Men and the Mid Life Crisis

What is it with all you men and your mid life crisis?

About three weeks ago a 45 year old single friend called me (in the middle of the night, as only single people do :mark: ) and we got chatting about cars. I didn't know what he drove, I only ever see the vehicle he uses for work, and stupidly guessed at it being a navy blue Mondeo or Vectra. He was annoyed as I made him sound boring and middle aged .....

Two nights later a text arrived. My guess had been too close to the truth (he had a black Vectra) so he'd bought a BMW Z4. That night I slept with my head in my hands wondering what I'd started :rolleyes:

A few days ago I watched him eat his lunch. Not the normal junk, he'd converted to fruit juice and salad. His usual ill-fitting jeans, tatty trainers, V neck sweater and tshirt had transformed into perfectly fitted jeans, quality shoes and a nice shirt. I never knew he had such a fine ass :p :

Bless him, he's hit his mid life crisis face on. Sadly the car means he'll probably never feel a woman's touch again, but at least he's tried .......

On tuesday Neil Morissey (sp?) of Men Behaving Badly fame will be having a polo lesson at a club local to me. Another crisis in it's infancy.


Men of the forum, I beg you not to do this to yourselves.
45 is not 25.
You have been warned :)

If he's got the Z4 and is dressing as The Town Dude now, he may not feel a woman's touch, but it sounds like what he's seeking is a girl's touch. ;)

I'm about this guy's age. And when I go out on a (purely) fun date, I don't want to hear about biological clocks, ex-husbands, rug rats, medical problems or anything else. So for pure fun & games, yeah, I tend to go out with girls who are often a fair amount younger than me. As long as I don't have to drop them off at school in the morning, I figure they're old enough. :p I'm not looking for a wife and they're not looking for a husband - so until it gets weird, we're on the same page.

As for cars, I have the same taste in cars now that I had when I was in my 20's... the only difference is, I can afford more of them now. And I learned a loooong time ago, a hot car will attract a hot girl. It's like an ice breaker with wheels.

It is not a mid-life crisis. That is just a term used by woman who hate the fact that a man has finally reached the financial level where he can indulge in what he always wanted.....and it is not her.

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Originally Posted by anthonyvop

It is not a mid-life crisis. That is just a term used by woman who hate the fact that a man has finally reached the financial level where he can indulge in what he always wanted.....and it is not her.

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Pretty close to what I was going to say. Much of what is described as mid life crisis is nothing more than finally getting your finances down to where you can afford that car, boat, motorcycle, ultralite aircraft, or whatever.

I think mid life crisis is nothing more than women angry because by and large we don't care about our gray hair, wrinkles, fat and other signs of aging. Although we may be getting older, we are still attracted by the things we were when we were young. Just look at women's magazine covers "Lose ten pounds in ten days!" "6 ways to make those wrinkles disappear forever!" "11 ways to drive him wild in bed!" "Is he cheating? the 5 signs that say he is!" blah blah blah. You don't see that crap in men's magazines because we don't care. We do care about the top ten sportscars, cordless tools, and napping on the sofa instead of mowing the yard.

Heres 4 ways to drve him wild in bed without having to buy a magazine:

You do all the "work" for a change.

When finished, go make him a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich on toast.

Give him the remote and the sandwich.

Shut up.

There you go, a night he'll appreciate and remember.

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Originally Posted by Hazell B

My guess had been too close to the truth (he had a black Vectra) so he'd bought a BMW Z4. That night I slept with my head in my hands wondering what I'd started :rolleyes:

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That's definately a midlifecrisismobile. Likewise a former colleague of mine who the moment he hit 40 chopped in his reliable sensible car for an Audi TT (and also his reliable sensible missus for a 19 year old, but that's another story).

Meanwhile, some of us may have just bought a people carrier... :uhoh:

Maybe its your fault, you make him think he's boring so he has to do those things because he lost his self esteem. He might need better friends. Well if he can afford to change lifestyle, good for him.

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Originally Posted by Fiero 5.7

Just look at women's magazine covers "Lose ten pounds in ten days!" "6 ways to make those wrinkles disappear forever!" "11 ways to drive him wild in bed!" "Is he cheating? the 5 signs that say he is!" blah blah blah. You don't see that crap in men's magazines because we don't care.

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More than that, some of us (me ;) ) don't even read men's magazines just because we don't need to. We know it all.

