Your Purpose in Life

I find myself at a sort of cross-roads. After having wasted a number of years on "wine, women and amateur dramatics" (in a manner of speaking), I want to start doing something meaningful in life.

How else to start the quest than struggling with the most basic question - what is my purpose? What pursuit is it that would be meaningful for me?

I don't believe in any God-given or mystical purpose - the purpose I'm looking for is really just a very deep wish that, I'm convinced, lodges itself in some dark corner of my sub-conscious mind. The wish to become - (blank). The question is - how do I get this wish to surface?

Have you been through this yourself? Have you found your purpose in life? Have you any suggestions or advice for me? Any psychological techniques I could try? Is it worthwhile to bark at that tree at all, do you think?

Yes,

http://www.google.ee/search?q=find+y...ient=firefox-a

not a lot of help? Actually, there are quite a few good websites around about finding your purpose and living it.

Just make sure you don't make googling your purpose. ;)

I was lucky, I found my purpose straight out of secondary school - I believe that I'll have a long and happy career as a nurse.

The best (only?) advice I can give is to imagine yourself in various situations and see which is most appealing - i.e., in five years' time, the job you're doing, family, etc...

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Originally Posted by Erki

Yes,

http://www.google.ee/search?q=find+y...ient=firefox-a

not a lot of help? Actually, there are quite a few good websites around about finding your purpose and living it.

Just make sure you don't make googling your purpose. ;)

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Indeed. :) I'm googling that stuff all the time, of course, and there's certainly some good content out there. I have some ideas and a number of techniques I'm trying, including one from that rather good StevePavlina.com site you once pointed me to.

But what I'm looking for here is actual experiences from real people. (You are real, aren't you? :p : ) And some new ideas, since the ones I have are not being particularly productive at the moment.

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Originally Posted by LeonBrooke

I was lucky, I found my purpose straight out of secondary school - I believe that I'll have a long and happy career as a nurse.

The best (only?) advice I can give is to imagine yourself in various situations and see which is most appealing - i.e., in five years' time, the job you're doing, family, etc...

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That's good to hear, Leon. It's certainly a very noble pursuit, and it's not hard to imagine how it can bring deep meaning to a person's life.

Your advice is good, but I'm sorry to say I've been doing that for what seems a very long time without reaching a conclusion. I need a new approach. There's drugs, of course, ("they expand your mind, dude..") but I don't much fancy that. :p : The Native American population is also not particularly great in Northern Estonia, so weird saunas and vision quests are out. :\ So what else is there?

Um... join the fire brigade?? You never know, it might do it for you.

I think we need, most of all, to be needed. That's why Leon derives such satisfaction from nursing; he knows he is needed. When I was a criminal defense lawyer, I knew from the terrified look in my clients' eyes that they needed me. That's what made it worthwhile. Now I am older, it is my children who need me, so fatherhood gives me great satisfaction.

Find a path, therefore, which puts you in a position where other people need you, badly, and you will feel fulfilled.

Good piece of advice there Gannex :)

That's of course very good advice and certainly 100% true but it's IMO still quite vague. There are way too many things other people need. You gotta think about your own needs as well.

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Originally Posted by Erki

There are way too many things other people need. You gotta think about your own needs as well.

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...and that's what makes the world go round :)

Gannex is fortunate to have chosen a profession that creates it's own need.

"If it wasn't for attornies, we wouldn't need attornies."

Most elected lawmakers are....attornies! Go figure.

Can't say I've ever been into all the deep and meaningful self-analysis. I was born, grew up, found a job, formed a relationship, had a child and watched it grow, and will die at some point. Why would anyone need to go any deeper than that?

Then your purpose in life is to produce CO2. :)

My purpose in life is to compete in as many motorsport events as possible per year. 2006 I competed in 24, aiming higher this year and in different countries.

Ray

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Originally Posted by janneppi

Then your purpose in life is to produce CO2. :)

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and methane eh carl ? ;) :p :

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Originally Posted by donKey jote

and methane eh carl ? ;) :p :

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Oh yeah, plenty of that :p :

I don't think there's any specific reason why everyone should do a deeper self-analysis. If one doesn't feel like this then it's all OK by me. :up: But I personally want my life to have some deeper meaning and producing methane just doesn't cut it for me.

my purpose in life is to not have a purpose... why stress out about purposes when you just take life day by day and have fun

I think it has a lot to do with one's interest in live. Pursue your interests as long as they make you happy, but at the same time to be able to make others happy as well. In other words help yourself first in live so you can help others as well.
Whatever that may suggest. :D

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Originally Posted by studiose

I find myself at a sort of cross-roads. After having wasted a number of years on "wine, women and amateur dramatics" (in a manner of speaking), I want to start doing something meaningful in life.

