Interview the Person Above

[Brown, Jon Brow]

How far off 'a hole in one' were you last week?


It's thicker at the base than it is at the tip

[CarlMetro]

How would you describe a mountain?

Champion.

[schmenke]

What's your status in the professional elbow-licking association?

Um, I'll have to think about it.

[Donney]

Do you want to challenge Carl at elbow licking?

It's right there under the table.

[schmenke]

Have you seen the last word?

I used a spoon.

[CarlMetro]

So how are you picking up new supplies for Mp3 Astras collection?

All three days.

[Captain VXR]

Did you have fun at the heathrow protests?
Certainly

[schmenke]

Do you enjoy wearing ladies' knickers?

I'd rather give it a miss this time.

[CarlMetro]

Are you going to defend your elbow licking world title this year?

It was very nice.

[schmenke]

How did you enjoy licking the Captain's elbow?

I'll do better this time as I've been practicing.

[NoahsGirl]

How well do you think you'll do at next year's elbow licking competition?

Seriously big hair

[LeonBrooke]

So what do you aspire to?

I did, I tell you. I was there, I did do what I was asked, but it didn't have the result everyone was expecting.

[Captain VXR]

Did you lick schmenke's elbow?
Nope

[schmenke]

Would you like a suitcase full of cash?

No, no, and for the last time NO!

[CarlMetro]

Do you think you'll ever break 100 again?

Nearly every time

[schmenke]

Do you often play from the ladies' tees?

I buried it.

[Captain VXR]

What did you do with my spade? :mad:
Don't worry

[NoahsGirl]

What are you going to do about lack of funds for your BTCC and WTCC teams?

It was a spur of the moment thing

[Captain VXR]

Was that you in the cupboard with schmenke?

[NoahsGirl]

I think you need your eyes tested!

Who cares about that cat's name?

[Captain VXR]

what cat???
oh crap...

[CarlMetro]

Your favorite sandwich filling this week then?

No, not again

[schmenke]

Will you in the upcoming International Elbow Licking Competition?

Tempting, but I think I'll give it a miss.

[Captain VXR]

Would you like me to incinerate your man thongs?
Personally, yes

[schmenke]

Do you think Elbow-Licking should be allowed as an Olympic event?

I'd rather not; I sprained my wrist last time.

[CarlMetro]

You thinking of breaking 100 again then?

No, I actually have a whole weekend off.

[Captain VXR]

So you're having a day off work to elbow lick schmenke, carl?
too right

[schmenke]

So you enjoy wearing ladies' knikcers then?

No thanks, twice a day is more than sufficient.

[Captain VXR]

Aren't your diapers changed thrice daily?
not mine

[CarlMetro]

Anyone know who this LW belongs to?

Oh yes you will

[schmenke]

Do you think I'll ever break 100 again?

It's far too expensive.

[Captain VXR]

Would you like a penny sweet?
I like it

[schmenke]

What do you think of MP3Astra's collection?

I just bought a dozen.

[Captain VXR]

Do you want some pigeon eggs?
Sunny side up :)

[schmenke]

How do you like your pigeon eggs?

I just bought another dozen.

[Captain VXR]

So did you like the pigeon eggs?
:lips: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

[schmenke]

What do you think of MP3Astra's collection?

I'll hang on to it for a while longer.

[RaikkonenRules]

Do you need to go to the bathroom?

KFC

[schmenke]

What do you usually eat for breakfast?

No, it sounds like too much work.

[RaikkonenRules]

Would you like to rub my feet?

No way that sucks

[Mp3 Astra]

Do you want this new Dyson?

YA RLY
http://netninja.com/images/lj/ya_rly.jpg

[schmenke]

Sure, if you're buying.

Would you like to taste my sausage?

[Mp3 Astra]

*I think you used the wrong thread*


Sure, if you're buying.



Would you like some Ferrari documents fresh out of the factory?

Til death do us part, my friend.

[RaikkonenRules]

How long are you planning on using this forum?

Excellent.

[Mp3 Astra]

In one word, how would you describe the world economy so far this year?


Suckling

[schmenke]

What's your first childhood memory?

It was too warm.

[slinkster]

How did you burn yourself?

It's all a bit of a blur.

[NoahsGirl]

Why didn't you enjoy the Oasis concert?

I need to make it first

[CarlMetro]

So when can we start spending all your money?

It was, but not this year yet.

[schmenke]

Wasn't your toilet cleaned recently?

Perahps some other time.

