The Last Word

[LeonBrooke]

True, but I'd rather have atomic weapons and a fleet of Spitfires :D

[DonnieDarco]

Yes, but an army of darkness won't pollute the planet nearly as much as nuclear weapons. They are really the greenest option :D

[LeonBrooke]

Ha! Green! I'm only interested if it's glowing in the dark :D

By the way, congratulations on getting the 2000th post Donnie :)

[fly_ac]

I'll have the LW now.......... :)

[DonnieDarco]

The 2000th post??? Woohoo!! I didn't spot that :D

[CarlMetro]

Just like you didn't keep the LW either :p :

[Donney]

The LW will tell you something, but it will be a lie, or maybe it will be the truth? The LW is one of my main allies on my missions and I doubt whether it will betray my trust ;)


The LW has never lied to me and never will, that's the kind of loyalty it shows to its master.
:D

[DonnieDarco]

Yeah, right Donney :D

[CarlMetro]

Pigs might fly too :p :

[fly_ac]

Pigs has masters too. :D

[CarlMetro]

...........but not the LW

[fly_ac]

I agree.

[CarlMetro]

I'm glad :D

[fly_ac]

So I'll have the LW now. :mad:
:D

[CarlMetro]

no, you won't :D

[fly_ac]

Yes I will. :mad: :mad:
:D

[CarlMetro]

No, no, no! It's mine!!!!!

[fly_ac]

I'll get there. :\

[CarlMetro]

Never!

[fly_ac]

Just ask the LW......no wait.......may tell lies. I'll just take it. :D

[CarlMetro]

You can't because it is with me and I'm not telling you where I am :p :

[Donney]

Because you don't know where it is.

[DonnieDarco]

I do :D

[fly_ac]

You do? :)

[Donney]

How do you do?

[CarlMetro]

Very well thankyou, three more working days and I'll be even better :D

[jso1985]

but without the LW ;)

[CarlMetro]

No, I have that too :D

[Rollo]

I see that... and I'll raise you a Helen Shapiro and a case of Turtle Wax

[DonnieDarco]

Is that for polishing up actual turtles?

[fly_ac]

and the LW. :)

[CarlMetro]

What, this one here you mean?

[fly_ac]

No, this one here. :)

[CarlMetro]

But that's the wrong one ;)

[stevie_gerrard]

are you sure? ;)

[DonnieDarco]

Yes, positive :D

[schmenke]

The genuine LW is, and has always been, with me :D

[DonnieDarco]

Yeah....................sure :D

[schmenke]

‘Tis true. All other LWs are mere facsimiles of the one which rests with me :D

[DonnieDarco]

Riiiight :D

[CarlMetro]

I believe someone has had a pint of Ol' Crunchy too many, for it seems to have done strange things to his brain :p :

[DonnieDarco]

More than one, I'll wager :D

[djarumdudley]

a winning bet surley, but one where the last word is not the prize.

[LeonBrooke]

The last word is perfectly happy to stay with me thanks very much, it doesn't appreciate being objectified :D

[Rollo]

not even the object of one's affection? It's jolly well snooty then

[MrJan]

My LW

[djarumdudley]

and now it's mine.

[stevie_gerrard]

i dunno about that

[LeonBrooke]

not even the object of one's affection? It's jolly well snooty then

It doesn't mind being the object of my affection :D but all the rest of you creep it out :D

[Rollo]

:eek:

This post has been deleted in accordance with the Office of Communications Act 2002 because the nature of it happens to be quite lewd

Copies and diagrams may be obtained from my office later. The Practical Examination will occur soon :D

[LeonBrooke]

See what I mean? It's this kind of behaviour which gives us all a bad reputation. You should be ashamed of yourself :D

[DonnieDarco]

And what about you Leon, you clown hater :D

[jso1985]

as long as he doesn't hate the LW, then fine for me, clowns are scary :erm:

[LeonBrooke]

And what about you Leon, you clown hater :D

Yes, I proudly proclaim myself to think clowns are creepy. What sane person doesn't? :D


Don't tell me, Donnie, that you like clowns!? :D

[DonnieDarco]

Err, well - I didn't like that one in Poltergeist at ALL :D Or the one in Buffy - But you, you are harbouring a deep hatred of them, where will it end?? :D

[LeonBrooke]

It will end when they're all incarcerated :D along with all those who call themselves "clown-fans" :D

[Rollo]

John Major was the son of a circus clown and look what he amounted to... :)

[DonnieDarco]

Yes, Prime Minister :laugh:

I need to also add that I really didn't like the clown in It,either :D

But by the law of averages alone, there must be some nice clowns out there? Somewhere?? :D

[Donney]

I seriously doubt that, look at Ronald McDonlad.

