Your Funny Stories

[steveaki13]

I was bored and so I want to know some funny incidents or bizzare things that have happened to you.

It can be small and silly or large and bizzare.

[steveaki13]

I'll start with a quick story of something that happened to me and my parents when I was 15 and on holiday in Mallorca in 2002.

We were in a hotel and sitting on the balcony enjoying the cool night air and the view. When we went to go inside about 11pm, we found the door had gone onto its latch and we were locked on the balcony. After a while of trying to get the door open we had to look around for some help.

One of the people from the next balcony came out and we called for help, sadly because of distance between balconies we had to speak quite loud and so no chance of keeping it quiet. After telling them what had happened, they reported it to the management and about 4 Spanish workers came and unlocked our room and the balcony door.

Very embarrassing as the 3 people of the next balcony were watching as 4 hotel workers opened our door and came onto the balcony.

From then on we wedged the door open, and it was only the second night so we still had a week to feel embarrassed.

[gadjo_dilo]

When I started to work here the black market was flourishing in the institution. Different guys selling everything from clothes, shoes, cosmetics, chocolates, gold to underwear were wandering from office to office. And there was an old coworker, madame Lola, who did such activities herself. One day she brought a lot of dressing gowns from her niece's store who wanted to finish the stock. As usual all the women on our floor + others from other departments came to our office to see the merchandise.The dressing gowns had the same cut but the model was available in 4 colours in different sizes. At one moment the door opened and our secretary of state was looking at this hallucinating picture: about 30 women of different shapes and ages were trying on the same model of dressing gown but in 4 colours. His reaction was What the hell are you doing here? Then turned around closed the door and left.
Then the same Lolita decided one day that my hair needed to be shortened and offered her services. We put some papers on the floor and she began to cut when a girl entered in a hurry and said that the same secretary of state is in our department. So we hurried to clean the floor but forgot completely that only half of my head was adjusted and imagine the guy's reaction when he saw me. He was probably the only SS who ever bothered to come on our floor.

[Rudy Tamasz]

I had a couple of locked door stories in my life. When I did my graduate studies, I shared the apartment with a guy from Croatia. At some point when we were staying inside, we discovered that the lock had jammed and wouldn't open. That was before cell phones and we had no connection to the outer world. We had to wait till the evening when the owner came back home. He lived on the same floor and when we figured he was at his place we started yelling like mad: "Mister Kis! Please come open the door." Luckily he came and set us free. That yelling was very embarrassing but funny.

The other time I came back from a business trip. The trip was difficult with security service agents following and harassing us. I was home at 6 pm. It was raining outside and I badly needed a toilet. The lock jammed and wouldn't open. First I bent the key trying to open it, then crossed the whole neighborhood in search of a key repair shop, found it, then bent the key again, all that badly needing to go to the toilet, I remind you. Then I called the guy who had his business opening doors in emergency cases. He opened it in about one minute, asking no documents from me and only charging me about $10. He took the money, grinned, gave me a wink and said: "So, she replaced the lock, eh?"

[gadjo_dilo]

Rudy?!!!? Couldn't you *** round the corner? :confused:

[Rudy Tamasz]

Rudy?!!!? Couldn't you *** round the corner? :confused:

I could *** round the corner, but ###ing would be more difficult, and it was ### that I wanted, not ***.

BTW, my friend and I were detained by police once for ***ing in a public place (a construction site, actually). So this one might get tricky, too.

[gadjo_dilo]

and it was ### that I wanted, not ***.

One of my cousins who has a house in the countryside use to have such needs when we wander through the area. Once she found a very "quiet" place and said she'll go there and I was "but it's a street, what if somebody will come?" and she said I'll risk it. No sooner she started I saw a carriage coming with " 2 horse high speed". I don't know how she could end and wipe so quickly....
Then we went to a monastery and she said she badly needs a toilet and can't wait till the monastery. She did it in a bush and I noticed that it was in front of a institution and if somebody were at the window could see her.

But the best with her was when we were at the seaside and the houses in 2 Mai had latrinas outside. She was like let's do it here in the flowers cos it's too far till the end of the yard. And when we were :::::: some guy who also stayed in that house just passed.

[gadjo_dilo]

When I have time I'll come with a good one from an airport.

[steveaki13]

One of my cousins who has a house in the countryside use to have such needs when we wander through the area. Once she found a very "quiet" place and said she'll go there and I was "but it's a street, what if somebody will come?" and she said I'll risk it. No sooner she started I saw a carriage coming with " 2 horse high speed". I don't know how she could end and wipe so quickly....
Then we went to a monastery and she said she badly needs a toilet and can't wait till the monastery. She did it in a bush and I noticed that it was in front of a institution and if somebody were at the window could see her.

But the best with her was when we were at the seaside and the houses in 2 Mai had latrinas outside. She was like let's do it here in the flowers cos it's too far till the end of the yard. And when we were :::::: some guy who also stayed in that house just passed.

What lovely stories :p

[gadjo_dilo]

Wait for the airport one. :p

[Rudy Tamasz]

What a colorful person your cousin is!