I hope I can get to a point in my career where I can afford a mid-life crisis. :D

Me too, although I'd rather go through it on a Porsche 911 :D

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Originally Posted by Dave Brockman

Likewise a former colleague of mine who the moment he hit 40 chopped in his reliable sensible car for an Audi TT (and also his reliable sensible missus for a 19 year old, but that's another story).

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Sounds pretty reasonable to me..., though I'd go for a Porsche/Aston.

She hasn't got a twin sister has she...??? ;)

Sometimes, it's nothing more than people not being familiar with your history. I've owned and ridden motorcyles constantly since I was 14. My first car at age 16 was a Sunbeam Alpine III and due to not having to haul children around, I'd always had a sports or performance car until 2006 when I got the pickup truck. But I know the look. I'd be out in the Corvette or even now be out on the Harley and get those "Ahhhh look...his second childhood looks" or even "mid-life crisis" comments. Nah, just doing what I've always done. You weren't there to see it, thats all.

I think many of those middle aged men driving Ferrari's or whatever would have loved to have done that in their 20's but just couldn't afford it! So when you've got the money, why not!

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Originally Posted by Dave Brockman

Likewise a former colleague of mine who the moment he hit 40 chopped in his reliable sensible car for an Audi TT (and also his reliable sensible missus for a 19 year old, but that's another story).

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Ah, but is he happy? :p :

The 19 year old will see he's no match for her and leave him, then the car will rust.
He'll keep in touch with the ex until she forgets him for the new man she's found ... and he'll be alone or stuck with a chubby woman his own age that he ends up hating ;)

I've never seen a genuine mid life crisis with a happy ending.

I know all about it. Less than a month after turning 40 I was driving a red sports car.
That was over 10 years ago, and I still drive a red sports car, because I can. I only wish I could've afforded a nice car when I was younger. I am not, however, chasing the ladies.

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Originally Posted by Hazell B

Ah, but is he happy? :p :

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I bet he is

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Originally Posted by Hazell B

The 19 year old will see he's no match for her and leave him, then the car will rust.
He'll keep in touch with the ex until she forgets him for the new man she's found

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So what? he will get another 19 year old and trade his rust bucket for another sports car.

Hazell. Don't hate the player....hate the game.

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Originally Posted by Hazell B

I've never seen a genuine mid life crisis with a happy ending.

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Ohhhhhhh......I have...........It is not about the destination but how you get there.

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Originally Posted by Hazell B

Ah, but is he happy? :p :

The 19 year old will see he's no match for her and leave him, then the car will rust.
He'll keep in touch with the ex until she forgets him for the new man she's found ... and he'll be alone or stuck with a chubby woman his own age that he ends up hating ;)

I've never seen a genuine mid life crisis with a happy ending.

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I think of a genuine mid life crisis as one where the person (male or female) tries to transform himself or herself into something that they are not... and have never been.

If it's a guy, and he's never known the difference between a sports car and a GT car, but he rushes out and buys one or the other when he notices his hair thinning... yeah, that might be a sign of a mid life crisis. If a guy dumps his wife of 20 years, gets plastic surgery, hires a trainer, buys a Rolex, moves into a bachelor pad and starts hanging out with people half his age ALL the time... that probably is a sign of a mid life crisis.

But just because a guy starts cleaning up, wearing nicer clothes and buys a well made sports car, I wouldn't necessarily see that as an indicator that he's in the midst of a mid life crisis.

On another board I'm on, there's a couple who are May/December. He's in his mid/late 40's and she's in her late 20's. He's divorced and this is her first marriage. They've been together for about 10 years - so she must have been in her late teens when they met. Now, they are a little "different", but their relationship seems to work for them.

From personal experience, most really young girls (tweenagers: late teens to early 20's) who go after or get with guys twice their age are usually gold diggers (to some extent). And some middle age and older guys don't mind playing the part of a sugar daddy. As long as both parties know the deal, I figure that's their business. It's when one party doesn't understand the deal that feelings get hurt and things get weird. Young girls who expect to get gifts and trips, but then don't get them... can get very weird. And I guess an older guy who assumes that one of these girls would love him even if he was dirt poor, when he finds out that isn't true, I guess he gets weird too.

I just think hat there are some people you date (strictly) for fun (whatever their age), and there are some that are more serious (whatever their age). I don't see that age necessarily has much to do with either one. And whether it's a car or the choice of clothes, the main thing is that a person be genuine. If someone saw me driving a 4 door Buick (Mondeo or Vectra to you guys in the UK), they'd probably think I'd been given a notice of impending death by my doctor.

