ITV Play goes off the air!

*INCOMING RANT*

Appologies since this is strictly old news, but it hasn't come to my attention till now.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/ukfs_news/...00/6420885.stm

Does anyone actually call up this so called channel? Or any of the others for that matter? When I bought a digibox, in anticipation of all those lovely shiny new channels, as touted by the adverts was a thing of wonder, how angry can you imagine I was when I found out that at least half the channels on offer were filled with this, the lowest form of w*n*y arse imaginable. My anger was further added to when I discovered that after a certain time of night, ITV changed over to ITV play.

Now I think that there is something quite ethically dubious about the whole business. They might have say, a wordsearch, where you need to identify several words, then if you feel lucky, call up on a premium rate line (normally 75p/call) and give your answer, and if you win, you get £500, easy you may think? Well it turns out that even though the presenter in the studio is filling time, and giving the impression that no one is calling, they might even put a countdown clock on the screen to drum up more calls, and still if you called in, your call wouldn't be taken by the presenter, and you have still spent your 75p, and been glad you had value for money!

The accountants project that ITV play will make £20m this year. And no wonder!

I find it depressing that so many people are stupid enough to think that they might win something. And I thought that the National Lottery was a voulantary tax on stupidity!

The most irksome thing though is that the quantity of stupid people who keep the likes of ITV play going are cluttering up the TV bandwidth, and preventing me from being provided with the programmes I actually want to watch, rather than this low rent, populist drivel for the brain dead.

Apparently there are checks and balances in place to limit any one person's number of calls down to a mere 200/day, in the hope of saving the stupid from themselves, and preventing them from becoming adicted. The mind boggles!

George Orwell wrote in 1984 that "If there is any hope, then it lies with the proles." From what I have seen, then there is NO hope for society!

Channel 5 have also suspended all their interactive progamming following news that Endemol (them again) have been faking winners' details (story)

I've no problem with quiz programmes IF they're straight and people know the odds and therefore the risks, but it's becoming increasingly clear that many of them are as bent as a nine-bob note.

Michael Grade's speech yesterday seemed to offer no hope that ITV would be permanantly canning its quizzes anytime soon, they're an integral part of their businessplan. I just hope that these scandals are enough to make the public wise up and boycott them, but sadly I fear that won't be the case.

Good evening and welcome to "Spot The Braincell" thirty minutes of cheerful ritual humiliation of the old and greedy.

John Cleese: Good evening madame and your name is?

Mrs Scum: Yes Michael

JC: Jolly good Hahahahaha and what is your name?

MS: I go to church regular

JC Yes I see hahahahahaha and what prize do you have your eye on tonight Mrs Scum?

MS: I don't like darkies

JC Hahahahaha She doesn't like darkies Hahahahahaha.............WHO DOES?!

Talk about life imitating art eh folks ;)

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Originally Posted by oily oaf

Talk about life imitating art eh folks ;)

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I must admit I've been waiting for the day when Ant & Dec present "Celebrity **** an Ape" on ITV1... :dozey:

However when the rabid capitalist part of my brain kicks in, it secretly envies those who thought up this business opportunity, as exploiting those who literally have more cash than sense has always been an ambition of mine, because if you really are that obtuse, then you deserve to be exploited by those smarter than you.

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Originally Posted by Dave Brockman

I must admit I've been waiting for the day when Ant & Dec present "Celebrity **** an Ape" on ITV1... :dozey:

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It's already been done mate.
Surely you remember that Channel 4 "fly on the wall" docu drama "At Home With The Commentators" when hidden cameras were concealed in Richard Keys' bedroom and he was caught going at it hammer and tongs with Dame Judy Dench :(

I wouldn't have minded but when he got to the laughing stroke he started bawling out "It's in there!" and "What a shot!"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6431063.stm

Hopefully it means the days of phone in quizzes are numbered!

It would be good if OFCOM went through with it's proposal so that sections of programmes featuring phone in quizes were treated as advertising, and thus subject to the usual restrictions of number of minutes per hour.

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Originally Posted by J4MIE

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6431063.stm

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They should have cut me off, they should have cut me off straight away. Instead of letting me run up this phone bill so high they should have cut me straight off.

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:laugh: Yes, that's right, blame somebody else :dozey:

Having said that there is a good point here, if your phone bill is usually £20 and all of a sudden it's gone up to several thousand in a matter of days the phone company should at least contact you to make sure you know of the situation. After all it's not in their own interests to give someone a £9,000 bill they cannot pay.

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Originally Posted by Kneeslider

Does anyone actually call up this so called channel?

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Each day it makes £200,000 in revenue.
At £1 per call, (and taking into account that of that £1, 15p goes to the Government as VAT, and the phone company takes around 25p) that means there must be an average of 14,000 calls per hour.