We once were in my wife's home town deep in provincial Russia. I took my son for a horse ride in the downtown park. So he's riding slowly and quietly and then the horse unloads her stuff on the pavement. Okay, no big deal, we move on and the next thing I notice the stuff is no longer there. I was like, wow, how fast they clean streets here! And I should mention that we Belarusians always take pride in how clean our cities are and poke fun at Russians for living in dirt. And I'm amazed that a provincial Russian town is being cleaned so fast. But then, I notice two elderly ladies packing that thing in a plastic bag, obviously to use it as a fertilizer for their flowers or vegetables...

Well, this thread took a specific twist...

[donKey jote]

By no means the crappiest of threads though :andrea:

[gadjo_dilo]

:devil:

[Rudy Tamasz]

Wait for the airport one. :p

I'm waiting. ;)

[gadjo_dilo]

It takes time to type and I'm at work. Having to say it in English is also difficult cos I have a limited vocabulary. But it's really funny ( I think....)

[gadjo_dilo]

Well, I was about 12 yo and it was Easter. That year, for a reason I don’t get, the country was invaded by greeks who came to celebrate here. A lot of my relatives had come, some bringing their friends too and our home was full of them. It was a bit dangerous because in the communist period it was forbidden to host foreigners and they all had expensive cars – it was impossible to don’t notice them and I have a police station on the corner. So in my aprtment we had 8 persons ( + other 8 at my uncle’s at the next floor ). We had somehow to get rid of them from time to time. My dad had to go to work, my mum had to cook easter dinner for these army so I was in charge with showing them the city. Now Book a Rest is an ugly city and you can see the main tagets in a few hours so I thought it would be nice to show them the airport. On that time the security was rather rudimentary but still we had to be checked. So me + 2 ladies entered a cabin for women and the four guys +2 little boys went to the men’s cabin. After a few seconds I heared an officer from security shouting and all the alarms in the airport were on. When we got out we saw the officer scared with a pistol in his hand and my greek companions being held by other „blue eyed guys” and they couldn’t understand what was going on. The officer was shouting „a pistol, they have a pistol”. Then one of the greek ladies opened her bag and candidly showed off another gun. Now the officers turned mental and one of them went out and shoot in the air. Then they realized the pistols were the boys toys for Easter evening and they were loaded with fireworks. Everybody laughed but it was kinda embarassing to have all eyes on us and be considered terrorist. Mind you, on those times nobody was wearing guns here and I suspect that even militia men hadn’t amunition in their guns.

[Tazio]

I have one (actually I have many but I won't share the x rated ones) and probably to everyone's surprise it involves getting sh*tfaced drunk. A close friend of mine invited me and my gurl to go to a dance out in the country (east county S,D) at a park/ranch. I was already pretty well lubed, and when we got there to my delight the bar was serving Tequila, and tap beer all free with admission. I drank myself stupid, danced the evening away and blacked out. We were probably also smoking motta the whole thing is a bit of a fog to me, but I can't imagine that we weren't given the time, about 1976, and the company, my with best friend, my future wife, and his wife. At the time this guy had a 1952 Dodge sedan and this thing was a boat, I mean really caverness inside. On the way home I was passed out in the back seat of the car, and my friend had to apply the brakes suddenly, apparently I slid onto the floor of the car between the front and back seats, trapping my girlfriend underneath me. I was completely blotto, and apparently it took both my friend and his wife some time to free my girlfriend who was trapped underneath me. And to think that gurl still married me, but to his day she is still pissed off about that incident. :laugh:

I have a good one involving peeing that I will share at some future time ;)

[gadjo_dilo]

. And to think that gurl still married me
As if anybody could have resisted your charms.......:angel:

[steveaki13]

I could :devil:

[gadjo_dilo]

Now to continue the Greek episode and to relate to Taz's story:
My brother who's 8 years older than me always had a deep sleep. When he sleeps it's impossible to wake him up, if he wakes up he's like a noctambule. One day when I was a kid and he was already at uni, a relative from Greece asked us to host an old lady who had some business at their embassy here. The oldie was an OK person, and brought a few presents for me and my bro. When the night came she was offered my brother room who was supposed to sleep on a couch in my room. I woke up overnight and noticed that the door between my room and my bro's was open (my mum let a low light in his room) but didn't care and tried to sleep again. Then I heared a terrible snoring from his room and I wondered how a woman can snore so loud. After a few seconds I realized the snoring sounded familiar ( my bro terrorized me every night with that noise even if the door between our rooms was shut). So I got up and looked to the couch, my bro wasn't there then I went to another door of that room that has glassed windows and saw my bro sleeping alongside the Greek lady. I went to my parents to say that G is sleeping with the Greek and my poor mum had to ask him about 15 min to leave the bed. He probably woke up, entered that room to go to the toilet and when he came back he layed on his bed cos that's what he did every night. Next morning my mum apologized to the lady who didn't seem to be bothered and said I was thinking it's you and told him to stay comfortable.:eek:
I still tease my brother about "sleeping" with the Greek and he'll probably kill me knowing I posted this. :devil:

To be continued with another brother-oldies funny strange story....

