Children

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Originally Posted by BeansBeansBeans

Is that an offer? If you want to come and look after my daughter for a couple of mornings a week so that I can have a lie-in, that'll be grand :p :

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Eeeeer.... no sorry :p I mean that life is getting more and more family appart and that's a big problem.

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Originally Posted by janneppi

So the problem really is you(parents) and your parents and how much you suck at being parents, thanks a lot. :)

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Can I refer you to the word some in the first post. Looking at some of the hooligans out there you have to think that a lot of the mistakes made have possibly come in the first five years of their lives.

When your talking about discipline, I don't think a year of compulsary military service after your final year of schooling would be a harsh ask for every kid growing up. Maybe a bit old fashioned in the liberal world we are growing up in, but I think it would do wonders to they latest line of kids who are growing up without disciple because they can get ontop of their parents.

the problem today is that everyone is so worried aboutharming children through punnishments, that in the long term, kids suffer from this lack of discipline. Hell, you can't even touch a kid these days. My friend's mother who is a primary school teacher, has been advised to to straight out say "NO" to the students. Instead they should say "Please XXX, would you put down that stick".

Once story that sticks in my mind, someone I know was trying to use a lift, everytime the doors went to close some brat kept pressing the button outside. When they were threatened with a clip round the ear their response was "I'll see you in court"

You hear these stories of people pushed over the limit into taking matters into their own hands because no-one else will do anything. They are the ones that end up in court.

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Originally Posted by Ian McC

Can I refer you to the word some in the first post. Looking at some of the hooligans out there you have to think that a lot of the mistakes made have possibly come in the first five years of their lives.

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It's not too big of a strech to assume that i wasn't talking about every parent there is on earth is it?

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Originally Posted by Ian McC

Once story that sticks in my mind, someone I know was trying to use a lift, everytime the doors went to close some brat kept pressing the button outside. When they were threatened with a clip round the ear their response was "I'll see you in court"

You hear these stories of people pushed over the limit into taking matters into their own hands because no-one else will do anything. They are the ones that end up in court.

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I'd say that the main problem there is that the judicial systems in many countries (including the UK, especially the US) produce too many sentences that go against common sense.

Something needs to be done, but I really don't think that canes in schools or National Service is the answer.
More support needs to be given to working parents, meaning mums and dads, to allow them to spend more proper family time with their children. Our current long-hours working culture in the UK doesn't just mean that parents get less time with their offspring, but also that during the time they do have, they are tired and p***ed off about things and are not in the mood to argue with their kids. Therefore they give in to them for a quiet life.
For more extreme behavioural cases, special schools (or borstals) should be reinstated, so the minority of disturbed, difficult kids can be dealt with properly and not drag others down with them via bullying or peer pressure.
Finally, we need to stop the trend of blaming bad behaviour, or more scarily, any personality trait which means people don't quite "fit in", on a spurious illness or mental condition. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses which can be developed and worked on and should be encouraged to do so.

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Originally Posted by BeansBeansBeans

I wouldn't agree with a return to corporal punishment, but I do think there needs to be discipline between parent and child. My father was quite tough with me on occasion, which meant I didn't always like him, but I certainly respected him. A lot of parents want to be their child's best friend, which is perfectly natural, but sometimes you have to be the bad guy.

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Well said :up: I think it comes from guilt at not having enough time to spend with the kids, so they give in easier.

In Spain there's a time bomb waiting to go off IMO: Latin families are traditionally much closer than northern European families, but with parents stretched to the limit paying the mortgage etc, a lot of kids are dropped off early for school, and then don't see their parents for 12 hours. When these kids get to be teenagers they're not going to have much respect for their folks, the ones who've been working away to pay the bills. It's the grandparents who are often holding it all together, which is unfair on them.

What can you do, though? Maybe what families need is just a bit more time and space, simpler lives, less marketing, I don't know....

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Originally Posted by fandango

Well said :up: I think it comes from guilt at not having enough time to spend with the kids, so they give in easier.

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There seems to be a change of attitude amongst parents now. It's becoming a bit of a cliched thing to say, but when I was a kid (not that long ago) if I went home and told my parents I'd been punished by the teacher, my parents would give me a telling off. Now, many parents take umbrage whenever a teacher tries to impose discipline. I know a teacher who has been threatened with violence by the father of a child at a parents evening, because their child was under-performing.

Yeah, everyone's so highly strung that they don't think the teacher (or anyone else) might be right. Road rage was just the start.