Your manifesto - however mad

[Hazell B]

Went to see a comedian last night who asked the audience to write down our ideas for new laws he could try and implement. Then, with a rather dodgy voting system (similar to the real one used in government) we ended up choosing a winner as a group from those he liked best.

Some of the ideas were - to make Jeremy Clarkson stop testing cars and make him test only vibrators, so he could get even further up his own bum; to offer pre-school children extreme sports to toughen them up; to have forced dance/surealist theatre/stand up before all sessions in government; free drugs for the over 50's ('cos they know how to handle them) and so on.

The winner was brilliant. It was to secretly organise the entire country to file bankrupt on the same monday morning. I think that might work :p :

My two both made to the final reading on stage, but aren't listed here. One was repeatedly mentioned to the end of the show, but only because the comedian thought it suited the faintly posh North Yorkshire venue :p :

Anyway, what would you have suggested he try and bring to the House as a new law? Anything's possible with Mark Thomas, see http://www.markthomasinfo.com

[Captain VXR]

Send all racists, murderers and rapists to a closed island with webcams fitted so the world can watch
Make the neighbours of all nimbys who filed noise complaints about motorsport drive anti-lagged cars with straight pipes and Bee*r rev limiters
Make me diplomatically immune

Make comedians tell some decent jokes instead of being achingly right-on?

Make people who are too old to be students stop acting like students?

[Rollo]

Because so much crime is perpetrated by young people, I would fasttrack the justice process and detain people as soon as they left the womb.

Out of mum, into the gaol cell.

It'd be brilliant.