[gadjo_dilo]

I could :devil:
Loser! :p

[Tazio]

Gadji maybe your bro did more than just sleep with the Greek Cougar. :dozey: :angel:

[gadjo_dilo]

:eek:
My aunt spent some time talking to the lady and understood she had some fishy activity in Greece ( some sort of Madame ). But they could at least close the door.:s

[Tazio]

:stareup: :sailor:

[Rudy Tamasz]

There was a teacher in my son's kinder-garden. She was about 25 years old, tall, skinny, with almond shaped eyes. Not really experienced, but kids loved her. Unlike her older colleagues she just played with them and wasn't tough on them. My boy was about 4 at that time. It wasn't long before my wife and I started cracking jokes about our son's girlfriend. One day he came home and mentioned that he was at her place. That made our day. We knew it was just a tall tale of a sort that kids like (they fly to the Moon, drive racecars etc.). But it gave us material for a new set of mean jokes. "He's a real macho! There's no stopping him!"

[gadjo_dilo]

Lol Rudy, just remember of my own childhood. I grew up greek style in a house full of relatives and I was the youngest so a sort of everybody’s toy. When I was 4or 5, my other girl cousins were already in their twenties. We have a custom here that men kiss women’s hand when they met. So a lot of young men who were coming to their brother kissed their hands. Then those boys tried to be nice with the little one ( me!) but I was sad and unfriendly and didn't say a word. When I was asked why I behave like that I said it’s because they didn’t kiss my hand too. So they started to take me into account and kissed the hand of the 4 yo. Then my cousins learnt me a song and I sang it when all these guests came. At that time I didn’t realize what I was saying but now we have a laugh whenever we remember that. It was like „Angelica, your Aphrodite body drives me crazy, your eyes are full of dreams, dreams of paradise Angelica, your snake like body charmed me again, etc. “
Then my cousins wanted to dye their hair red and tried the colour on my hair. The rest of the family didn’t know what they did and worried that my hair is turning red.
Etc. etc.
I miss those years when we were poor but happy and united.

[D-Type]

I was doing a walkover survey at an unmanned railway station and was about 300m up the line as no trains were scheduled. My lunchtime hamburger decided it was in a hurry to come through and I had to do a###, so I squatted down where I was. Of course a train came along and I was treated to the 10 tunes a driver can play on the hooter!

[gadjo_dilo]

So let's continue my brother's adventures with the old ladies. After his divorce he came to live for a few months in our old house. His sleep was still very deep and my poor mum had to fight with him every morning to wake up and send him to work. From time to time she gave up and let him sleep. So did she one morning when it was her birthday and she invited her group of neighbour friends for a small tratation. The oldies filled the living room (they were about 9 ladies) and had a good time drinking coffee and liqueors and eating cookies. All of a sudden my brother came into the room with his eyes still glued to sleep and ruffled hair. He ignored the guests and without saying hello just made his way to the bathroom with the most grumpy air possible. Now the problem was that he was wearing only his underpants and the oldies were gobsmacked. The embarrassment continued after a few minutes when he left the bath and went to his bedroom in the same way. Later when he woke up he said he didn't remember anything but the big question is how could he manage to slip himself through a very narrow space between a chair and a massive piece of furniture. Usually when somebody sits on that chair at the table, he had to stand up to permit passing.

[gadjo_dilo]

When I was very young I used to have a very long hair. One of my best friends who lived on my street was the kind of girl with golden hands and great ideas. She was talented in doing haircuts, making clothes, painting, knitting, etc. She was trying all her ideas of haircuts on her friends heads and was always angry cos I was stubborn and never gave up my locks. One day she called up and said she found a new style of coiffure and needed a long hair to try it. So she used my hair for a very complicated network of braids. The result was interesting but didn't became me, I had an austher figure ', kinda German fraulein-governess. Anyway I thought I should go like this to the university and I did. Next morning I had an exam and my friend said that I could sleep with those braids cos they're very tight and nothing's gonna happen. Nothing happened indeed but I decided I don't like how I look ( did I ever? :p) and started to undo the braids. I was so dumb (was I ever otherwise? :confused: ). to don't think that those tight braids would frizz and ruffle my hair.. Not only it did but the left where the braid was thinner it kinda stayed like a normally curly hair but on the right the hair had a third volume in comparison with the rest and I looked like an infuriated cat. It was too late to wash my hair and I couldn't miss the exam so I tried to wet it but the result was even worse. So I finished by gathering it on my back in a tail but it still looked strange. The exam went well but I felt very ashamed esp because on that time our proffesors were very strict about our appearance.

[donKey jote]

kinda German fraulein-governess
:eek: http://i46.tinypic.com/hv9ul3.gif :kiss: :andrea:

[Tazio]

kinda German fraulein-governess http://i01.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v0/1260214047/free-shipping-German-Beer-font-b-Girl-b-font-Costume-Fraulein-font-b-Dirndl-b-font.jpg

:love: :sailor: :angel:

[gadjo_dilo]

Kinda German fraulein governess



www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFPtc1P-9hA

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbKhj18HtN8

:s