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I'm sorry Slinkster but having done something similar and having no intentions other than meeting up for a chat I can see where Rudy's coming from. He wants to have his cake and eat it. He wants to meet up with the ex for some coffee and doesn't want his wife to kill him. He's mistaken! But he's not necessarily trying to hide anything bad as such......Quote:
Originally Posted by slinkster
Why would you want to be friend's with the ex-gf? I just think it's counterproductive to waste time on something that isn't going to work, especially if you're already in a relationship. Just let it go and focus on what's right in front of you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel
I would be respectful to an ex-gf if we crossed paths, but other then that, they can stay the hell away from me.
Well at some point, the wife should give her man credit and not be so paranoid...so I can understand why Rudy is thinking "I wear the pants in this family, I can decide who I have coffee with". That said, looking for trouble is always trying to prove a point, where it doesn't need to be made.Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel
To be fair though, if he wants to meet up with her he shouldn't do a Daniel and try to hide it when there's nothing to hide.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark in Oshawa
Good man. I'm still on very good terms with my ex-fiance's family (aunt) in Maryland - and we broke up about 15 years ago. But as for the ex, I don't wish her any harm, but as much as people have tried to get us back together... I have no interest in that, or even seeing her again. Once it's (really) over... in my book, it's over forever.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rudy Tamasz
Imagine if you'd eventually fallen out with this woman after reconnecting as "friends". She could have easily called or texted your wife and made up all sorts of sillines, just to cause you grief. And your wife, not knowing that you'd just had an innocent coffee with this woman, wouldn't know what to think. She would just know that you kept her in the dark... and wonder why you felt the need to do that, if it was innocent. It would surely harm your relationship with her.
What you said on the previous page, about drama and relationships with women, is very true. But that's actually true of any human relationship (friends will want to borrow money or want you to do things for them, relatives will want to visit you when it's least convenient, jilted women will talk about keying your car, you get into an out-of-town relationship and find out that she's MARRIED, a friend's *drunk* wife plants a big kiss on you at a party and now it's weird to see her... and you're going out with her sister, etc., etc.).
The old saying is, if you want a (true) friend, buy a dog. I didn't even have to do that. A pretty black lab stray showed up at my house last summer when I was rather down in spirits. I'm not really a dog person, but I've let her stay - she's funny, goofy and very friendly... loads of fun (and she doesn't talk! :p : ). About the longest that I'll allow an unrelated (human) female to stay at this house is 72 hours. Think about getting a dog, my friend. :up:
Perhaps not everything is about getting sex though? Some people can be friends because they want to be friends with people and find it rewarding?Quote:
Originally Posted by gloomyDAY
Exactly.....sometimes the act of hiding the meeting is enough to put your boy's in the vise....not your intentions. It is all about appearences with women...Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel
Absolutely! As long as it isn't with your ex-gf.Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel
Thank you everyone for a fantastic and entertaining start to the day...
This thread has made me laugh like no other...
It's amazing how men unite around the world with the sole purpose of survival and keeping the peace...
well done chaps...
situation difused...
Rudy will live...
:)
AJP, the boys couldn't let Rudy make a mistake. The Brotherhood has to stick together, because women all belong in the same Union, and they Grieve ALL our misdeeds!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by gloomyDAY
I sort of agree with this. I quite often see one of my exes in the pub and she always completely blanks me. Seems quite pathetic.
This is true! Although sadly i've not had many 'dynamite' girls, the ones that were dynamite were crazy. But annoying. :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by gloomyDAY
Been divorced from my Ex for 35 years,in that 35 years the ONLY words we have spoke to each other,was "hello".
That was at a funeral,She told our joint children ,that I was a "Kelly",,for those who dont know what a Kelly is,its a toy that you knock over ,but stands back up again.
She hated the fact that after she took everything I had,that i could get back up,and be financially secure again.
I don't want to look more innocent that I actually am. ;) Certain things were very good between my ex and me and even reemerged sporadically after we officially split and despite the fact that we could not stand each other. Yet this time my intentions did not go beyond a cofee and a chat.Quote:
Originally Posted by gloomyDAY
I never get in touch with them anymore since we're separated, I think it's harmless to make friends with your exes, you only need to treat them like your average friends, if you met them by coincidence just say to them 'hello' and 'how are you', no need to avoid meeting them. I think they will understand that you have your own life. But not close friends, don't try to meet them on purpose, usually we miss moment with close friends and want to meet them to have some coffee and cigar, chat and make a lot of fun.
I don't see the point. If you know your wife will have a problem with it, then it's a huge mistake to do this behind her back rather than just tell her that you're going to meet your ex.
Wierdly, I agree with gloomyday on this. It's pointless. It could stir up feelings that are best left alone.
There's only one reason I'd meet up with my ex- and it's not something I would consider unless I was single. ;)
I don't see why everyone doesn't see the point of meeting an ex. Unless of course you split on really bad terms it's nice to keep in touch and see how the other person is going because unless it ended up really badly and you never want to hear from that person again most people will still care enough to want to know that the person is OK and doing well etc etc.
