easy Drifter]

Two vampires walk into a bar.
'What can I get ya?' asks the bartender.
The first vampire says' I will have a plasma and my friend will have a diet plasma.'
The bartender looks at them and says ' Let me get this straight. You want a blood and a blood lite?'

[555-04Q2]

Man says to prostitute, "sorry, but you're not my type. You're not inflatable".

[Easy Drifter]

Meanwhile back at the ranch The Lone Ranger not knowing Tonto was disguised as an elevator went down on him.

[chuck34]

I saw this on someone's sig on another forum.

Due to fiscal constraints and envrionmental considerations ... the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

[Easy Drifter]

Meanwhile back at the ranch Tonto not knowing The Lone Ranger was disguised as a bugle blew him.

[Camelopard]

'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.
'Is it common?'
"It's not unusual."

[markabilly]

It is March 2 somewhere so:
This one is for Markabilly:

I am really sore this week. I have marks all over my body where women have hit me with 10 foot poles.

.

You think you are sore??
How do you think I feel (or part of me anyway)??

How do you know you are a redneck? you got a home that is mobile and ten cars that ain't

[markabilly]

Mwanwhile back at the ranch the Lone Ranger not knowing Tonto was disguised as a door shot his knob off.

Reminds me of the time I was forced to stop close to San Fransico, at a bar and ran into this Canadian who started bragging how tough he was....well I pulled out my colt 45 semi-auto, and told him, "I am soo tough I could take this .45 and shoot my finger off and never blink an eye."

Well that Canuck popped off, and said, "well see these two fingers, you can take that 45 and shoot them off and I won't blink and I won't cry"

So as we stood there in a big time stare down, this typical callifornia type from frisco, walks up, zips down his pants and pulls his knob out and lays it out on the bar. But he just stands there. Finally the tough Cannuck says, "well do you want us to shoot it off?"

The californian politely says with a smile, "No, just pet it, it will shoot itself off..."