Fgp 2013

Aki Racing Team Press Release - Regarding Malaysian GP.

We are largely disappointed at the teams progress following a pretty disastarous Malaysian GP. We finished joint 42nd of 46. It was a race that saw some elements of misfortune for the team.
We had Jenson Button running a fine 5th with a potential podium position up for grabs until Stupid Mclaren team ruined his Race. We chose to retire him a lap early so Jenson could give the wheel man a piece of his mind.

On a more positive note Valterri Bottas really impressed team boss Steve Aki this weekend, after battling his slow Williams which dropped him behind Marussia's and Caterhams. He showed great consistancy and determination to recover and pass cars. We viewed him as unlucky to finish 11th.

At least he finished ahead of Gutierrez who has been showing an unsporting attitude towards our driver, maybe provoked by his teams stance.

As for our Chassis, the Sauber is stuggling for pace, and despite being happy to see Bottas finish ahead of Gutierrez we actually could have done with the Mexican getting some points.

After 3 non scores with one Sauber and two drivers, we finally had some points to speak of, with Hulkenbergs Sauber claiming a fine 8th.

Once again our Engine blasted us above a couple of our backmarker rivals.

28 points was a disappointing return but we battled to finish above last and did. The whole team needs to improve and aim at teams 35-40.

Our overall Championship position after 2 Rounds is 28th of 46. On 70 points but having used our Bonus GP.

We hope all aspects of our team improve in China in 3 weeks.

Team Loco Americano F1 Press Release:

We were recently informed by several people that two races have already taken place this season. If anyone can confirm this, please stop by the hospitality trailers. The trailers are easy to spot by the crowd of beautiful women surrounding them.

If this rumor turns out to be true, I will take full responsibility as the team principle and will get us back on track. At a bare minimum I will ensure that all our drivers, team support personnel, and staff leave the hospitality trailers no later than 3am on race weekends. This should allow several hours for sobriety before the race.


P.S. If anyone has another hospitality suite we could really use it, and we have budget cash still in hand. Several have complained that our current trailers are too full of grid girls and supermodels. We thought the 30:1 ratio was just fine, but apparently it's crowding some of the sponsors. :)

Force Finland enjoys best start yet:

After years of struggling, Force Finland is happy to have found a good combination of chassis, engine and drivers. We are hopeful that Bottas will soon be some points for the team as well. The team is looking forward to the rest of the season.

Bah! I want to start the season again! :mad:



:p

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rjbetty

Bah! I want to start the season again! :mad:



:p

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Me too.

Can we start a mutiny.

I'm back baby!

after winning in 2010 it was followed by 2 lackluster seasons
I blame it on my 2010 title chase and late updates, which meant I started my 2011 development very late and could not get out a decent product, then 2012 was just an epic disaster
got my mojo back for 2013
lol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by airshifter

Team Loco Americano F1 Press Release:

We were recently informed by several people that two races have already taken place this season. If anyone can confirm this, please stop by the hospitality trailers. The trailers are easy to spot by the crowd of beautiful women surrounding them.

If this rumor turns out to be true, I will take full responsibility as the team principle and will get us back on track. At a bare minimum I will ensure that all our drivers, team support personnel, and staff leave the hospitality trailers no later than 3am on race weekends. This should allow several hours for sobriety before the race.


P.S. If anyone has another hospitality suite we could really use it, and we have budget cash still in hand. Several have complained that our current trailers are too full of grid girls and supermodels. We thought the 30:1 ratio was just fine, but apparently it's crowding some of the sponsors. :)

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It is not the girls that made us file the complaint but rather the loud techno blaring the night away from your hospitality tent which is adjacent to our garage, while our team worked on our cars late at night. And while we are at it, we just want to end speculation about our shorts policy for team and crew. We did not ban them. There was a mishap at the airport customs with one of our containers and the shorts were in there. ;)

Yellow Jens GP Racing Team
Press release

Pre-Chinese Grand Prix evaluation
Following another inter-team colloquium in a nice hut in the tropics of Malaysia (considering all our 48M went to the team and none was left for hospitality – this is what we had to opt for!) the team had to take a critical look at the championship and set some further goals for future events. As evidenced, Yellow Jens GP Racing Team is trailing the best non-bonus GP team by 22 points already. And in order to avoid losing touch with the leaders, the team can't afford to let the gap grow bigger really.

„Basically we need to start scoring at least 40 points per Grand Prix,“ concluded team principal Jens. "This is achievable mainly via one method. Either our engine or chassis has to win races. Because so far we have had to be content with minor podium steps, but this is not enough to collect 40 points or more per Grand Prix. I hope both our chassis and engine has more performance in reserve, because by playing a runner-up all season we are hardly going to improve our position much."

Yellow Jens GP Racing Team is currently tied 33rd out of 46 teams in the championship. „The position is not ideal, but due to our late preparation we had to take into account a possible slow start into the season. Not everything is lost yet, but we have to win races somehow. Also it would be nice if our drivers contributed more, which would make the task of collecting 40+ points regularly more achievable. From Chinese GP onwards this is the minimum target. And we will be monitoring our further progress in detail.“

Fear the Renault-engined teams!
The team principal of Yellow Jens GP Racing Team admits that he considers Renault-powered teams as strong contenders for the championship, who are hard to beat. „The best non-bonus GP teams in the championship are currently Eagle-Parnelli Racing and Spitze Gurke Racing – both of who have a Renault engine and either Lotus or Red Bull chassis. It is hardly a co-incidence. Clearly both Renault-powered teams are performing at an extremely high level and are hard to beat this season,“ commented the principal with a concerned look.

„It is a hard task, but either with our engine or chassis we have got to beat them. They have already won two races and have opened a points cushion. We have got to fight it back.“

Slash Inc. is trying to recover from the loss of our motivational leader to Force India.
In a desperate bid to recapture that inertia Checo has been encouraged to carry his switchblade to all race functions. After a closed door meeting and in an attempt to rally the forces he was overheard telling Pic while brandishing his blade.
"Aprende a conducir aweonao!!" That's what I call team spirit! :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by steveaki13

Me too.

Can we start a mutiny.

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Yes.

VAUXHALL ASTRA STATEMENT

In a big strop at how our season is going, Vauxhall Astra F1 Team demand to the series promoter N.Jones that we want more money. If we don't receive more funds, we are going to set up our own breakaway biscuit championship. *blows raspberry*

We know that FGP won't survive without the involvement of our illustrious and most historic team (despite the fact that in reality, this is our first season and we haven't had any results to speak of)

Our breakaway championship will consist of 9 delicious biscuits coated in milk chocolate and individually wrapped for yummy goodness.

WHO'S WITH ME?!!!

:p


(In case anyone hasn't noticed yet, the preceding post was a parody of a certain Mr di Montezemelo) :)