[NoahsGirl]

Will you clean Carl's toilet?

A big major part

[CarlMetro]

What do you expect to find in my toilet?

Now that was a good one

[schmenke]

Do you remember the time NG farted?

I hope to try it again some day!

[dc10]

Did you have an accident?

I dozed off.

[schmenke]

Why'd you take so long in the loo?

No thanks, one is plenty.

[NoahsGirl]

Do you want to bed those two blonds?

Small children and coffee

[CarlMetro]

So a normal breakfast for you is what?

two burps at I was alright

[schmenke]

How did you manage to choke down MP3 Astra's collection?

It didn't work out quite the way I had hoped.

[NoahsGirl]

So did you bed those two blondes?

Hit it here, there and everywhere

[schmenke]

What would you like me to do with your cat?

It was very uncomfortable.

[Donney]

Could you describe what you did to the cat?

No!, Not there...

[dwf1]

is this where you put the cat????

yes thats correct

[schmenke]

So you enjoy wearing ladies' knickers?

No thanks, I've had enough.

[NoahsGirl]

Would you like to eat more cat?

Phwoar, not half!

[Captain VXR]

Would you like some tickets to the BTCC finals?
No way

[schmenke]

Would you like some tickets to the BTCC finals?

Next week.

[NoahsGirl]

When can I get the BTCC tickets?

Yellow and lined

[schmenke]

What colour are the BTCC tickets?

I wouldn't hesitate!

[NoahsGirl]

What would you do if you were offered a small part in a porno?

Mark of Cain

[mate]

What is your favourite motorsports events?

enjoy myself

[schmenke]

What do you do in the loo so often?

Last week.

[NoahsGirl]

When did you last enjoy yourself?

No place like home

[schmenke]

Where's your favourite place to poo?

Oh no, I don't think I could manage it again.

[slinkster]

Fancy ruling the world for a day?

320 times.

[Captain VXR]

How many times a day are you an epic fail?
I wish it could be true

[slinkster]

I heard you were a kind, reasonable sort of a guy...?

What a waste of time.

[Captain VXR]

Would you like to see Andy Priaulx be knighted?
The European Drift Championship

[schmenke]

What would you consider the most useless form of motorsport?

One is plenty, thank you.

[Captain VXR]

Would you like two winning lottery tickets?
The best way is slideways

[schmenke]

How do you like to poo?

Not as often as I would like to.

[NoahsGirl]

How often have your kissed a maple leaf?

It's good to be back

[Captain VXR]

How do you enjoy being on bail?
Max Mosley

[NoahsGirl]

Who is your role model?

The couch goes there

[schmenke]

Why did you remove the toilet from the loo?

I prefer them bouncey.

[CarlMetro]

how do you like you eggs?

Nah, I've tried that before

[emporer_k]

Would you like to use your brain next time?

only smarties have the answer

[Brown, Jon Brow]

I need a cure for cancer?

It fell off

[schmenke]

What happened to your mojo?

Sorry, I can't help you.

[slinkster]

I need to find a really intelligent guy...

It's in my piggy bank.

[schmenke]

Where did you put the LW?

I'm going to return it.

[Mp3 Astra]

What are you going to do with the Duck Island you paid for using taxpayers' money?

Once in a blue moon.

[emporer_k]

Do you ever pretend to be normal?

Bob the talking banana told me to do it.

[Captain VXR]

So what was your excuse in court about the racist beatings you dished out?


Mazda RX7 FD3S

[slinkster]

What would be your car of choice to run over your worst enemy?

I really really really do.

[Alexamateo]

Do you want kids someday?

Azaleas and Gardenias.

[slinkster]

What are you currently wearing?

I can't possibly answer that without scaring you.

[Alexamateo]

What happened to your last boyfriend?

These people are driving me crazy!

[NoahsGirl]

How do you like the people on the Word Games forum?

3 small ones and a large one

[CarlMetro]

Give a brief description of your nipples?

Not for a long time

[schmenke]

Have you had a bowel movement lately?

I lit a match to it.

[CarlMetro]

Can I see your last golf score card?

Less than 100 regularly

[schmenke]

How many times a day do you typically have a bowel movement?

100 would be ideal.

[NoahsGirl]

How many nipples do you think a woman should have?

It was purple and sticky

[emporer_k]

What is your purple stick like?


18 pies, 507 monkeys, 44 toilets and a stapler.

[CarlMetro]

What would be a good hangover curing breakfast?

