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View Full Version : The Official 2009 Indy 500 Lollapalooza Awards



bzcam
27th April 2009, 19:01
This is the un-official 2009 Indy 500 Lollapalooza thread. Here we put our collective experience and group think together to predict and prognosticate many of the annually unpredicted (yet predictable) outcomes in the Indy 500 that have nothing to do with the winners circle. Here is my list of Lollapalooza categories and nominees. Any takers?

Driver most likely to crash out of the race first
Nominees

1. Milka Duno
2. Mike Conway
3. That unknown shirt tail relative Andretti guy..

Driver most likely to crash another driver out of the race
Nominees

1. Marco Andretti (trying to go high around someone)
2. Marco Andretti (trying to go low around someone)
3. Dan Wheldon (trying to go around Danica)

Driver most likely to run over someone in the pits
Nominees

1. Danica Patrick (and she won’t even say “I’m sorry”)
2. Milka Duno (won’t know she did it until after the race)
3. Mike Conway

Driver most likely to be the first one lapped
Nominees

1. Stanton Barrett (money trumps talent in the IRL)
2. Milka Duno (see #1. above)
3. Whoever drives the lone remaining G-Force Chassis

Highest qualifier to lowest finisher (who doesn’t crash)
Nominees

1. Ed Carpenter (flashes of brilliance, occasionally, sometimes)
2. Robert Doornbos (“when do I get to turn right?”)
3. Hideki Mutoh (why? Why?)

Highest finishing non-Big 2.25 finisher
Nominees

1. Graham Rahal (he’s only 19?)
2. Vitor Meira (put this guy in DP’s car and he’s a superstar)
3. Dan Wheldon

Highest woman finisher
Nominees

1. Danica Patrick (won’t win, will be someone else’s fault)
2. Sarah Fisher (won’t win, will be her fault and she’ll say so)
3. Milka Duno (won’t win race, but wins beauty contest before race)
4. Mike Conway (ok, but have you seen his picture at indycar.com?)

First woman out of the race
Nominees

1. Milka Duno (“marbles? Yes, I have marble in my kitchen”)
2. Sarah Fisher (shoestring budget will show in a 500 mile race)
3. Danica Patrick (won’t be her fault, no siree, not her, it will be Wheldon’s fault, or Briscoe, or Duno, or…)

Driver with the dumbest firesuit (hard to beat Marco’s Indiana Jones attire)
Nominees

1. Dan Wheldon (if having a sports drink bottle planted on your lips all during TV interviews counts)
2. Marco Andretti (proved he has no shame last year)

Highest finishing driver with a complicated, foreign sounding name
Nominees

1. Helio Castroneves (hello? Helio?)
2. Robert Doornbos (doornbos is Dutch for ‘one who processes cheese’)
3. Mario Moraes (more ayes? Less ayes? Who’s counting?)

Driver with the coolest name who won’t be at Indy
Nominees

1. Timo Glock (already declared the winner)
2. Scott Speed (now that’s a race car driver’s name, eh?)
3. Will Power (says it all)

Coolest looking vehicle on the track
Nominees

1. G-Force / Honda / Firestone
2. The Pace Car
3. That truck with blower thing they use to dry the track with

Most likely to go airborne
Nominees

1. Dario Franchitti (I think he’s earned his wings by now)
2. Marco Andretti (always a threat to create some excitement)
3. Paul Tracy (and, by God, he’ll do it on purpose)

So that’s the list. Nominations are still open and the nominating committee is still taking input on other categories. All we need is your feedback.
Our winners will receive VIP passes to the 2010 Champ Car World Series Grand Prix of Houston. Good Luck.

BZ

Alfa Fan
27th April 2009, 19:23
Will Power is racing at Indy!

drewdawg727
27th April 2009, 19:42
Very funny read...

bzcam
27th April 2009, 22:38
Will Power is racing at Indy!

Darn. So, who do we replace him with for cool name nomination?

AJ Allmendinger?

BZ

bzcam
10th May 2009, 00:50
Driver with the dumbest firesuit (hard to beat Marco’s Indiana Jones attire)
Nominees

1. Dan Wheldon (if having a sports drink bottle planted on your lips all during TV interviews counts)
2. Marco Andretti (proved he has no shame last year)


Looks like a new nominee has surfaced: Alex Lloyd.

3. Alex Lloyd (well ain't you pretty in pink...)

BZ

Mr Jinxx
10th May 2009, 02:02
That's a great list!

I think Alex Lloyd is snatching trophies here ... highest woman finisher, coolest car livery, weirdest firesuit in the history of the universe, obviously has no embarrassment quotient, in fact I'd say he was luvin it ... what's worse he qualifies it day one

And how many Pink Lloyd puns can we work in ... another Brickyard and the Wall?

NYHF
10th May 2009, 07:24
Highest woman finisher
Nominees

1. Danica Patrick (won’t win, will be someone else’s fault)
2. Sarah Fisher (won’t win, will be her fault and she’ll say so)
3. Milka Duno (won’t win race, but wins beauty contest before race)
4. Mike Conway (ok, but have you seen his picture at indycar.com?)

I think that Weldon should be in this group as well................ :D

Mark in Oshawa
11th May 2009, 04:34
Alex Lloyd qualifies easily for most of these....

As for PT, I agree, most likely to be airborne and take great pride in the liftoff and landing.

ozrevhead
11th May 2009, 06:00
Looks like a new nominee has surfaced: Alex Lloyd.

3. Alex Lloyd (well ain't you pretty in pink...)

BZ
lol

There is also a Aussie Singer who's name is Alex Lloyd so I LOL'd when I read his name

bzcam
19th May 2009, 13:21
So that’s the list. Nominations are still open and the nominating committee is still taking input on other categories. All we need is your feedback.


A new category has been added by our judges:

Most Likely to Steal Another Guy's Seat
Nominees:

1. Alex Tagliani
2. Alex Tagliani
3. Alex Tagliani

And the winner is.....