Well, because... women are really boring. Why suffer through the tedium of hearing them talk about their lives when you can get the essential info from friends? There's no point in that at all. Unless you're looking to get your card stamped.Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel
LOL card stamped :D Classic :up:Quote:
Originally Posted by studiose
I must admit it's kinda nice to say "Oh you got dumped? :( Ah well plenty more fish in the sea etc etc, I'm happy, have been with so and so for a few years now :p " *snigger*
The only reason to meet your ex is to do something physical - anything and everything else can be done by phone or email.Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel
You are naive to think your wife won't find out and when she does the first thing she will ask is why didn't you tell her.... and you have not got an answer that won't dig a bigger and deeper hole.
Sure is, but I can't take credit for it. Del Boy. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel
Is it? :confused: I managed to meet up with an ex and not have anything physical happen?Quote:
Originally Posted by Les
I'm all for communication by phone and by email but sometimes seeing someone face to face is good. I'm going to a stag weekend in a week and a bit. Should be all sit at home on msn with webcams instead? :confused: Whilst I'm the sort of person who can hold a grudge I can also sometimes be sensible and just realise that what happened happened for a reason and if I'm happy with things now why shouldn't I just be friends with someone?
Well, at least I know the world is going to end today.Quote:
Originally Posted by slinkster
:laugh: I just woke up my brother by laughing!Quote:
Originally Posted by studiose
The rules are different with an ex-gf. You know that Daniel. There is a set of guidelines to friendship, which happens to be skewed if you previously slept with that "friend".Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel
Now I know that you went out for some coffee and a chat with the ex, and no monkey business. At the same time you'll have this clout of guilt if you're in a relationship, especially if your current gf doesn't know about this engagement (I'm sure you told your gf and that's how she found out). My point is that there is a very big difference between having a friend that's a female and hanging out, and having an ex-gf that just keeps hovering around you.
One last thing. The main reason that I keep ex-gf's at a distance is because women are inherently very jealous creatures, more so than men. If they can't have you, then they'll throw a wrench into any type of relationship that you're trying to seek with someone else.
If you bail, then you bail. Don't look back!
I just remind myself that Slorydn2 carries a .357 magnum AND KNOWS HOW TO USE IT!!!! That by itself is more than enough to keep me from chatting with ANY ex's!!!!!! :p :
Never ever meet an Ex you are better without them.
The reference to "getting one's card stamped" had me laughing out loud as well....
Around here, my buddies and I usually refer it to getting one's "oil changed"......
No oil changed, we might only do fuel exchange...
seriously we only traded a book, write up something together, but if we meet again it's enough to cause great tenderness.
That's what ultimately stopped me from meeting with her this time. She could imagine that I am tired with my family life and looking for something different and that something would be her. I am good friends with some women but in this case friendship would be difficult. I came to that conclusion upon some reflection induced by your honest attempts, my friends, to save me from myself. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by bluegem280
You don't know women do you?Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel
A real wife will know even if the husband is innocent and doesn't see his ex. :laugh:
And I guess she is right. :laugh:
All these rules about what you are and are not allowed to do are really putting me off ever having a long term realationship :laugh:
:up:Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown, Jon Brow
You gotta think it through. What works best for you, what do you really want. Nowadays with women pretty much as unconstrained as men, it's perfectly possible to have a great and fun life being single. Me, I don't plan to be in a relationship ever again. Of course, that doesn't mean that I never will be. The enemy is well motivated and far better armed. Keep that in mind!
And also keep in mind stories like Mark's and Driveace's. You don't know how many guys there are out there who wish they could plead insanity for the day they put their hancock on that particular dotted line. Lots!
hadn't seen Mark quite a while, being busy with cars, oil changed?... ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark in Oshawa
or kills you....or kills both of you.....or runs off with one of her ex's......Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark
OTOH, you could invite the ex over for a threesome. Did that once and it worked out well, until they decided to run off together without me......Donkey's momma was never much on being loyal :mad:
You will find the same reason you left is still there. Have the coffee and it won't go anywhereQuote:
Originally Posted by Rudy Tamasz
Roamy, it's been a while since we last discussed that story. A lot of things happened since then. To put it in a politically correct manner ;) I remain fully committed to my family.
That is nothing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown, Jon Brow
Wait until you get married, and discover that the rules turn into laws of a more numerous, complex and universal nature that have draconian punishments for failing to adhere.
And unlike laws where you have to actually do something to break them, with clarity required to be enforceable, the more frequent offense is to fail to do something in a timely and proper manner as determined ex post facto.
And when you want to know what you did wrong, you are now in even worse trouble.... :eek:
You make marriage sound like F1 :pQuote:
Originally Posted by markabilly
He's not far off the mark!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel
My wife changed shorltly after we got married, and changed again when our kids were born.
And then she changed her name to Lotus?Quote:
Originally Posted by 555-04Q2
She changed her name to NO! Or maybe that's what she calls me now cause thats all I ever hear :p :Quote:
Originally Posted by barryfullalove
Took her a long time to figure it out. My son barely learned to speak when he understood that "no" is the most useful and efficient word in human communication. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by 555-04Q2