Only on certain Sunday's in July

[NoahsGirl]

when do you normally have bowl movements?

It was a blue arrow

[CarlMetro]

How did you face get like that?

Very much so

[schmenke]

Do you enjoy bowel movements?

Not nearly enough.

[emporer_k]

How much do you get paid?

It was dark

[schmenke]

What was your last bowel movement like?

Sounds like it's far too much effort.

[Captain VXR]

Will you ever stop being a douche?

I just love it http://www.driftworks.com/forum/images/smilies/ghey.gif

[schmenke]

Do you like to smell your own farts?

Only at night.

[Captain VXR]

Do you ever wear pink, sparkly spandex microskirts?

I love doing that, even if it makes me choke a lot.

[schmenke]

Do you like looking a pictures of me in pink, sparkly spandex microskirts?

It was unbearable.

[CarlMetro]

What was it like without me around?

I'm not supposed to but maybe just this one time

[Eki]

Would you like some cocaine?

If I ever get there.

[slinkster]

Can you see yourself being the motorsport forums wittiest member?

It makes me feel queasy every time.

[schmenke]

Do you like looking a pictures of me in pink, sparkly spandex microskirts?

It took a while but I finally managed.

[slinkster]

How long did it take you to get into your pink, sparkly spandex microskirts?

I would do anything for love... but I won't do that.

[Eki]

Would you give me £100?

I would do anything for money... but I won't do that.

[slinkster]

If I give you £100, will you take pictures of Schmenke in his favorite pink mini skirt please?

It goes all the way up to 11.

[Eki]

Does your elevator go all the way to the top floor?

Yes, that was rude.

[Captain VXR]

Do you think it was rude that Schmenke said you could only look?

I can handle much more than a footlong.

[CarlMetro]

what crosses your mind when you look at your pictures of Schmenke in his sparkly mini skirt?

Not on a Monday, perhaps Wednesday afternoon?

[Captain VXR]

Would you like to try on Schmenke's pink, sparkly spandex microskirt?

Yeehaw

[slinkster]

Er... do you like cowboys?

What colour socks are you wearing?

[schmenke]

What was your reaction when I said you could try on my pink, sparkly spandex microskirt?

Yes, I'm afraid I must.

[schmenke]

( ^ oops, Slinky posted ahead of me... )

[Eki]

Must you go on and on and on about your pink, sparkly spandex microskirt?

Delicate sound of thunder.

[Captain VXR]

What do your farts sound like?

1.0l Vauxhall Corsa with badly tinted windows and an unsilenced exhaust pipe.

[schmenke]

What car do you aspire to one day own?

It'll never work that way.

[CarlMetro]

have you tried pulling your skirt down over your head?

Why do you always have to be so negative?

[Eki]

Why do you always answer a question with a question?

I need about 3.50.

[schmenke]

How many Euros will it take to fix your outhouse?

No, I couldn't possibly manage it again.

[Captain VXR]

Would you like to eat a bar of chocolate?

That's impossible, it's far too small.

[schmenke]

Would you like to try on my pink, sparkly spandex microskirt?

It's supposed to look like that.

[CarlMetro]

You do know that your hair colur looks very similar to that skirt thingy you've been wearing?

12.25am

[schmenke]

What time was it when you finally left the 18th green?

99

[Captain VXR]

How many times have you been arrested for wearing THAT skirt?

Oh no.

[schmenke]

Can you please return my pink, sparkly spandex microskirt?

Well, if you in insist.

[CarlMetro]

Can we move on from this pink skirt thingy?

it was NOT me!

[slinkster]

You started it!

It worked last time I used it.

[Captain VXR]

How's your robotic replica of Nick Griffin going?

It was simply fabulous

[CarlMetro]

did you enjoy that fart?

Sunny day

[schmenke]

Why did you choose to wear a pink, sparkly spandex microskirt today?

No, it's far too cumbersome.

[slinkster]

Have you resolved the problems you were having fitting everything comfortably into that microskirt?

It tastes like chicken.

[Eki]

So you tasted the pink, sparkly spandex microskirt. What does it taste like?

Yes, it's getting old.

[steveaki13]

Your Dog appears to be leaking on the carpet?

I know I shouldn't have but I just couldn't help myself.

[CarlMetro]

so you decided to buy schmenkes pink sparkly spandex mini skirt then?

oh deary me

[schmenke]

What did your wife say when you walked in wearing a pink sparkly spandex mini skirt?

Let's discuss it later.

