"A 2007 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year.
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"A 2007 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year.
A 2007 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year
Another study found that Australians drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year.
That means, on average, Australians get about 41 miles per gallon."
Not bad eh!
Catholic education and a no.2# pencil
You don't even have to be Catholic to appreciate this one.
Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School
Usually she slept through the class.
One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.
"Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"
When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend
sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret.
The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class.
A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and
Savior?"
But Mary didn't stir from her slumber Once again, Johnny came to her
rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.
"Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said,
"Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.
The Nun asked her a third question..."What did Eve say to Adam after
she had her twenty-third child?"
Again, Johnny came to the rescue.
This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that
damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
The nun fainted...........
:p :
To make it stand, you wet it !.
To make it wet, you suck it !
To make it stiff, you lick it !
To get it in, you push !
Damn
Threading a needle when your older is NO JOKE ! ! ! :s mokin:
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair
Very good Roby44, at least we have something happening in the forum while we wait for the season to kick off :up: It's very quiet here at the moment.
By the way, for an Aussie to only drink 22 gallons of beer in a year, I would call him a tea totaler. I think I drink much more than that each year, but then, I am in China and a standard 700ml bottle of beer costs 3 RMB (0.28 EU/48 cents Australian/41 cents US) per bottle for your standard beer. The good thing is that the beer is quite good, as the brewing process in China was brought here by the Germans. Can you see why I love it here ? Cheers all :beer: :beer: :beer: :up:
On a lighter note, boys , which pair of " team-mates" do you think dislike each other the most? Rossi and Lorenzo spring to mind, but they put on a good show at the press release of the 08 Yammy. Dani and Nicky have reached the stage where they can slag each other in public. Where can we get the real dirt on what goes on in the paddocks?
Vale and Lorenzo look alike now don't they?? Both got that Buzz cut going on!
Nicky and Dani haven't got on too well for some time I think..
Crikey that is very cheap isn't it??Quote:
Originally Posted by maxu05
I only drink Bundaberg Rum and it is about $5.00 a can in places!!
Where are you from orginally??
Born and bred in Australia mate, that's why I love my beer :beer:Quote:
Originally Posted by Roby44
$5:00 for a Bundy (I miss drinking Bundy, can't get it here) would be 31.7 RMB. Wow, that is expensive. Looks like the Govs get a big piece of the old tax dollar. I think I will stick to my 30 cent bottles of beer lol
Those two blokes driving the race transporter in "Faster" would know :DQuote:
Originally Posted by jim mcglinchey
I just spent a few weeks relocating from Sydney to the Sunshine Coast (Queensland), I now live fairly close to Yandina where Vermeulen is from. My father in law (a local here) says he sees him out and about from time to time, usually in his 911 but sometimes in his F100.
I'll ask him for the gossip on team mates if I bump into him :p :
Welcome to Queensland!!
I'm just down the road from you in Brisbane.
Ah Queensland, where old Victorians go to die! :D
Anyone been watching the tennis lately? The mens has had some real cracker matches this year and the final should be a beaut. However, with Sharapova, Jankovic, Ivanovic and Hantucova making the womens top 4, the womens finals really wins hands down!
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Memory-loss man tells of shock
Kay Dibben
January 26, 2008 11:00pm
STANDING outside a Brisbane hospital, the young European-accented man with memory loss spoke of his shock and confusion at not even knowing his own name.
In his first interview, on Friday evening, the man who presented himself at Royal Brisbane Hospital on January 17 said he saw faces in his dreams, but could not put names to them. Although he speaks with an obvious European accent, the young man (pictured) says he thinks he speaks English like everyone else.
"I don't recognise I'm speaking with an accent," he said.
"I can't imagine any other language."
Hospital tests have failed to determine the cause of his sudden memory loss and police have not been able to discover the identity of the man in his early 20s.
He says he has spent time in the hospital library, reading about psychology and memory, and occasionally going for walks outside the hospital.
His first memory of finding himself in the middle of Brisbane 11 days ago was of walking around the streets.
"I became seriously confused, even shocked," he said.
"I started walking the streets thinking, 'Who am I?'. It was a big question. It disturbed me."
The man said he tried not to panic and to think logically.
"I couldn't stay in the middle of the city for the rest of my life," he said. "I believed a doctor or somebody at a hospital could help me."
Missing persons unit head Detective Senior Sergeant Jim Ryan said a group of young people told police the man had been with them outside Rockhampton for up to six weeks until January 14. He told them he was born in Poland, but had not lived there for quite a while. However, he has not recognised Polish spoken to him, nor the nickname he used when he met the other people.
Sketches clue to man's identity
Janelle Miles
January 25, 2008 11:00pm
HE sits in a Brisbane hospital, drawing with obvious flair, yet has told his doctors he cannot remember his name.
The man, believed to be in his early 20s, speaks English with a heavy European accent but gives no response when police and doctors try to determine his first language. He has been spoken to in Russian, German, Slovak, Czech and Polish.
"He may not remember what language he speaks," says Missing Persons Unit head Jim Ryan.
"I know that sounds a bit silly. With his loss of memory, we haven't ruled anything out."
Tests at the Royal Brisbane and Women's Hospital so far have failed to pinpoint a reason for his memory loss.
Gerard Byrne, head of psychiatry at the University of Queensland, said cases had been reported in medicine previously of multilingual people "losing" a language.
"Normally, the rule of thumb is that the language which goes is the one that you've learned most recently," he said.