[DonnieDarco]

Thats a pretty good point I'll grant you, but even so :D

[Donney]

The LW agrees with me, as usual.

[fly_ac]

The LW can agree, I'll ask it. :D

[CarlMetro]

Well you'll have to come to my house to ask it, or perhaps give it a call on it's mobile?

[fly_ac]

That's not the real LW you have there. :D

[CarlMetro]

'tis too :p :

[fly_ac]

Ask the fake LW...
.......or will it tell you the truth. :cheese:

[CarlMetro]

unlike some of you I know the distinguishing marks and the bar-code number of the real LW, and there's no way I'm going to tell you what or where they are :p :

[fly_ac]

Probably just a good copy that you have. :)

[CarlMetro]

Nah, to copy this, you would have had to keep this one forever, and know it intimately ;)

[fly_ac]

:D

[CarlMetro]

:wave:

[schmenke]

:p :

[Rollo]

Does anyone know how to repair a cat, mine doesn't work right at all. It's intently staring at a wall.

[CarlMetro]

No, but I once scored a touchdown :D

[LeonBrooke]

How to repair a cat... hmmm, there's something I could talk about around a alternate interpretation of that question. However, I won't talk about it :p :

[Rollo]

Cats can be no end of trouble. Mrs Slocombe in that series of documentaries about the inner workings of a department store, had quite a number of problems with her cat :D

[stevie_gerrard]

i dont care about cats, i just care about the LW

[djarumdudley]

if you can't reapir the cat, just use as ammo in a cat launcher.

[LeonBrooke]

I care about cats, or rather one particular one, but I care about the LW as well :D

[DonnieDarco]

Rollo, trailing a piece of string past the cat should do the trick, they are unable to resist going after it :D

If that doesn't work, I'm going to have to suggest your cat cuts down on his drug intake just a tad :D

[Donney]

So how's the cat finally? The LW would like to know.

[fly_ac]

My cat ate the LW. :D

[Donney]

That's not possible.

[fly_ac]

I think it was Carl's fake one that he ate. :D

[schmenke]

Rest assured, the LW is fine.

[djarumdudley]

seeing how the last word is with me, i must commend you on your observational skills.

[schmenke]

I question the authenticity of your LW.

[Donney]

Please do, while I enjoy a cup of wine with the LW.

[Rollo]

Cup? Luxury!

We never had a cup. The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth. :D

[LeonBrooke]

Yeah, well the best we could manage was to dig a hole in the mud floor of our hovel to use as a trough ;)

[DonnieDarco]

You...............peasants :D

[stevie_gerrard]

how dare ye call me a peasant, look whos talking :p :

[LeonBrooke]

You...............peasants :D

Being a snob, eh Donnie? I bet you had the finest crystal as a baby :D and you never let the servants forget that you were ordering them around :D

[DonnieDarco]

Damn straight, I live in Winchester and anyone will tell you we is extremely posh around these 'ere parts :D

[MrJan]

I got called posh once because I use posh words like "unexpected" and "fraud" never really thought of those as particularly upper class words but then I don't associate enough with riff raff to know what the words on the street are.

[CarlMetro]

Winchester posh? Are you sure? :erm:

[Rollo]

The things Winchester is famous for are a cathedral, rifles and cigarettes. They're all dead posh like innit eh?
Ms Darco gives me the impression of being as posh as Clarrie Grundy :)

[MrJan]

And the pump action shot gun used in bullet, probably made by Ms Darco herself in the famous Winchester sweat shops ;) :p : D

[LeonBrooke]

There's no arms manufacturing where I live... :D

[Rollo]

Morningside 4 life?