[steveaki13]

Why are you wearing that pink sparkly spandex mini skirt in a buisness meeting?

Thats not reall what I mean't

[Eki]

You mean there's something wrong with wearing a pink sparkly spandex mini skirt?

It's about time.

[slinkster]

Eki, Are you going to try on this pink sparkly spandex mini skirt thing you're all talking about...?

It's in my car.

[steveaki13]

Where is the pink sparkly spandex mini skirt Eki had last?

Its not that easy, trust me.

[Captain VXR]

Can you go spank a Hells Angel while wearing your favourite miniskirt?

YMCA

[steveaki13]

Whats your favorite song does dance to while wearing the pink sparkley, spandex mini skirt?

Because I just felt I had too.

[slinkster]

Why would you steal Eki's new Pink miniskirt?!

I really want to but I shouldn't...

[Eki]

Why won't you steal aki's new pink miniskirt?

No, but I know where it is.

[steveaki13]

Have you stolen my pink sparkley, spandex mini skirt?

I had to burn it.

[slinkster]

Where did all your hair go?

Only twice.

[Eki]

Have you ever wished people would stop talking about pink spandex miniskirts?

42

[steveaki13]

How many colourful spandex miniskirts do you own?

So badly that I crashed my car.

[slinkster]

How badly did you want to wear that miniskirt?

I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!

[steveaki13]

What do think of this dark grey mini skirt?

I burn't that mini skirt so know one else could have it.

[CarlMetro]

Why was schmenke crying?

Not very likely

[steveaki13]

Can you ever get a new mini skirt?

Thats none of your buisness.

[schmenke]

Why do you own so many miniskirts?

It's been a long time.

[steveaki13]

How long ago was it you wore anything besides a mini skirt?

OK, yes it is but I never used to wear one.

[CarlMetro]

do you think it's sensible to wear a coat when it's cold?

Thursday

[schmenke]

When do you next take a bath?

I've done it twice already.

[Eki]

Have you ever considered dressing a cow in a pink spandex miniskirt?

It won't let you down.

[schmenke]

Is you outhouse working now?

Only if you help me.

[slinkster]

Schmenke, will you help me?

9 inches.

[Eki]

If size does matter, how much is enough?


Nails, of course.

[slinkster]

Whats your favorite hand accessory?

A dinosaur.

[steveaki13]

How would you describe your wife/loved one?

56 times in one night

[Eki]

How often do you have to wake up and go to bathroom?

It's tragic.

[Captain VXR]

How's life in Finland?

99 Problems

[slinkster]

How many problems do you have in your life right now?

I'd like a new one.

[CarlMetro]

Your pink sparkly spandex miniskirt is looking a little worn out.

Only this weekend

[slinkster]

Can I borrow your sparkly spandex miniskirt?

Just me and a bottle of Jack Daniels.

[steveaki13]

Who's in your house now that your wearing this pink sparkly spandex miniskirt?

I can't tell you, but it did involve Sergio Perez.

[CarlMetro]

Where did you get your pink sparkly spandex miniskirt from?

Red Dwarf

[Eki]

What do your friends call you?

A pint of lager and a packet of crisps.

[CarlMetro]

Fancy a spot of breakfast?

Burping or farting probably

[steveaki13]

Whats the most sensible thing you've ever said?

Thats not Mine, but I'll take it.

[Captain VXR]

Is this your pink, sparkly, spandex microskirt?

Tinie Tempah

[CarlMetro]

who owned you pink sparkley spandex miniskirt before you?

Blue

[Captain VXR]

What's the colour of your spandex microskirt?

650.0329 MPH

[Eki]

What's the colour of your spandex microskirt?

650.0329 MPH
How many minutes per harlot does your spandex microskirt last?


And a bottle of rum.

[Captain VXR]

Would you drive after drinking three pints of lager, a jagerbomb and smoking a couple of spliffs?

Peshwari naan.

[CarlMetro]

I've heard you got some rather weird underpants? What are the one's you're wearing today made from?

Rioting and looting

[Eki]

What is your favourite pastime?


It was like that when I came here.

[Captain VXR]

Why are there loads of naked pics of Riebe and Roamy littered around your house?

Too early.

[CarlMetro]

why aren't you wearing your pink sparly spandex miniskirt?

pardon?

[schmenke]

How's your hearing been lately?

I probably should get it checked.

[slinkster]

I can see a loose thread on your pink, sparkly, spandex skirt!

I have it on camera.

