Joke Time

Doctors are threatening to go on strike.
Health Officials say they will be able to determine what the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist to read the picket signs..

I had the swine flu.
I am better now.
I guess that makes me a cured ham.

The New England Journal of Medicine reports 9 out of 10 doctors agree 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

According to a recent marketing survey 32% of all diamonds are purchased right before Christmas.
Another 50% are purchased right after the test strip turns pink.

Politicians are like diapers. Both need to be changed regularly.
And for the same reason!

Markabilly is in Spain and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner. As he looks around he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two huge meatballs in the centre.
When the waiter asks him for his order Markabilly asks about the meatball dish.
The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles and when the bull loses the bullfight this beautiful dish is made.
Markabilly tells the waiter he wants this dish for dinner.
The waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought but he can order the dinner for tomorrow.
Markabilly agrees and returns the next day.
When the dish is brought out he notices the meatballs are quite small and questions the waiter.
The waiter replies 'Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins.'

You should not say anything about the dead unlesss it is good.
He is dead.
Good.

You do not need a parachute to skydive,
You only need a parachute to skydive more than once.

"god is dead" said Nietzsche

"Nietzsche is dead" said God

Amtrack officials have invented environmentally friendly railroad crossing bells made from horse manure.
Instead of going 'ding ding ding' they go 'dung dung dung.'


Question: How do you get a man to do sit ups?

Answer: Put the remote control between his toes.