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Originally Posted by edv

I know all about it. Less than a month after turning 40 I was driving a red sports car.
That was over 10 years ago, and I still drive a red sports car, because I can. I only wish I could've afforded a nice car when I was younger. I am not, however, chasing the ladies.

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Go ahead and tell the truth! They chase you, don't they? :D

Other than a friendly, cute dog, there's just not a better ice breaker available. :s mokin:

In terms of having a midlife crisis I think a radical change of clothing is my biggest issue. Well that or people wearing clothing that are much too young for them. I'm not too botherer with radical car purchases.

My dad isn't having a midlife crisis at 60 but there was a point when we were on the McLaren stand at last years British GP when I had to put my foot down and say your not buying that! A slightly overweight 60 year old should not be wanting to purchase a luminous orange Lewis Hamilton skinny fit TShirt. It's just wrong. :s

I'm 45 and I'm still waiting for mine.

If I need to buy an expensive sports car to have a midlife crisis then I better start saving and start mine in ten years time.

Any rich members out there want to contribute to my midlife crisis fund? :D

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Originally Posted by Hazell B

I've never seen a genuine mid life crisis with a happy ending.

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Living with a 19 year old, I suspect he's had quite a few happy endings! :p :

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Originally Posted by GridGirl

My dad isn't having a midlife crisis at 60 but there was a point when we were on the McLaren stand at last years British GP when I had to put my foot down and say your not buying that! A slightly overweight 60 year old should not be wanting to purchase a luminous orange Lewis Hamilton skinny fit TShirt. It's just wrong. :s

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Doesn't seem to concern Martin Whitmarsh :p

Convertibles and men don't go together. Not in the UK anyway.

Get a proper car and get over your mid-life crisis!!!

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Originally Posted by Jag_Warrior

I think of a genuine mid life crisis as one where the person (male or female) tries to transform himself or herself into something that they are not... and have never been.

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That's what I'd say too.
I also think we Brits handle it far less well than Americans. Frankly, half the 45ish year old men I've known who've altered themselves all of a rush look like twits for a while. Most of them return to themselves after a few months, once they work out the wife's their best option after all :p :

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Originally Posted by anthonyvop

It is not a mid-life crisis. That is just a term used by woman who hate the fact that a man has finally reached the financial level where he can indulge in what he always wanted.....and it is not her.

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:laugh:

And he is way beyond the point of caring wtf she says.

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Originally Posted by Hazell B

That's what I'd say too.
I also think we Brits handle it far less well than Americans. Frankly, half the 45ish year old men I've known who've altered themselves all of a rush look like twits for a while. Most of them return to themselves after a few months, once they work out the wife's their best option after all :p :

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I think there should be a law that before anyone can get plastic surgery (that's not related to cancer, a birth defect or an accident) they have to get at least 20 strangers to vote. Only if a majority say that it's OK, can that person get nipped, tucked, stretched, lifted, enlarged or whatever. In a lot of cases, average becomes fugly. I would put up a picture of Joan Rivers or Janice Dickinson, but somebody here might be eating. Ewww!

If they ever get the technology advanced to where silicone and botox are detected by airline screening, at least 75% of the people in California will have to start taking the bus to travel.

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Originally Posted by anthonyvop

It is not a mid-life crisis. That is just a term used by woman who hate the fact that a man has finally reached the financial level where he can indulge in what he always wanted.....and it is not her.

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BINGO!!

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Originally Posted by Dave Brockman

That's definately a midlifecrisismobile. Likewise a former colleague of mine who the moment he hit 40 chopped in his reliable sensible car for an Audi TT (and also his reliable sensible missus for a 19 year old, but that's another story).

... :uhoh:

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Big mistake....get a bimbo for some side action, but keep the missus for reliable housekeeping, dealing with the other household issues and so forth.

Divorces are too expensive and having bimbos on the side who are much easier to trade out when they get boring..use them and lose them....

:up: Remember dudes, the three "Fs" is an excellent rule of thumb for 19 y.o. bimbos on the side :up:

Oi!
I've been that bimbo!
We're not just there to act stupid, you know. We get the good stuff without any of the hassles. Bimbo? No, talented more like :p :

I think men have a mid life crisis that usually involves one last go at chasing women and driving fast cars. THAT I get..even tho after just turning 44 it hasn't really hit me.

What I have NEVER understood is how women can spend a lifetime pruning, preening, worrying, obsessing, dieting, purging, detoxing, beautifying and just plain old fussing over their appearence; and then get mad when a man doesn't care, drinks and eats what he wants for 25 years and ENJOYS life. Who is the dumb one? In the end, the woman in her 40's will look like she would have looked to an extent if she didn't fuss, and would be a lot happier.