How else to start the quest than struggling with the most basic question - what is my purpose? What pursuit is it that would be meaningful for me?

I don't believe in any God-given or mystical purpose - the purpose I'm looking for is really just a very deep wish that, I'm convinced, lodges itself in some dark corner of my sub-conscious mind. The wish to become - (blank). The question is - how do I get this wish to surface?

Have you been through this yourself? Have you found your purpose in life? Have you any suggestions or advice for me? Any psychological techniques I could try? Is it worthwhile to bark at that tree at all, do you think?

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I have known people who somehow "knew" at a very early age that they would become a physician, an artist, etc. Most people do not have this gift and end up in their careers more by accident than by plan. I can recall hiring a programmer who was a graduate of the Julliard Academy. He turned out to be a good programmer, but nothing in his education had prepared him for that path. Sometimes -- as in his case -- it was necessity that steered him.

Having said that, I believe we should have life plans. Nothing terribly rigid, but something that allows us to focus. I have used and enjoyed the work of Steven Covey. He stated that his goals in life were "to live, to love, and to leave a legacy." Good words, but not very specific.

There are career counselors available. Some are private, and some are associated with schools and universities. If you're not in school, I would go for a private counselor to avoid their having a conflict of interest. There are also a number of useful personality scales and tests. Check out the Jungian variations of the Meyers-Briggs. Many organizations have success with the Wonderlic. Probably the hardest thing to do is make an accurate self-assessment, so I would favor seeking an indepenent counselor.

One last thought. You should enjoy what you do, as well as the people you work with. (Working alone is challenging) One of the most important things in building and maintaining self-esteem is peer recognition. Don't put too much pressure on yourself while you go through this phase. However, to focus upon the product rather than the result, I suggest selecting an end date -- give yourself x months to go through this process and monitor your progress.

Good luck.

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Originally Posted by Erki

I don't think there's any specific reason why everyone should do a deeper self-analysis. If one doesn't feel like this then it's all OK by me. :up: But I personally want my life to have some deeper meaning and producing methane just doesn't cut it for me.

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Yes, that's how I feel as well. People are different. Some can live happy, full lives by just focusing on the moment, doing their job, spending time with their family and friends. Others need a strong underlying purpose to get themselves going.

It really is a need, rather than a wish. I feel not only that a higher purpose would be very empowering for me, but also that the current lack of higher purpose is very dis-powering.

Gannex, you're right of course. But as Erki points out, the difficult bit is choosing one pursuit among the many that fit into this description - the one that would give me most satisfaction. (Which, currently, I can't get no. :p : ) Fly_ac, your advice is good also, but my trouble is that my current interests are all rather trivial things. "Wine, women and amateur dramatics", you know. :p : They amuse me, but don't satisfy. Again, it's a question of personality.

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Originally Posted by agwiii

I have known people who somehow "knew" at a very early age that they would become a physician, an artist, etc. Most people do not have this gift and end up in their careers more by accident than by plan. I can recall hiring a programmer who was a graduate of the Julliard Academy. He turned out to be a good programmer, but nothing in his education had prepared him for that path. Sometimes -- as in his case -- it was necessity that steered him.

Having said that, I believe we should have life plans. Nothing terribly rigid, but something that allows us to focus. I have used and enjoyed the work of Steven Covey. He stated that his goals in life were "to live, to love, and to leave a legacy." Good words, but not very specific.

There are career counselors available. Some are private, and some are associated with schools and universities. If you're not in school, I would go for a private counselor to avoid their having a conflict of interest. There are also a number of useful personality scales and tests. Check out the Jungian variations of the Meyers-Briggs. Many organizations have success with the Wonderlic. Probably the hardest thing to do is make an accurate self-assessment, so I would favor seeking an indepenent counselor.

One last thought. You should enjoy what you do, as well as the people you work with. (Working alone is challenging) One of the most important things in building and maintaining self-esteem is peer recognition. Don't put too much pressure on yourself while you go through this phase. However, to focus upon the product rather than the result, I suggest selecting an end date -- give yourself x months to go through this process and monitor your progress.

