Joke Time

A Mexican, an Arab and A Newfoundland girl are drinking in a bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer he throws the glass in the air, pulls out his Glock and shoots the glass to pieces and shouts 'In Mexico our glasses are so cheap we do not need to drink from the same one twice.'
The Arab clearly impressed by this drinks his beer, throws the glass in the air and pulls out his AK-47 and fires a burst blowing the glass into little pieces.
He then shouts 'In the Arab world we have so much sand to make glasses we do not need to drink from the same one twice!'
The little Newfie gal, cool as a cucumber, throws back her beer in one gulp, throws the glass in the air, whips out her .44 Magnum and shoots the Mexican and the Arab.
Catching her glass she sets it on the bar and calls for a refill and says 'In Canada we have so many illegal immigrants we do not have to drink with the same ones twice.'

Why The English Wore Red Coats in Battle.

A long time ago, Britain and France were at war.
During one battle, the French captured an English colonel. They
took him to their headquarters, and the French general began to
question him.
Finally, as an afterthought, the French general asked, Why do
you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red
material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?
In his bland English way, the officer informed the
general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so
that if they are shot, the blood won't show, and the men they are
leading won't panic.
And that is why, from that day to this, all French
Army officers wear brown trousers.

Markabilly actually took his wife to a restaurant for her birthday and this time it wasn't McDonalds.
The waiter for some reason took his order first.
Markabilly said 'I will have the rump roast, rare, please.'
The waiter asked 'Are you not worried about the mad cow?'
Markabilly replied ' Nah, she can order for herself.'
That is when the fight started.

....and then she left me for Easy...something about his face would be more comfortable for sitting than mine or donKey's.........Thank you Jesus!!!! (and Easy)

Got to remember to send him donKey's old scuba gear








remind me in a month or so...that is if easy is still breathin

No wonder she left him.
Markabilly and his wife were at her High School reunion and she kept staring
at a drunken man sitting by himself swigging his drink.
Markabilly asked 'Do you know him?'
She sighed 'Yes, he is my old boyfriend and I understand he took to drinking right after we broke up and he hasn't stopped drinking since.'
Markabilly said' My God! Who would think a person could keep celebrating that long.
Then the next fight started.

that is it....you can buy your own scuba gear.....and gas mask for those "special moments"

Markabilly's wife sat down next to him as he was flipping channels on the TV.
She asked 'What is on the TV?'
Markabilly in his usual diplomatic way said 'Dust.'
That is when another fight started.

be sure there are no open flames around during those special moments....donKey is still trying to grow back his hair

Poor ol' Markabilly can't win for losing.
He and his wife were in bed watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire.
He turned to her and asked 'Do you want to have sex?'
She just said 'No'.
So Markabilly asked 'Is that your final answer?'
She replied quickly 'Yes'.
So he cleverly said 'Then I would like to phone Donkey's wife.
That started yet another fight.

and it got worse, cause she would not give me a quarter so I could go see donKey's old woman....