"Those of us who deal with people who have got memory problems do see all sorts of unusual variants from time to time."
Associate Professor Byrne said amnesia was rare in young people and diagnosis was often difficult.
Physical causes may include migraine, epilepsy, problems involving blood flow to the brain and vitamin deficiency.
As time goes on and these causes are ruled out, a psychological condition, known as dissociative amnesia, triggered by a major shock or trauma, appears more likely.
"A rape, mugging or life-threatening experience can set it off," Professor Byrne said. He said that in such cases, the problem usually resolved itself.
"Making the person feel safe and comfortable and removing them from any stressful situation, having an expectation that they're going to recover rather than treating them like an invalid does them a lot of good," Professor Byrne said.
Some patients may need psychological counselling and anti-depressants, he said.
Gold Coast psychiatrist Philip Morris said treatment also may include hypnosis or intravenous drug therapy using Amytal, a barbiturate formerly known as a "truth drug".
"The Amytal acts to dampen anxiety," he said.
"You introduce it slowly and you can maybe get the person to start to talk about the events that caused them to lose their memory of who they are. It's called an Amytal interview."
Police believe the man spent several weeks in the Rockhampton area before arriving at the RBWH nine days ago.
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Why do these female tennis players grunt and groan when they hit the ball!! :dozey: :confused: :confused: :confused:
Surely we don't all sound like that when we play tennis! :p :
That would suck.
I think this thread is probably better suited to the 'Anyone out there' general thread.
Thanks for the welcome Roby44! We will have to get together over a drink to watch a race, perhaps when there's something in Japan or Malaysia. Nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon :)
I, personally, enjoyed watching Vaidisova play :p :D
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Can't lose with that but I have a new found appreciation for Ivanovic since she was photographed with a Melbourne Footy Club jumper!
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nice pics :cheese:
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Phantom
I'm hoping to be at Sepang again this year for the race!! :)
Fingers crossed!!
I greatly consider to visit Sepang this year, but knowing Sentul will host Speed series next month and Superbike in October, the plan of visiting Sepang is not an extremely urgent. :)
I am thinking of taking a well needed holiday, perhaps I will go to Malaysia for the GP as well. I always say that I want to get to the races, but something always comes up and I have to shelve my plans. It's always work, the wife makes plans and makes it hard to arrange a weekend of fun. Perhaps I will give her some cash and tell her she can go shopping for the weekend. Ideas anyone ?
Quote:
Originally Posted by maxu05
The shopping is great in Malaysia!! I love it!! The night markets are really good too. She will have a great time there so take her with you..
The more of us females going to the races or to shop the better!! :p :
Hi all, hope you are all well. I am just writing to say, if I am not online for a couple of weeks, it's due to the severe weather conditions here in China. If you don't know, China is experiencing the worst weather in over 50 years. There are snow storms all over China. There are places here that have never seen snow, that are experiencing blizzard like conditions. There is shortage of power, food, and water due to this freak weather. I think everyone here has been caught off gaurd by all this, so, I may not have electricity in the next few days. It is bloody cold here at the moment, and I am typing this with gloves on. I hope the weather clears before the start of the Jerez tests, I want to find out how the season will start. Cheers to you all, if you need ice for your drinks, I have lots of it here. John
Take care John..
Cheers, all the best to you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Roby44
:rolleyes: You Aussies just can't hack a bit of extreme weather can you? ;) :p :
And seeing as you're offering ice John I'll have two cubes for my Scotch please :up:
Well, I'm still here, no power cuts yet, but they say the worst is not over yet. I can't believe the amount of people effected by this weather. There are up to 800,000 people at the main railway station in our capital city Guangzhou (pronounced gwon jo) that have been waiting for days out in the cold. There are up to 500,000 people stuck on trains that have halted between country stations due to power lines collapsing due to the weight of ice on them. I think it is the sheer numbers of people effected that is making it hard to restore all systems and get everyone looked after. The army has deployed 1 million troops to clear the ice from the roads, rescue those that have been stranded, and deliver food, water and medical supplies. In Australia, if this happened, the head lines would read, "Thousands effected by severe weather". Here, its 140,000,000 effected by it. The numbers are mind blowing. Anyway, we are not doing too bad at the moment. The price of food has tripled in the last couple of days though, as they are having trouble shipping the fresh veges in from here and there. It couldn't happen at a worse time though, as we celebrate the Chinese New Year this week. All the best from over here in China all, and from me, Happy Chinese New Year.
I can only just imagine the chaos here if there were to be that number of people stuck at Central Station in Brisbane!!
Thats a lot of people isn't it?? :eek:
Good that you still have power though.
testing
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theyre the best posts weve done all year, Mr Yeo!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Jan Yeo
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This is a test message
Wow, we really are starved for racing :laugh: Bring on the racing for god sake.
Amen to that :up: Although I have to agree with Jim that we have excelled ourselves in this instance :D
Happy New Year all (thats Happy Chinese New Year). We will be partying here tonight, so, I will be sleeping late tomorrow. All the best for the year of the mouse.
So that's how the pesky little rodent at work is managing to eat the bait off the trap without setting it off. He's empowered!Quote:
Originally Posted by maxu05
Its funny you should say that, on Tuesday I'd my sandwiches wrapped in foil , in an open Nike bag on the office floor, and I was only out in the shop for a few minutes a couple of times but at 10.00 a rat had gnawed through the foil and started munching one of my sarnies. Definitely getting bolder.
Lace it with arsenic next time. Just don't forget you did! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by jim mcglinchey