Mice

[oily oaf]

Now then. Mice. (bends down to gently wipe drool from cat's whiskers with Babywipe. "Come on Dipstick, in your basket, that's a lovely boy")
No not the "wee, sleekit, cowrin, timrous beastie" made famous by Scottish Bard "Rabbie" Burns in his poem "Ahm aff mah heed agin"
I refer instead to the rolling, clicking, fluff collecting computer mouse so beloved of the four-eyed, pasty-faced geek and Arsenal soccer stars.
In short I'm sick of having to clean out bits of fluffy gunk from the innards of my little ball driven beauty in order to stop it skipping and at times seizing up altogether :(
Any hints or tips on what I should go for or conversely avoid like the plague chaps and chapperinettas?
Those laser ones look jolly nice don't they :) . Bit pricey though :mad:
No pink ones please ladies. (squares shoulders, shaves hands and buries face in copy of "How To Suspend Heavy Weights From Your Genitalia Without Tears")
All help and advice will be greatly appreciated......no five pounds though I'm afraid. No bonus this month you see :(
(leaps out of chair to get ready for work and steps on head of cat killing it instantly)

[Rollo]

The current mouse that I have I picked up from a big stationery store for $19.95 which at today's prices is less than £9.
I wouldn't have thought was a lot of dosh until I did the quick sums and realise that with that amount of money (plus 5c) I could get four pints of London Pride.

Thus we arrive at the twin horns of a dilemma. Is it worth the money to stop the inconvenience and pay for a Goebbels style mouse? Or is the money better of saved for four pints of brain marination?
Nine squids is not a lot of money after it's all said and done.

[CharlieJ]

Oily,

You should pay a visit to your local PC World (That's Pet Cat World) and aquire one of the latest electronic versions of the old clockwork mouse.

To be precise, an infra-red USB mouse - no more delicate cleaning of mouse balls :eek: , although if you turn it upside down you may find its single glowing red eye a little disturbing.

[Mark]

Mice with roller balls are so out of date :s .

[CarlMetro]

Crikey! Last time I saw a mouse with a ball was in a museum of antiquities, could be worth a fortune on Ebay Oily, talking of which http://computers.listings.ebay.co.uk/Input-Devices_Mice_W0QQfromZR4QQsacatZ23154QQsocmdZListi ngItemList plenty available on there. If you are going down the laser cordless route then make sure you get one that's rechargeable as they eat batteries when you forget to turn them off :s

[koppite_rob]

Carl Ive searched Ebay for battery eating mice,can't find any!

There is a man eating lion,a hippo eating white marbles & an Oily eating KFC.

[Mark in Oshawa]

I like my roller ball mouse. In a pinch, you can take the ball out and throw it at people...

[oily oaf]

Mice with roller balls are so out of date :s .

So is the 1965 Shelby-Mustang GT350, the Ford GT40 and the Ferrari 250 GTO. Doesn't necessarily make 'em bad motors though.
Thanks for the input guys and thanks to Carl for posting the link. Much appreciated.
I think I might take Charlie's advice and go for an infra red USB job as the thought of having to sport out my hard earned folding for batteries frightens the life out of me TBH :eek:
I saw one on the PC World site, a Logitech I think it was. 15 sqiddlies + a fiver for some poor sod to deliver it into my sweaty little hand.
Yeah I know Rollo, I could get nearly 7 pints of "Pride" for that kinda dough but at the end of the day strong grog and the hedonistic lifestyle isn't the be all and end all tha knows. (drains bottle of rum, blows party whistle and leaps joyfully onto Bunny Girl)

[Daniel]

No need to go for "laser" one. The optical ones are good enough :)

Go for any of the ones made by Microsoft or Logitech and all will be good. No real reason to go for a cordless one unless you have something against cords :)

If you have big hands you might like to go for a right handed (if you are actually right handed of course) mouse because they generally tend to be a bit larger :)

[oily oaf]

No need to go for "laser" one. The optical ones are good enough :)

Go for any of the ones made by Microsoft or Logitech and all will be good. No real reason to go for a cordless one unless you have something against cords :)

If you have big hands you might like to go for a right handed (if you are actually right handed of course) mouse because they generally tend to be a bit larger :)

Thanks for that Dan :)
Yes I do have big hands. In fact I have been known to crush a grape with a single squeeze.
Logitech it is then.
Cheers mate :s mokin:

[Daniel]

Thanks for that Dan :)
Yes I do have big hands. In fact I have been known to crush a grape with a single squeeze.
Logitech it is then.
Cheers mate :s mokin:
On having a look on Ebay I would reccomend this as it's not too expensive (not too cheap though), is a Microsoft mouse and I have one which is of the same design and it's good

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Microsoft-Wireless-Intellimouse-Explorer-Optical-Mouse_W0QQitemZ270144171217QQihZ017QQcategoryZ9689 1QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Logitech are good but the right handed mice are a bit more expensive than their Microsoft cousins and you need to spend close to 40 quid to get a nice one and only idiots like me do stuff like that :p

[oily oaf]

Forty quid Dan!!!!!!
Blimey mate if I paid that sort of money I'd have to take it up to bed and give it one :eek:
I'm happy to announce that I will soon be the proud owner of a rather natty looking Logitech infra red mouse. I ordered it today from Pet Cat's World and I've been assured that it will be delivered to my door within 3 working days.
I say it's all jolly exciting isn't it :o
(lights pipe, takes chair into hall, fixes eyes on letterbox and waits)

[Drew]

I never remembered roller ball mice being so horrible, until I had to use one in an internet café recently. Horrible!

[koppite_rob]

'Rollerball Mice' conjures up some sort of horrible film tie in with James Caan & Bag Puss on skates in a barbaric sporting arena fighting a corrupt corporation run by mice.

[oily oaf]

Still no sign of it :(
I'm starting to get a bit worried now.
I wonder if they tried to deliver it while I went to the toilet :(
I mean the couriers knocks may have coincided with the splashes.
Still not to worry. It'll probably come tomorrow first thing. :)
(relights pipe, sits on commode in hall and tries to hook piece of bread from kitchen table with fishing rod)

[Mark in Oshawa]

Oily.....put cheese on your doorstep, and maybe a bunch of bills in an envelope and mail it to me, I will get it to you....it is on the back of my truck. Honest, it is....

[oily oaf]

Day 3 of my ordeal. Still no sign of mouse.
Am living off rolled up fluff from carpet and condensation on hall porch window.
Must eat something soon
Please God let it come today.
Am starting to smell terribly. Even cat is avoiding close contact.
Have developed fungal infection in pants.
Terrible cramp in firm, young buttocks.
Must drink something.......
(maneuvers joined up drinking straws towards bowl of downstairs chodbin)

[Eki]

You sound micerable, oily.