Unlucky in Love

**Brown, Jon Brow** · 17th November 2010, 20:24

I'll give you a tip for dating! Don't ever ask a girl out for a meal like I did once and then forget to take your wallet.

**Mark in Oshawa** · 17th November 2010, 20:42

Well Swoop, since I did what you do for a living, I probably have a little more insight into how you live and how tough it is.

The thing is, if you are on the road, you really have to have a lot of trust in the woman you leave behind when you hit the road. I had that with my wife, but I was driving local for 6 years before I did 3 years on the road. I think if you can find a way off the road, it will give you a fairer shot of a decent relationship. That said, don't be in a hurry, go out and make some dough, and think about what you want, and how you think women will see you. Be brutally honest. Are you a happy person day to day? Are you messy? (my wife says that is the only issue she can have with me...lol), Do you like to stay busy and do lots of things when you are home? Think, am I a good fit for a woman? Most men if honest, know that they can be selfish at times in a relationship.

Then know who you are, and think about what kind of woman you want? Smart? Loyal of course....but most of us figure if she is "naked with a beer" we are halfway home. Dumb assumption actually...because we want a woman that isn't just happy to have a guy with a pulse. We want a woman who has a brain and understands the world, and understands (in our case in particular) OUR world. My wife understood why it took me a day after a week or so on the road to be myself. She knew I just needed to be in one place for 24 hours so she knew there was no point in pressuring me to do 15 things the minute I got in the door. She also knew that after that day, I would be myself...but down in a sense about having to go back out again. Dumb women don't pick up on these things..they only think you are a grumpy so and so and it is all about them.

It should be about them about as much as it is about you. Being a trucker's spouse sucks. It takes a special woman to get that, and dumb ones don't. Dumb ones get frustrated and go and get lucky with your buddy in a cabin....

You need to take the time to really understand who you are, what you can offer a woman, and to find the right woman it takes time. I suggest a really good dating service or maybe Eharmony to be honest. People laugh, but the truth of it is, they break down what people are just like they advertise. It may not get you who you expect either....and THAT is probably the biggest mistake. People often look for their "type" and then when it fails over and over again, never see that they are making their "type" their goal not realizing that their personality wont often mesh with that perceived idea. Women are really guilty I think of this. Many date guys who we all know are jerks or unsuitable, but he is their "type".....so they refuse to see reason. Guys are dumb this way too.

Just take your time Swoop, and be self confident AND aware of who you are and what you want, and take your time getting there. Getting it right in 9 months or a year beats rushing out and making another mistake.

**dunes** · 17th November 2010, 22:25

Originally Posted by Mark in Oshawa

Well Swoop, since I did what you do for a living, I probably have a little more insight into how you live and how tough it is.

The thing is, if you are on the road, you really have to have a lot of trust in the woman you leave behind when you hit the road. I had that with my wife, but I was driving local for 6 years before I did 3 years on the road. I think if you can find a way off the road, it will give you a fairer shot of a decent relationship. That said, don't be in a hurry, go out and make some dough, and think about what you want, and how you think women will see you. Be brutally honest. Are you a happy person day to day? Are you messy? (my wife says that is the only issue she can have with me...lol), Do you like to stay busy and do lots of things when you are home? Think, am I a good fit for a woman? Most men if honest, know that they can be selfish at times in a relationship.

Then know who you are, and think about what kind of woman you want? Smart? Loyal of course....but most of us figure if she is "naked with a beer" we are halfway home. Dumb assumption actually...because we want a woman that isn't just happy to have a guy with a pulse. We want a woman who has a brain and understands the world, and understands (in our case in particular) OUR world. My wife understood why it took me a day after a week or so on the road to be myself. She knew I just needed to be in one place for 24 hours so she knew there was no point in pressuring me to do 15 things the minute I got in the door. She also knew that after that day, I would be myself...but down in a sense about having to go back out again. Dumb women don't pick up on these things..they only think you are a grumpy so and so and it is all about them.

It should be about them about as much as it is about you. Being a trucker's spouse sucks. It takes a special woman to get that, and dumb ones don't. Dumb ones get frustrated and go and get lucky with your buddy in a cabin....

You need to take the time to really understand who you are, what you can offer a woman, and to find the right woman it takes time. I suggest a really good dating service or maybe Eharmony to be honest. People laugh, but the truth of it is, they break down what people are just like they advertise. It may not get you who you expect either....and THAT is probably the biggest mistake. People often look for their "type" and then when it fails over and over again, never see that they are making their "type" their goal not realizing that their personality wont often mesh with that perceived idea. Women are really guilty I think of this. Many date guys who we all know are jerks or unsuitable, but he is their "type".....so they refuse to see reason. Guys are dumb this way too.

Just take your time Swoop, and be self confident AND aware of who you are and what you want, and take your time getting there. Getting it right in 9 months or a year beats rushing out and making another mistake.

OK This ones pretty cool.
1st My ex was also a driver. we were together in the truck,bigest mistake.Seperate holidays,2nd biggest,Trusting a friend with yoiure wife just stupid.
The naked and a beer thing is my plan for awhile. Not looking for terminal relatiopns but a partner to come by and see when i'm around. no strings just sex........ and a beer.
I understand how it happened i just don't get with who it happened. Not rreally too bent about anymore.Im not superman but i don't spend alot of time criingf over something that had to change either. all the best to the both of them.LATER

I know what Iwant in a real partner but I also know I'm nbot going to find it untill i'm done outhere. so right now its all about the money and me.Don't judge me too harshly,im happy with it.
Being myuself and having confidence is a good thing and i'm all in. Besides i know im good enough for anyone to have me all i have to do is be readyh to be had.Its just npot that time yet.

Thanks for the time and thoughts, stopping and looking is always good advice when crossing the tracks or the threshhold.