I was once in your country and met a Maori guy who told me about the rich history and culture of his people, and then taught me a traditional song. If goes a bit like this:

Oh guve mi fufty sux buts ef fush end chups,
I hivunt sud thet sunce nineteen-suxty-sux,
Ut's u but rich ef you kuss mi an thu lups,
Uf you do thut ut well guve mi thu shuts,

Ah-min. :D

[djarumdudley]

sounds more like the song i learned to refrain on the 17th of March,

[DonnieDarco]

And the pump action shot gun used in bullet, probably made by Ms Darco herself in the famous Winchester sweat shops ;) :p : D

I don't like to brag :D

[Donney]

:wave:

[fly_ac]

LW :wave:

[schmenke]

The LW sends its regards.

[DonnieDarco]

Hello :D

[CarlMetro]

:wave:

[LeonBrooke]

Morningside 4 life?

I was once in your country and met a Maori guy who told me about the rich history and culture of his people, and then taught me a traditional song. If goes a bit like this:

Oh guve mi fufty sux buts ef fush end chups,
I hivunt sud thet sunce nineteen-suxty-sux,
Ut's u but rich ef you kuss mi an thu lups,
Uf you do thut ut well guve mi thu shuts,

Ah-min. :D

:erm: the people around me talk like that but I don't! :eek: I have a nice accent :D

[stevie_gerrard]

i love the welsh accent! :D i have a lecturer whos welsh and his voice is fantastic :p :

[LeonBrooke]

I like the Scottish accent. And some regional English ones. But the New Zealand accent is awful.

[Mp3 Astra]

Boo!

[LeonBrooke]

Where's the pink blobby creature!?

[CarlMetro]

The what?

[DonnieDarco]

You mean.............Mr Blobby? He's dead :D

[Rollo]

What's red and blobby? A red blob.
What's pink and blobby? A red blob that's been left in the sun too long :D

[LeonBrooke]

You mean.............Mr Blobby? He's dead :D

He's dead? Since when?

And I was thinking of another pink blobby creature - one that eventually cuts the world in half and kills everyone in it.

[djarumdudley]

is this a creature spawned from the river of slime in Ghostbusters II?

[Donney]

Great movie I'm sure.

[CarlMetro]

Not as great as the LW though :D

[djarumdudley]

my sequel is even better!

[CarlMetro]

But there is no sequel :confused:

[Donney]

The LW is one and mine.

[CarlMetro]

Nope, wrong again

[LeonBrooke]

He may be wrong, but I'm right when I say it's mine :D

[CarlMetro]

Nope, you're wrong too :D

[LeonBrooke]

I'm sitting right under the wireless hotspot at the computer lab, therefore I can't be wrong :D

[CarlMetro]

You couldn't be more wrong if you were sitting on the wrong side of your bum, in the wrong trousers, on the wrong bus going the wrong way on the wrong day in Wrongtown ;)

[LeonBrooke]

Very creative, Carl :up: but I'm writing about the action of a statin, and I'm getting all that right, and I'm right about the LW too :p :

[CarlMetro]

Well I guess you're using up all your rightness with your studies 'cos you certainly ain't right about the LW :p :

[LeonBrooke]

Hmmm... which is more important, study or the LW...? :D

[CarlMetro]

Too late for me to study so I guess the LW, for me anyway :D

[LeonBrooke]

Youth and strength beats age any day :p :

[LeonBrooke]

Youth and strength beats age any day :p :

[schmenke]

You couldn't be more wrong if you were sitting on the wrong side of your bum, in the wrong trousers, on the wrong bus going the wrong way on the wrong day in Wrongtown ;)

Sounds like my daily morning commute... :mark:

[LeonBrooke]

Hi everyone

I'm hear to say sorry for the accidental double post that I didn't notice until it was too late, and to take the LW back to its rightful home, the computer lab at my university :p :

[schmenke]

That's not where the LW wants to be...

[stevie_gerrard]

no it wants to be with me :D

[CarlMetro]

I doubt that very much :p :

[fly_ac]

The LW is visiting me. :D

[Donney]

The LW was visiting you.

[LeonBrooke]

The LW wants to visit me, where I'll treat it with respect, tolerance and non-judgementalism :p :

[fly_ac]

Yes, the LW want's to visit you, but it is visiting me. :cheese:

[schmenke]

Not any more. It's back home with me :D

[fly_ac]

Boy oh Boy, that LW is quick, it's back with me. :D

[CarlMetro]

Visiting time is over, it's now back home where it belongs :D

[stevie_gerrard]

yeh at my place :p :

[CarlMetro]

But you're in the pub :D

[Mp3 Astra]

I'm in the LW

[djarumdudley]

so you've managed to become inside the last word, talk about abstraction.