[Captain VXR]

Have you got close up photos of the skirt?

Nice

[schmenke]

How do you find your farts smell?

It's far too much hassle.

[Captain VXR]

Would you swap your pink, sparkly, spandex miniskirt for a pair of jeans?

Ugh.

[Eki]

Would you swap your pink, sparkly, spandex miniskirt for a pair of jeans?

Ugh.

Would you like a group ugh, or just ugh?


Yeah, whatever.

[CarlMetro]

What was your reaction to being arrested for rioting?

Blue or White

[Captain VXR]

What's your loot gang's colours?

Tesco Value Basmati rice.

[Eki]

What's your loot gang's colours?

Tesco Value Basmati rice.

What did you loot?

I ain't bothered.

[Captain VXR]

What do you make of Riebe's plans to stay at your house for a while?

London

[CarlMetro]

where did you buy your pink sparkly spandex miniskirt from?

Star Wars

[Eki]

When the rioting and looting are over, what are you going to start next?

Parrot? What parrot?

[Captain VXR]

I hear you do unspeakable things to a certain avian species?

Skullet

[schmenke]

What word can you think of that rhymes with mullet?

I would need some help.

[555-04Q2]

Could you build a log cabin?

Hounded

[Eki]

What word can you think of that rhymes with grounded?

Link Rolodex skinny blurt

[steveaki13]

What did you say?

I thought you were bringing them.

[Captain VXR]

Wheres my Mountain Dew?

Fight the power!

[555-04Q2]

What did the London rioters shout during their protests?

9 Inches.

[schmenke]

How long is your nose hair?

9 1/2 inches.

[555-04Q2]

How long is your ar$e hair?

9 3/4 Inches.

[slinkster]

How far can you throw?

I love it when it's hot.

[555-04Q2]

How do you like you porridge?

New York.

[CarlMetro]

If you farted in London, where would we be safe from the smell?

2 miles, sometimes 3.

[slinkster]

What's the furthest you can drive from home without feeling homesick?

Yesterday at 3.30pm.

[schmenke]

When's the last time you had a bowel movement?

Perhaps next week.

[CarlMetro]

do you think I'll ever win at Mariocart?

Pink and sparkly

[Eki]

What are your favourite colours?

Fold

[schmenke]

Scrunch or fold?

I often have to do it twice.

[Captain VXR]

How many times a month do you have to trim your ar$e hair?

Nissan GTR

[CarlMetro]

What did you trade in to get you pink sparkly miniskirt?

Sometimes

[555-04Q2]

Do you date men?

Silently.

[slinkster]

What's your favorite way to fart?

Chocolate flavour.

[Eki]

How's your fart?

No way!

[CarlMetro]

would you sell me your pink sparkly spandex miniskirt?

I've seen better....

[steveaki13]

What do you think of my pink sparkly mini skirt?

It was once but its all changed since my near death experience.

[CarlMetro]

do your farts still smell of cheese?

three day weekends

[slinkster]

Do you have any pet hates?

Why the hell not.

[steveaki13]

Fancy going out sometime?

No, actually I think Slinkster couldn't resist going out with me.

[Captain VXR]

Are you some kind of stalker?

Imma firin mah lazars

[Eki]

What do you talk like?

One four the money, two for the show.

[Captain VXR]

Why did you pay £250 for a webcam link up with Vop?

[steveaki13]

Why so silent, Captain VXR?

Thats not really mine.

[CarlMetro]

what did you say to the policeman that caught you stealing schmenke's pink sparkly spandex miniskirt?

burping and farting

[Captain VXR]

How do you normally try to impress people at dinner parties?

Suriname

[steveaki13]

Where did you buy your mail order bride from?

Green and squishy

[Eki]

How do you like your bananas?

Bangers and mash

[CarlMetro]

what do the kids on the corner call you?

monsters

[Eki]

What do you call the kids on the corner?

I hate it

[555-04Q2]

What do you think of kids who do charity work for the poor?

Beat it!

[schmenke]

Can I borrow your pink sparkly spandex miniskirt?

Frankly, it's becoming tiresome.

[CarlMetro]

Are you fed up with rip off versions of your pink sparkly spandex miniskirt?

X-Factor

[555-04Q2]

What do you think is missing in your life?

Not a chance buddy!

[schmenke]

Do you think you'll ever wear anything other than that pink sparkly spandex miniskirt?

No, I prefer to do it alone.

[slinkster]

Do you wear your skirt in public these days?

When I was 18.