Yes, but do you actually know anyone who has (or will admit to having!) called in? Is it a bit like voting conservative? :p :

The day before yesterday I was drawn in by a particulary lurid episode of The Jeremy Kyle show. I feel dirty.

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Originally Posted by Kneeslider

Yes, but do you actually know anyone who has (or will admit to having!) called in? Is it a bit like voting conservative? :p :

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No...
(but I do know people who admit to voting conservative)

ITV Play took over the slot used by Men & Motors, I wasn't happy. Doubt they'll put it back though.

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Originally Posted by AndyRAC

ITV Play took over the slot used by Men & Motors, I wasn't happy. Doubt they'll put it back though.

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I agree. M&M had good WRC coverage with previews, shakedown coverage and all stages just like Channel 4 had.

Of course, if you don't believe these halfwitted people who ring up deserve to lose huge amounts of money, this clip might change your mind:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xE9yYgxjbBo

You see, ITV Play and its ilk are not so much a money-making genre, more a form of Care in the Community...

A good example of the crapulence of ITVplay and their ilk was illustrated by the piece on the BBC News Magazine pages today.

A question on ITV Play went like this:- To win £30,000.

Add the pence!

Two Pounds, 25p, £1.47, 16p, fifty Pence.

Simple you may think, but the 'correct answer according to ITV Play is 506, but they refuse to give any explanation!

Harumph!

I think we might be about to see the end of ITV Play once and for all.

Edit: The digital channel is being scrapped, but the overnight crapfest on ITV1 will continue for the forseeable future.

Still, it's a start :)

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Originally Posted by AndyRAC

ITV Play took over the slot used by Men & Motors, I wasn't happy. Doubt they'll put it back though.

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ITV2+1 will replace Play on Freeview. Sorry. Repeats of repeats of things you didn't want to watch in the first place.

ITV Play being scrapped is the best news i've hears for ages.

I was outraged when they replaced M&M with a quiz channel, just so ITV could make more money. Hopefully ITV2+1 is just a holding channel before they create ITV Sport again. :D

ITV Sport would be awesome - but how about just ITV Motorsport? F1, BTCC, WRC, BSB and they could pick up the rights to WSBK and WTCC...am I dreaming a bit... :eek:

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Originally Posted by Dave Brockman

ITV2+1 will replace Play on Freeview. Sorry. Repeats of repeats of things you didn't want to watch in the first place.

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Heartbreaking, isn't it?

They have hundreds of hours of old races, football matches, comedy shows and even Coronation Street from day one, yet they simply stick on a repeat of earlier shows that only about twenty people watched anyhow :mark:

Even Play's games were better than that - at least we could laugh at the people calling to say "A film title with an animal in it" could be Black Beauty and "A film title with a day of the week in it" could be Independance Day :laugh:

By the way, I don't believe anything like 14k calls an hour. More like 20ish per minute (they used to say at the bottom of the screen I'm told) and the other revenue was from advertising, etc.

I've heard a similar figure to tintin's on MediaGuardian, but I can't find the link right now.

I do believe it, sadly. There are plenty of stupid people willing to phone in repeatedly, and plenty more with addictive personalities who don't know any better. :s

But don't they put the number of players in the past minute or two at the bottom of the screen, so you know (for example) that 28 people were daft enough to try their luck for each call answered?

I did see it once myself, but can't remember which channel it was. I simply cannot believe there's 14,000 calls an hour - we're not that stupid a nation are we? :crazy:

Just remembered I read on teletext that ITV Play lost money overall anyway, according to an ITV spokesperson.

So it's a pointless argument anyway :p :

The dedicated channel struggled because of carriage costs; but overall it's making a mint. Or a glitterball, I forget which.

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Originally Posted by Kneeslider

A good example of the crapulence of ITVplay and their ilk was illustrated by the piece on the BBC News Magazine pages today.

A question on ITV Play went like this:- To win £30,000.

Add the pence!

Two Pounds, 25p, £1.47, 16p, fifty Pence.

Simple you may think, but the 'correct answer according to ITV Play is 506, but they refuse to give any explanation!

Harumph!

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Well, the good folk at The Times are just as confused as you, as this story on Media Guardian shows:

The sorry state of phone-ins


Wednesday March 14, 2007
MediaGuardian.co.uk


Number crunch

It has baffled boffins at Mensa as well as lateral-thinking pioneer Edward de Bono, but ITV today claimed there was a legitimate way of getting the answer to a mind-boggling quiz it set on the premium-rate phone-in show Make Your Play. The Times reported this morning that it was finding it tough to get anyone to reach the answer of 506 in the quiz headed Add the Pence, which listed "Two pounds, 25p, £1.47, 16p, Fifty pence" as its options. A Bletchley Park cryptanalyst finally came up with a way of reaching 506 but ITV said it was wrong. Monkey was today taken through the puzzle, but not being a maths enthusiast is not really any the wiser. But for all you puzzle fiends out there, here is the answer, apparently. Two pounds = 200p, count the letter p on its own as well plus the portion of the phrase that alludes to 2p, and that makes 203p. Then you add 25p plus the 5p separately and the singular p which makes 31p. Then add £1.47 and the singular p, making £1.48; 16p plus the separate 6p and the singular p makes 23p. Then Fifty pence is taken as 50p plus 50p plus the single p. And all of this makes 506. Allegedly. Monkey only asks that you hassle ITV and not MediaGuardian if you don't get it either.



