Little Lambikins

[Azumanga Davo]

I am disgusted at the lack of mint sauce present in this thread. Hopefully an admin can rectify in due course?

[oily oaf]

Present for a birth? PRESENT FOR A BIRTH?? NEVER!

Behave yerself Hazell. Don't you think I went through enough trauma at the conception?

Actually that's not strictly true as I shall now monotonously relate

At Mrs Oafs last confinement I was asked by the midwife, a fearsome looking cove, stern of disposition and lardy of ar$e, if I should care to witness my latest sprog making it's society debut.
Now being an old fashioned geezer who is firmly of the opinion that childbirth, not unlike ironing, is "woman's work" (various missiles ricochet off tin hat) I politely declined her well meaning offer and ensconced myself in the lounge with my old pal Jim Beam and a packet of gaspers

10 fags and 7 or 8 doubles later the midwife summoned me to the boudoir to view my latest creation.
I was greeted my friends by a somewhat unsavoury looking object, smeared with some kind of hideous gunk and bearing a marked resemblance to an undernourished gibbon.
"Congratulations" gushed the matronly lummox.
"For what" thought I.

Anyway while these pleasantries were being exchanged Mrs Oaf suddenly started puffing and blowing like an asthmatic steam roller and generally flapping her gums in a most vociferous and I thought thoroughly unecessary manner

"Dont worry Mr Oaf" said our heroine "it's just the afterbirth"

Unable to stop myself I glanced down to the "Jack and Danny" area and saw a small pair of feet emerging.
"Blimey!" I remarked "I didn't know it 'ad feet!" (Absolutely true that)

To cut a long story short 10 minutes later my little girl, our first after 3 boys emerged spluttering and mewling into the world.

She was a breech birth and had the cord wrapped round her neck which I am told is none too clever in these affairs but thanks to the skill and dedication of the midwife I was duly presented with an undiagnosed twin and the most precious gift I have ever received

(Thanks Mrs Thomas. I owe yer one love and no error)

[Donney]

I have been present in the birth of the puppies of my two little dogs and it is frankly amazing.

[CarlMetro]

So far the birth of one son, several puppies, kittens and a calf.

Like Studiose I too have see the slaughter of a pig the old fashioned way, as part of a religious feast ritual performed by my family on a fairly regular basis. They would buy a pig from a local farmer three days before the feast, so we as kids would see it running around in a pen outside. The next thing we would see would be a pig being cooked on a spit outside and the one in the pen strangley missing. Then one year my Dad said it was time for me to see what went on in between. It's something which I will never ever forget.

[LotusElise]

I've seen a sheep giving birth too. Lambs are sweet and everything, but they don't half make a mess!

[Eki]

So far the birth of one son, several puppies, kittens and a calf.

CalfMetro?

[oldhippie]

ive not seen a birth but i saw the dog i hit with my car die