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View Full Version : Humpy Wheeler's Indy 500


call_me_andrew
2nd August 2009, 05:49
Pre race ceremonies would begin with a flaming school bus crashing into a wall of 16 flaming school busses stacked on top of each other. The Army Golden Knights then parachute in and proceed to blow up the flaming wreckage.

Miley Cyrus will sing The Star Spangled Banner.

The Jonas Brothers will perform God Bless America.

Beyonce will perform Taps, a capella.

The Janet Jackson will perform Back Home Again in Indiana.

And the lowest common denominator will be pleased.
ChaimWitz
2nd August 2009, 13:52
Humpy will put the carb back in Carb Day.

Green engines will come to The Speedway. They will be built by Menard's, sold by Menard's, painted green and badged as John Deere Indy Specials (as part of an amazing Memorial Day Sale promotion).

The new Spec Car will be the Front-Engined Super Thunder Roadster.

The Super Thunder Roadster will only be available at Menard's as part of the "$9,999.99 -- Anybody-Can-Race" spring super sale.

The Indy 500 will become the Indy 700.

The 700 Club will sponsor the pre-race activities.

Dale Jr. will enter the Indy 700 cuz he needs an easy win to get his career going again.

Toby Keith will write a hit song called "Bumpin' is Racin'" when Dale fails to qualify.

Taco Bell will be signed to a ten-year Speedway naming rights deal leading to the much more fan-friendly "Taco Bell Thunder Bowl".

Ed Carpenter will become the first 5-time winner of the Indy 700.
PA Rick
2nd August 2009, 19:59
Humpy will put the carb back in Carb Day.

Green engines will come to The Speedway. They will be built by Menard's, sold by Menard's, painted green and badged as John Deere Indy Specials (as part of an amazing Memorial Day Sale promotion).

The new Spec Car will be the Front-Engined Super Thunder Roadster.

The Super Thunder Roadster will only be available at Menard's as part of the "$9,999.99 -- Anybody-Can-Race" spring super sale.

.........

And, because they have a 3 point hitch, the Thunder Roadsters can be used in the off season (June -April) to plow and disk 75% faster than any other tractor.