Markabilly shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour, crawled painfully onto a stool and ordered a banana split.The waitress asked 'Crushed nuts?'
Markabilly replied 'No, just arthritis.'
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Markabilly shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour, crawled painfully onto a stool and ordered a banana split.The waitress asked 'Crushed nuts?'
Markabilly replied 'No, just arthritis.'
Joke of the week is Rudi Koertzen, I said after the last test he should retire, the guy is a disgrace.........
what i like about cricket is that a cricket crunches much louder than a roach when you step on themQuote:
Originally Posted by Camelopard
A local charity realised that the organisation had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to extract a contribution.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are well beyond her means?" Embarrassed, the charity rep mumbled, "Um... no."
The lawyer interrupts, "OR that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken charity rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"OR how about that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "... leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
An ambulance arrived to recover the remains of a "certain moderator".... they saw Taz standing there, so they asked him what happenned.
taz said "He fell of the 20 foot ladder in the gym"
So they asked "how"
taz said, "I do not know, all I know is that I saw him at the top, holding a light bulb against a socket. So I asked him why he was not turning it in order to screw it in"
So they say, "what did he say?"
He said, "I do not need to, because the world revolves around me, so I just hold it and it will screw itself in"
So, what happenned next?
Taz, "I thought about it for a moment, then hollered "Train!!
then he started doing jumping jacks...."
They said, "well that was pretty bad, aren't you ashamed....."
Taz said, "well it could have been worse, i could have said "napcar", "nastycar", "TG fanboy", "markabilly"........
There are Three Types of Men.
1. Those who learn and understand from reading.
2. Those who learn by observation.
3. Those who go ahead and pee on the electric fence anyway and have to find out things the hard way.
My sex life isn't dead but the vultures are circling.
Pinched from somewhere else, old but funny:
Error messages seen on the computer screens in Japan, where some are written in Haiku.
1. The Web site you seek cannot be located, but countless more exist.
2. Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.
3. Program aborting: Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much.
4. Windows crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.
5. Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that.
6. Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone.
7. Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down.
8. A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.
9. Three things are certain. Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred?
10. You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. The page is not here.
11. Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, but we never will.
12. Having been erased, the document you’re seeking must now be retyped.
13. Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared.
14. Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
Warning
The dog has a gun and refuses to take his medication!!!
While attending a 'Marriage Encounter Seminar' Markabilly and his wife listened to the instructor declare 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.'
He addresssed the men, 'Can you name and describe your wife's favourite flower?'
Markabilly leaned over and gently touched his wife's arm and whispered 'Pillsbury All-purpose isn't it?'
And thus began Markabilly's life of celibracy.
90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house.
The other 10% kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wife.