Joke Time

Woman's faults are many.
Men only have two.
Everything they say and everything they do.

Taz goes into a resaurant and notices there is a peel and win sticker on his coffee cup. So he peels it of, looks and starts yelling 'I've won a motorhome, I've won a motorhome.'
The waitress comes over and tells Taz 'That is impossible, sir as the biggest prize is a free lunch.'
Taz shakes his head and keeps yelling 'I've won a motorhome. I've won a motorhome.'
The manager comes over and says 'I am sorry sir. but you are mistaken. We do not have a motorhome as a prize.'
Taz insists 'No it is not a mistake. I have won a motorhome'.
He hands the ticket to the manager.
The manager looks at it and reads 'WINABAGEL.'

Markabilly is still missing?

Last seen going into hospital with his missus on his head.
The doctor asked what happened.
His poor missus said "he got a bit carried away after reading his PM's"

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DonKey, I do not know what you are talking about. Neither one looks anything like my sister or my brother bubba

Anyway;

An Easy, Tazio and donKey were doing construction work on the scaffolding of a tall building. They were eating lunch.

Easy said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

Tazio opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Pasta again! If I get pasta one more time, I'm going to jump off too."

Donkey opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

Next day Esay opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. Tazio opens his lunch, sees pasta and jumps too.

Donkey opens his lunch, sees the bologna jumps and lands on his ass, resulting in the rare but painful "disappearing death".

At the funeral, Easy's wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

Tazio's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him linguini or mastacholi! I didn't realize he hated pasta so much."

Everyone turned and stared at el donKey vulture's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," she said. "He made his own lunch."

A Sunday School teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 5 and 6 year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour Thy father and Mother " she asked 'Is there a commnandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat young Markabilly answered 'Thou shall not kill."

back on the ranch....

A Sunday School teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 5 and 6 year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour Thy father and Mother " she asked 'Is there a commnandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat young Easy answered 'Thou shall not covet thy father's new wife."

A Sunday School teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 5 and 6 year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour Thy father and Mother " she asked 'Is there a commnandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat young donKey answered 'Thou shall not covet thy father's new ass."

Markabilly has been married for 25 years.
His wife's method of birth control is to leave the lights on.

Markabilly says, "Easy what makes you think you are a redneck?"
Easy says, " I got a home that is mobile and 12 cars that ain't..."

So Easy, why are you crying?
My home fell off it's cinder blocks and killed all 22 of my dogs.....

Three married couples arrive at the Pearly Gates at the same time.
St. Peter was awaiting their arrival and introduced himself.
St. Peter then asked the first couple their names.
'I'm Bob and this is my wife Penny' said the first man.
'I'm sorry.' said St Peter 'I am not allowed to admit anyone with a name connected to money.'
The next couple spoke up and said' I'm William and this is my wife Brandy.'
Again St. Peter was very apologetic as he said ' My deepest regrets but I am not allowed to admit anyone with a name associated with alcohol.'
The third man looked at his wife and said 'I think we may have a problem Fanny.'