:confused:

I heard that ITV Play will still broadcast at weekends, in the wee small hours. I think they should ditch all these stupid quizzes.

"Now for the big prize, just answer this question: What are Jensen Button's initials?" "Hello is it 1974?" "Yeah, you've won, you're the nearest!"

Remember the good old days when it was "Answers on a postcard please!"

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Originally Posted by Dave Brockman

I think we might be about to see the end of ITV Play once and for all.

Edit: The digital channel is being scrapped, but the overnight crapfest on ITV1 will continue for the forseeable future.

Still, it's a start :)

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That came on the TV last night as I was going to bed. I only paid attention because I heard a bloke calling to solve one of those word puzzles say "well as I like sex, I think the answer is 'sacs' ". :rotflmao:

I do wish that programme would be dropped as well though. They used to show some decent stuff at night, including the legendary Weir's Way.

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Originally Posted by ATF

ITV Sport would be awesome - but how about just ITV Motorsport? F1, BTCC, WRC, BSB and they could pick up the rights to WSBK and WTCC...am I dreaming a bit... :eek:

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that will be sweat itv sport channel again

also, no more itv play, yeeeeeeeees

:rolleyes: :bandit: Hang on, you haven't heard the best bit yet. Blue Peter presenters were forced to apologise becasue one of the phone-in competitions had been rigged. Well, I never, fancy corrupting all those little kiddies. Dear oh dear, whatever next.

[quote="George Orwell wrote in 1984 that "If there is any hope, then it lies with the proles." From what I have seen, then there is NO hope for society![/quote"]

Hang on, you missed the best bit.

"The Lottery, with its weekly payout of enormous prizes, was the one public event to which the proles paid serious attention. It was probable that there were some millions of proles for whom the lottery was the principal, if not the only reason for remaining alive. It was their delight, their intellectual stimulant.Where the Lottery was concerned, even people who could barely read and write seemed capable of intricate calculations and staggering feats of memory. Winston had nothing to do with the running of the Lottery but he was aware that the prizes were largely imaginary. Only small sums were actually paid out, the winners of the big prizes being non-existent persons."

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Originally Posted by ATF

ITV Sport would be awesome - but how about just ITV Motorsport? F1, BTCC, WRC, BSB

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...sounds a bit like ITV4 to me.

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Originally Posted by Iain

They used to show some decent stuff at night, including the legendary Weir's Way.

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Anyone remember The Haunted Fishtank? A sort of after-dark TV Burp, but with more of a pretence to reviewing telly, presented by Ed Hall. Brilliant late-night ITV stuff from the late '90s, sadly cancelled shortly after I discovered it (the old reverse midas touch; see also Channel 4's late-night computer game show Bits).

Talking of reverse midas touch, how come no one's investigating all of Mark Radcliffe's old quizzes? I'm sure the contestants on Oh Lucky You and Beat The Clock, among others, weren't selected randomly... ;)

why is it that in sky there are loads of channel that are +1. like e4, uk gold, paramount etc etc. How come bbc1, bbc2, itv1 and channel 4 arent included. these are the channels people mainly watch so it would make sense....surely?

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Originally Posted by tony_yeboah

why is it that in sky there are loads of channel that are +1. like e4, uk gold, paramount etc etc. How come bbc1, bbc2, itv1 and channel 4 arent included. these are the channels people mainly watch so it would make sense....surely?

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Because these channels all show news - and news has to be live.

Plans now seem to be being made to make ITVPlay's old slot into an ITV movie channel in the future.

Sounds good, but I'm not holding out much hope for quality films being shown :mark:

Who wants to watch films on ITV? They're almost always cut to ribbons, and there's adverts every 20 minutes to ruin the mood.

DVDs are so dirt cheap to buy or rent these days, and digital offers film on-demand or near-on-demand without adverts.

Post of the week, by the way, on the Guardian's comment pages:

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Tell you what - what a classic demonstration of the contrasts in approach to public service broadcasting right at this minute: Comic Relief on BBC1 raising 38 million pounds for charity, whilst on ITV1, Make Your Play.

Posted by williamt on March 17, 2007 01:50 AM.

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So true.