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  1. #31
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    I wonder what fancy carbon fibre step-ladder designs the factories will come up with to help the drivers get into the cars. Somehow it wouldn't be right for F1 if they stood on a milk crate.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by AndyL View Post
    I wonder what fancy carbon fibre step-ladder designs the factories will come up with to help the drivers get into the cars. Somehow it wouldn't be right for F1 if they stood on a milk crate.
    The kind that generates good downforce.

  3. Likes: N4D13 (4th August 2017)
  4. #33
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    Apparently , they will be installing rearward facing cameras to the halos , making it possible to actually see the moment the red mist clouds the driver's eyes as he's brake tested or squeezed off track .
    4K high def customers will be able to count nose hairs and see the track reflected in the beads of sweat on the driver's face , further enhancing the overwhelmingly positive experience for all concerned .

  5. Likes: Tazio (5th August 2017)
  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bagwan View Post
    Apparently , they will be installing rearward facing cameras to the halos , making it possible to actually see the moment the red mist clouds the driver's eyes as he's brake tested or squeezed off track .
    4K high def customers will be able to count nose hairs and see the track reflected in the beads of sweat on the driver's face , further enhancing the overwhelmingly positive experience for all concerned .
    And those are just the highlights of the experience.
    "Old roats am jake mit goats."
    -- Smokey Stover

  7. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starter View Post
    And those are just the highlights of the experience.
    Only just a few of the many resulting from the saintly halo , the device that solves all problems .

    Those beads of sweat will be a great source of new revenue for the series , as each one will be counted and registered as a showing of all the ads around the track , including logos on the cars .
    The FIA is hoping that a simple spritzer mechanism will suffice for drivers that don't sweat enough , but has issued a statement that it may have to resort to mandating a heater mounted rear facing on the safety device as well .

    When a driver is isolated in the race , with no others around him , he can be lonely and distracted , so the FIA has deemed this the perfect teaching moment , and has arranged for a panoramic screen on the inside of the saintly halo to show movies on why the device is a good idea despite looking like a shoe .

    There is to be a little slit in the saintly halo for tissues , so those who retire can wipe tears (note - only for tears , as sweat is potential income) .

  8. #36
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    While they work on the glue for the post-it notes to make it able to withstand the 200 mph wind speeds , the saintly halo device will be mandated to have a cork surface inside , suitable for pinning notes to remind them of procedures on the way to the grid .

    The FIA is also known to be working on the "Bond-style" ejection seat idea again , which was shelved until the bubble-wrap race suit was ready .

  9. #37
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    Note - Tear tissues and reminder notes , whether of the "post-it" or "pinned" variety , may only be ejected within the pit lane .
    Pins used in the cockpit must be fastened with twin tethers .

  10. #38
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    The FIA are now said to be looking at what everybody has been thinking , a retractable sun shade being incorporated into the saintly , can this thing get any better , halo device .
    This obvious innovation to the already super great design will be to counter the added exposure from the new see-through helmets they will introduce next year so that we can still see a little of the top of their heads to tell what driver is in the car from his hair colour .

    Note - Drivers will be restricted to just two changes of hair colour during any one year period , starting with the first television viewing .

  11. #39
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    Note - The FIA have issued the maximum size for fuzzy dice .
    "...not to exceed 600mm x 600mm x 600mm ..." .

    Also note -
    "...containing FIA approved fire retardant foam ..."
    "...covered in FIA approved fire retardant fur in one only colour ..." .

    Note - FIA is considering change to regulations regarding fur colour , due to protests from teams that they need dots to be of a contrasting colour .

  12. #40
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    Because of the extra strain of keeping up with the extra workload of the proposed 34 races , and the necessity of keeping up the feel that it is glamorous to race in F1 with a good facial tan , the FIA has mandated mandatory "Manning-tm"(tanning) lights to be mounted , rear facing , into the cockpit .
    Drivers will all be fitted with UV safe sunglasses , with an FIA logo that is to remain visible at all times during the grand prix weekend .

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