[Mp3 Astra]

I mean the LW zone. Basically I can never lose the LW spiritually

[CarlMetro]

No, just literally :p :

[fly_ac]

.....like this. :D

[DonnieDarco]

Like what? :D

[Mp3 Astra]

That!

[CarlMetro]

What's that?

[DonnieDarco]

This?

[CarlMetro]

No, not that :rolleyes: That

[schmenke]

I like green eggs and ham.

[Mp3 Astra]

I think a certain cat wearing head gear doesn't

[stevie_gerrard]

i like all things including the LW

[DonnieDarco]

Is today your day Stevie? :D

[Rollo]

It's a lovely day today, and whatever you've got to do,
The Last Word will not be doing it with you.

Why?

Because I am awesome! :D

[Mp3 Astra]

Bumface, meet the bumface, he's the greatest LW stealer in his-to-ry!!!
Sorry, just a little excited

[Donney]

Pleased to meet you, but the LW is not with you at the moment.

[CarlMetro]

.........because it's here with me :wave:

[DonnieDarco]

Is it though???? :D

[CarlMetro]

Yep :D

[DonnieDarco]

Are you sure? :D

[Captain VXR]

Are you absolutly sure :p

[DonnieDarco]

No, he isn't :D

[Donney]

He is wrong, actually.

[Mp3 Astra]

Birthday LW!

[Captain VXR]

Says Hi

[LeonBrooke]

Wishes all happy birthdays :D

[CarlMetro]

but it's not my birthday :confused:

[LeonBrooke]

The LW fears it will forget your birthday so wants to get in now :p :

It will, of course, remember mine :p :

[CarlMetro]

It's never forgotten it yet, why should it now?

[LeonBrooke]

I'm afraid it doesn't want to be friends with you any more, it has me now :D

But it doesn't want to be rude to you, you see :p :

[CarlMetro]

;(

[djarumdudley]

my last word seeing as you've vacated it by using an emoticon.

[stevie_gerrard]

now its mine :D

[djarumdudley]

no longer!

[LeonBrooke]

Maybe I should report all you kidnappers to the police... :D

[djarumdudley]

and what's your alibi going to be?

[LeonBrooke]

That the LW wants to be with me, that it wants me as its protector, and that you all are just kidnappers, stealing it away from where it wants to be :D

[Rollo]

Wants you as a protector? Wants you as a protector?

But you live in a country where the Prime Minister is a lady and half the population are related to sheep... which means that New Zealand is the new Wales :eek:

[djarumdudley]

apparently the last word has no need for you as a protector either.

[DonnieDarco]

Enough of this squabbling! I'm 'aving it :D

[djarumdudley]

the last word is not a fan of contractions, therefore it shall revert back to me.

[Donney]

Enough of the LW for you.

[DonnieDarco]

I agree with Donney :D

[schmenke]

Fear not! The LW is safe and sound in its rightful place... :D

[fly_ac]

.........yeh with me. :cheese:

[Captain VXR]

'Tis mine now :D

[djarumdudley]

appears you're mistaken.

[CarlMetro]

As are you :p :

Besides, I need it to massage my forehaed because I've had a very tiring first day in my new job :\

Can you believe they actually want me to do work? They didn't mention that at the interviews :(

[Captain VXR]

As are you :p :

Besides, I need it to massage my forehaed because I've had a very tiring first day in my new job :\

Can you believe they actually want me to do work? They didn't mention that at the interviews :(


appears you're mistaken.

Both of you are mistaken :D :p

[stevie_gerrard]

all of you are mistaken apart from me :D

[CarlMetro]

Another one who is regularly wrong :p :

[LotusElise]

I have captured the LW!!!!!!!

[CarlMetro]

Don't be silly :\

[schmenke]

Get back to work Carl. You needn't bother yourself with the LW as it has returned home to me.

[CarlMetro]

Back to work? It's 10.30pm. I might be dedicated but not that dedicated :\

[LeonBrooke]

Be glad you're not a midwife. You'd be on call 24/7, and there'd be no escaping it ;)

[fly_ac]

Like the LW on call 24/7... :D

[LotusElise]

The LW which is now residing in my kitchen cupboard!
(Don't worry, I'm keeping it well fed.)