Good luck.

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Thank you. :) You know you can be quite sensible at times. ;) :p : I'll certainly look for these Jungian variations of the Meyers-Briggs and the Wonderlic. Psychological tests are fun even when they don't help. :)

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Originally Posted by studiose

Thank you. :) You know you can be quite sensible at times. ;) :p : I'll certainly look for these Jungian variations of the Meyers-Briggs and the Wonderlic. Psychological tests are fun even if they don't help. :)

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studiose, I'm always sensible. The perception, however, depends upon who's ox is being gored! Good luck on your quest -- don't stress too much -- you WILL find an answer.

This is one version of the Meyer-Briggs:

http://www.advisorteam.com/temperame...r.asp?partid=1


:beer:

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Originally Posted by agwiii

studiose, I'm always sensible.

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No, you most certainly are not. ;)

Thanks again. :)

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Originally Posted by studiose

I find myself at a sort of cross-roads. After having wasted a number of years on "wine, women and amateur dramatics" (in a manner of speaking), I want to start doing something meaningful in life.

How else to start the quest than struggling with the most basic question - what is my purpose? What pursuit is it that would be meaningful for me?

I don't believe in any God-given or mystical purpose - the purpose I'm looking for is really just a very deep wish that, I'm convinced, lodges itself in some dark corner of my sub-conscious mind. The wish to become - (blank). The question is - how do I get this wish to surface?

Have you been through this yourself? Have you found your purpose in life? Have you any suggestions or advice for me? Any psychological techniques I could try? Is it worthwhile to bark at that tree at all, do you think?

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I find myself at a sort of cross-roads ... I want to start doing something meaningful in life.
Admirable goal but one wonders why the sudden change ?

... the most basic question - what is my purpose?
What pursuit is it that would be meaningful for me?
Only YOU can answer that question.
What is meaningful to one could be considered folly to another.

... The question is - how do I get this wish to surface?
Be honest with yourself, accept what you can't change & change what you can.

Have you been through this yourself?
Yes

Have you found your purpose in life?
Yes

Have you any suggestions or advice for me?
Don't sweat the petty things & pet the sweaty things. ;)

Any psychological techniques I could try?
Be happy you are.

Is it worthwhile to bark at that tree at all, do you think?
A dog pees on a tree, I think the dog is correct.

--------------------------------------SUMMING THINGS UP--------------------------------------
Don't make a bunch of plans that fate can change without warning.
Be at peace with yourself, accept yourself for being you.
Depend on yourself above anyone else, you are the key to your own happiness.
Don't be hard on yourself, accept past failures & resolve to do better IF possible.
Most of all, love yourself & strive to be happy wherever you are. :D

^ amen
And it sure beats sterotyping oneself in interweb tests and scales.
The value in life is to understand that there is just one of you and what works for you usually isn't good advice for anyone else.

I don't know my purpose in life :( Is this strange? I don't feel that the world would be much different without me and I don't have any particular talent.

I have life ambitions- to be happy ;)

Those interweb-tv-mag tests aren't too useful indeed. I haven't done any of them, though, but there are either too few possible answers or the answers are too vague.

Here and there I've read that journaling can be useful for such things. Again, never tried it, hopefully I'll stop procrastinating tomorrow and stat one but the benefit of this(journal, not procrastination) is quite obviously that you get to put your thoughts somewhere and they hopefully won't be as tangly and you make more sense to yourself. Working with another person is almost unbeatable, two head are after all two heads. ;)

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Originally Posted by Brown, Jon Brow

I don't know my purpose in life :( Is this strange? I don't feel that the world would be much different without me and I don't have any particular talent.

I have life ambitions- to be happy ;)

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You'll find a purpose, you're still young enough.

My purpose is to stay alive and to get hep to with the news and how things are going. I'm interested what is going to happen in future, who will win all kinds of sport event championship titles in future :D and how much will change during all the life years. So - purpose is to live as long as possible to see all those changes. :p :

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Originally Posted by studiose

Thanks again. :)

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We all have life changing events. The biggest event for many people is the birth of their first child. It usually changes the way you see the world. I will remember that moment forever - the image will not fade. :)

My 'career path' was something roughly akin to the meanderings of a drunken snail-slow, and in no clear direction.

It turns out that my purpose found me, rather than me finding my purpose...

Keep your options open, and try everything once (if not twice). You never know of what you might be capable, or what you might enjoy...