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Thread: The halo enters F1 for '18
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4th August 2017, 10:15 #31
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I wonder what fancy carbon fibre step-ladder designs the factories will come up with to help the drivers get into the cars. Somehow it wouldn't be right for F1 if they stood on a milk crate.
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4th August 2017, 10:48 #32
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- Likes: N4D13 (4th August 2017)
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4th August 2017, 21:52 #33
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Apparently , they will be installing rearward facing cameras to the halos , making it possible to actually see the moment the red mist clouds the driver's eyes as he's brake tested or squeezed off track .
4K high def customers will be able to count nose hairs and see the track reflected in the beads of sweat on the driver's face , further enhancing the overwhelmingly positive experience for all concerned .
- Likes: Tazio (5th August 2017)
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5th August 2017, 01:01 #34
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5th August 2017, 12:23 #35
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Only just a few of the many resulting from the saintly halo , the device that solves all problems .
Those beads of sweat will be a great source of new revenue for the series , as each one will be counted and registered as a showing of all the ads around the track , including logos on the cars .
The FIA is hoping that a simple spritzer mechanism will suffice for drivers that don't sweat enough , but has issued a statement that it may have to resort to mandating a heater mounted rear facing on the safety device as well .
When a driver is isolated in the race , with no others around him , he can be lonely and distracted , so the FIA has deemed this the perfect teaching moment , and has arranged for a panoramic screen on the inside of the saintly halo to show movies on why the device is a good idea despite looking like a shoe .
There is to be a little slit in the saintly halo for tissues , so those who retire can wipe tears (note - only for tears , as sweat is potential income) .
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5th August 2017, 14:28 #36
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While they work on the glue for the post-it notes to make it able to withstand the 200 mph wind speeds , the saintly halo device will be mandated to have a cork surface inside , suitable for pinning notes to remind them of procedures on the way to the grid .
The FIA is also known to be working on the "Bond-style" ejection seat idea again , which was shelved until the bubble-wrap race suit was ready .
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5th August 2017, 14:32 #37
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Note - Tear tissues and reminder notes , whether of the "post-it" or "pinned" variety , may only be ejected within the pit lane .
Pins used in the cockpit must be fastened with twin tethers .
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5th August 2017, 16:42 #38
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The FIA are now said to be looking at what everybody has been thinking , a retractable sun shade being incorporated into the saintly , can this thing get any better , halo device .
This obvious innovation to the already super great design will be to counter the added exposure from the new see-through helmets they will introduce next year so that we can still see a little of the top of their heads to tell what driver is in the car from his hair colour .
Note - Drivers will be restricted to just two changes of hair colour during any one year period , starting with the first television viewing .
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5th August 2017, 16:53 #39
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Note - The FIA have issued the maximum size for fuzzy dice .
"...not to exceed 600mm x 600mm x 600mm ..." .
Also note -
"...containing FIA approved fire retardant foam ..."
"...covered in FIA approved fire retardant fur in one only colour ..." .
Note - FIA is considering change to regulations regarding fur colour , due to protests from teams that they need dots to be of a contrasting colour .
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5th August 2017, 18:48 #40
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Because of the extra strain of keeping up with the extra workload of the proposed 34 races , and the necessity of keeping up the feel that it is glamorous to race in F1 with a good facial tan , the FIA has mandated mandatory "Manning-tm"(tanning) lights to be mounted , rear facing , into the cockpit .
Drivers will all be fitted with UV safe sunglasses , with an FIA logo that is to remain visible at all times during the grand prix weekend .
It's OK, it's a short stage! Remember the FIA and promoter reserve the right to completely fuck over everything we all know, enjoy and understand about this series and sport. Or, maybe they might...
FIA Rally Working Group: the...