[Donney]

The LW is mine if you need it drop a me a PM because it won't answer your calls. :p :

[schmenke]

The LW just sent me the following txt message:

Hlp! BB holdng me hostge! Pls shmke, come rescu me!

Cue theme to Mission Impossible... (Now where did I put my balaclava...?)

[fly_ac]

Mission Impossible....your right!....because I have the LW. :D

[Captain VXR]

Not anymore :p

[DonnieDarco]

My last word :D

[schmenke]

Nope. Schmenke to the rescue!

(this balaclave is itchy...)

[Donney]

You all have missed, because it is here with my laughing at your efforts while I write. :p :

[djarumdudley]

the last word has had enough of your writing.

[Donney]

Right now is reading.

[DonnieDarco]

Reading more of my great works? :D

[CarlMetro]

YOINK!

[Captain VXR]

Excellant

[stevie_gerrard]

no yoinking on this site please :p :

[Rollo]

I think that all women should be placed on a pedastal... of course then it's also easier to look up their skirts :D

Um... I just realised that I posted this in the wrong thread...

Yay!

[LeonBrooke]

I think the LW would like to join me and help me with my assignments, don't you? :D

[djarumdudley]

believe the last word would prefer to join me for dinner as it's rather late to be working.

[LeonBrooke]

I'll make sure to ask it all about the food you had :D

[fly_ac]

The LW is having brunch with me. :cheese:

[Donney]

I'll take the LW in case you eat it.

[LotusElise]

I'm just minding the LW for you while you're on the phone!
(Runs off sniggering)

[fly_ac]

I'll have the LW now.... :D

[Captain VXR]

YOINK, not any more :D

[Donney]

I have it.

[Captain VXR]

LIAR :p

[djarumdudley]

not anymore!

[schmenke]

I'll finally put an end to all this bickering and take the LW.

There!

Dismissed.

[LeonBrooke]

I think it's best if the LW comes and stays with me for a while, all this arguing over it has left it quite distressed :p :

[LotusElise]

It can't come and stay and stay with you, it'll get jetlag. Better for it to stay with me.

[DonnieDarco]

My LW

[LeonBrooke]

It can't come and stay and stay with you, it'll get jetlag. Better for it to stay with me.

I think you have it there Lotus :D

If the LW comes here it will get jet lag, but if it stays here, and does not return to the UK, it will never get jet lag again :)

There is something wrong with my keyboard... :confused:

[Captain VXR]

Ha, it now has jet lag :p

[LeonBrooke]

...and it's you're fault... :D

[stevie_gerrard]

i think you will find its spelt your :p :

[Rollo]

Thanks to the miracle of 'tinterwebs, one can now post at any time at all; thus jet lag should not be an issue.
Having said this there may be a few people by the sounds of things still trying to access the web by post. Newsflash: Bulletin Boards don't have to be covered in paper anymore.

It's a little known fact (and quite possibly untrue so we'll say alledgedly) that The Great Fire of London of 1666 was actually caused by an electrical fault in a router, which caused a stack of printed reports to catch fire.

I was there I ought to know :D

[CarlMetro]

11.20pm is not a good time to procure your first LW of the day ;(

[LeonBrooke]

i think you will find its spelt your :p :

****, you're right... I'm usually so careful to get my grammar correct... how could I have slipped up? I know, it was my despair at Captain VXR having taken the LW from me :p :

[CarlMetro]

God only knows how bad your next one will be then :p :

[LeonBrooke]

I'm inkohearint with rage at you're blaytante thepht and kidknapping of the pour, inosent LW. How cood yoo, yoo crool person! :D

Interpret that!

[CarlMetro]

Sorry, having trouble with your accent, could you type a little slower :D

[LeonBrooke]

I'm not the one with the accent, it's all the rest of you dolphins ;)

[CarlMetro]

Nah, wrong coast, I'm a 49rs fan ;)

[LeonBrooke]

Aren't you supposed to become rabid, foaming at the mouth at the suggestion that you support the wrong team?? :D

[CarlMetro]

In some sports it would be licence enough to hunt you down and and hog roast you over an open fire, but NFL seems to be a little weak when it comes to die-hard supporters.

[LeonBrooke]

Oh, good to hear... I'm safe... :D

Believe it or not I'm doing some assignments right now.