"A 2007 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year.
Printable View
"A 2007 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year.
A 2007 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year
Another study found that Australians drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year.
That means, on average, Australians get about 41 miles per gallon."
Not bad eh!
Catholic education and a no.2# pencil
You don't even have to be Catholic to appreciate this one.
Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School
Usually she slept through the class.
One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.
"Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"
When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend
sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret.
The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class.
A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and
Savior?"
But Mary didn't stir from her slumber Once again, Johnny came to her
rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.
"Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said,
"Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.
The Nun asked her a third question..."What did Eve say to Adam after
she had her twenty-third child?"
Again, Johnny came to the rescue.
This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that
damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
The nun fainted...........
:p :
To make it stand, you wet it !.
To make it wet, you suck it !
To make it stiff, you lick it !
To get it in, you push !
Damn
Threading a needle when your older is NO JOKE ! ! ! :s mokin:
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair
Very good Roby44, at least we have something happening in the forum while we wait for the season to kick off :up: It's very quiet here at the moment.
By the way, for an Aussie to only drink 22 gallons of beer in a year, I would call him a tea totaler. I think I drink much more than that each year, but then, I am in China and a standard 700ml bottle of beer costs 3 RMB (0.28 EU/48 cents Australian/41 cents US) per bottle for your standard beer. The good thing is that the beer is quite good, as the brewing process in China was brought here by the Germans. Can you see why I love it here ? Cheers all :beer: :beer: :beer: :up:
On a lighter note, boys , which pair of " team-mates" do you think dislike each other the most? Rossi and Lorenzo spring to mind, but they put on a good show at the press release of the 08 Yammy. Dani and Nicky have reached the stage where they can slag each other in public. Where can we get the real dirt on what goes on in the paddocks?
Vale and Lorenzo look alike now don't they?? Both got that Buzz cut going on!
Nicky and Dani haven't got on too well for some time I think..
Crikey that is very cheap isn't it??Quote:
Originally Posted by maxu05
I only drink Bundaberg Rum and it is about $5.00 a can in places!!
Where are you from orginally??
Born and bred in Australia mate, that's why I love my beer :beer:Quote:
Originally Posted by Roby44
$5:00 for a Bundy (I miss drinking Bundy, can't get it here) would be 31.7 RMB. Wow, that is expensive. Looks like the Govs get a big piece of the old tax dollar. I think I will stick to my 30 cent bottles of beer lol