Happiness in your 40's usually means you have the money to do what you always wanted to do, and the time to do it. THAT is not a mid-life crisis Hazell, that is fulfilling your dreams. Most men dream like 19 year old guys...lol.

Now if the women could relax and realize all the great things they should enjoy, they wouldn't see it as a bad thing to be in one's 40's and enjoying life.

My lady is starting to get it now....it only took me 9 years to get her to realize she doesn't have to be anything special, she has my love for the right reasons and she should enjoy herself. When she does this, we have the most marvelous time.

I dated a 21 year old beautiful nurse from Louisana when I was 33. It was .....well different. Now I am 44, and live with someone my age, I realize you don't need the younger mate, you just need the right one.

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Originally Posted by Mark in Oshawa

What I have NEVER understood is how women can spend a lifetime pruning, preening, worrying, obsessing, dieting, purging, ........

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No, I don't get that either. Then again I'm lucky in that I stayed thin enough, am happy with the body I got and frankly couldn't give a stuff how scruffy/tidy/scented I am :p :

Mark, you're not really getting the UK's version of a midlife crisis. It's not about finally being able to afford things, it's about men quite literally going off the rails by trying to be something they aren't (and really, really should never be :mark: !). It's not a car they've dreamed of, it's a car they think will make them attractive. It's not about clothes they look good in, it's clothes they think women will like them in. The result is a sorry sight :p :

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Originally Posted by Hazell B

No, I don't get that either. Then again I'm lucky in that I stayed thin enough, am happy with the body I got and frankly couldn't give a stuff how scruffy/tidy/scented I am :p :

Mark, you're not really getting the UK's version of a midlife crisis. It's not about finally being able to afford things, it's about men quite literally going off the rails by trying to be something they aren't (and really, really should never be :mark: !). It's not a car they've dreamed of, it's a car they think will make them attractive. It's not about clothes they look good in, it's clothes they think women will like them in. The result is a sorry sight :p :

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Sorta like women who buy clothes based on the idea they will get the right man? Damn..that can work tho....

I suppose you are right but a lot of women do wacky things when they get desparate. Marry men locked in prison for life; have so much plastic surgery their own mother's wouldn't recognize them; marry men so old they can barely stand up; try on about 14 different anti-depressents until they find one that kills them.

The point I suppose I should have made is both sexes do the dumbest damned things, not just the men in their mid-life crisis. Both sexes try to hang onto their youth and attractiveness to the opposite sex, even if they have been married for 20 years. Women do it all along in one way or another, men save all their stupidity up for a blast of idiocy in their 40's or 50's. Most of us realize how stupid it all us and stop ourselves from doing this before we really start...and then others....well you can all them w a n k ers..

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Originally Posted by Hazell B

Oi!
I've been that bimbo!
We're not just there to act stupid, you know. We get the good stuff without any of the hassles. Bimbo? No, talented more like :p :

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Hazell you are a lot of things, but I would NEVER put you and Bimbo in the same sentence.

Of course, not all men WANT bimbo women, some of us respect and need smart ones around to keep US out of trouble!!!

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Originally Posted by Mark in Oshawa

need smart ones around to keep US out of trouble!!!

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Thank god i have one that keeps me out of trouble!!

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Originally Posted by Hazell B

What is it with all you men and your mid life crisis?

:)

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I wish I was still there. :( :bigcry:

Valve, your faith in that Button bloke keeps you young :p :

I can't recall anything I've done that fits into Hazell's definition of mid-life crisis. I also can't imagine going through all that expense and pain just to run one in a twenty year old whose slang language you don't understand, whose music you probably won't like, and who still pukes when she drinks too much.

Now there are some wild contractions going on when they are tossing their cookies, but thats a story for another time...

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Originally Posted by Fiero 5.7

I can't recall anything I've done that fits into Hazell's definition of mid-life crisis. I also can't imagine going through all that expense and pain just to run one in a twenty year old whose slang language you don't understand, whose music you probably won't like, and who still pukes when she drinks too much....

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That explains why I dropped my 21 year old....or rather we both dropped each other. You dont' have much in common other than you want her bones and she wants your money. I am not rich so that was it for me, and I cant stand most of the music she liked and my bar hopping days were in the past...

I love your reasoning anthonyvop. You have just hit the nail on the head.When a guy gets older ,he earns more and can buy and insure the cars he would have loved to have owned in his teens.Nothing to do with mid life crisis.Never had a problem drawing the girls,they just get nasty and spiteful when you dump them