Joke Time

What is the difference between a man and Bigfoot?
One is covered in matted hair and smells awful.
The other has big feet.


If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek.

Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by fousto

President Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.

One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is
playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him that would be a tragedy?'

'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.' 'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call great loss.'

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?'

'Well,' says Little Johnny, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss... and it probably wouldn't be a f---ing accident either.

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:D

After Farah Fawcet died, she got to heaven and was told she lead a good life, so she would be granted one small last wish.....she said she wanted children to be safe.
A minute later, miko jacko was dead

http://www.deadmichaeljacksonjokes.c...ieliciouss.gif

madonna and angelina jolie both sent their condolences to the family of jacko, and then asked how much they wanted for the kids....

Speaking of racing and jokes, here is few of Danica

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLLZh...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLLZh...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BeDy...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_5Ca...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRoxJ...eature=related

but the very best of all

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjGsJNQKRfw

:eek:

What racin is all about, just remembe no beavers were injured during the filming

When two's company, three is the result.


Ever wonder about those people who pay $2.00 apiece for those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards.


I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

A life long city man ol' Taz tired of the rat race decided he was going to give up city life and become a chicken farmer.
A neighbor came over one day and said 'Chicken farming isn't easy. Tell you what, to help get you started I will give you a 100 chickens'.
Two weeks later he dropped by to see how Taz was making out.
Taz said 'Not too well. All 100 chickens died.'
'I don't understand that. What went wrong?'
'Well' Taz replied ' I am not sure if I am planting them too deep or too close together.'

In honor of Eki, whose dream job is:

Originally Posted by Eki http://www.motorsportforums.com/foru...s/viewpost.gif

http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/d.../taco-bell.jpg

Thought for a second that was micko sicko jacko, then realized that was not a baby in the wrapper.....just eki, back at work

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Easy Drifter

A life long city man ol' Taz tired of the rat race decided he was going to give up city life and become a chicken farmer.
A neighbor came over one day and said 'Chicken farming isn't easy. Tell you what, to help get you started I will give you a 100 chickens'.
Two weeks later he dropped by to see how Taz was making out.
Taz said 'Not too well. All 100 chickens died.'
'I don't understand that. What went wrong?'
'Well' Taz replied ' I am not sure if I am planting them too deep or too close together.'

---

To which Donkey da buzzard responded, "probably neither, as mine do much better when I plant them feet first...."
To which Esay said, "Yeah, I tried it the other way for years before i switched"

Markabilly accidently swallowed some coins and was rushed to hospital.
His missus called to ask how he was and a nurse said 'No change yet!' :eek:

Iranian president Mahmud Ahmadinejad calls President Obama and tells him,
"Barack, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America , the whole
beautiful country, and on each house I saw banner."

"What did it say on the banners?" Obama asks.

Mahmud replies, "UNITED STATES OF IRAN."

Obama says, "You know, Mahmud, I am really happy you called, because believe
it or not, last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Tehran , and
it was more beautiful than ever, and on each house flew an enormous banner."

"What did it say on the banners?" Mahmud asks.

Obama replies, "I don't know, I can't read Hebrew.