Talk about anything that's on your mind

[Storm]

Ok, I think it's time to get that driving license?

[Rollo]

Dear Scion,
What is your point? Seriously?

I currently own a Mazda 2. It's a cheeky fun little car and in North America, you beat it up with the ugly stick, took it away from Mazda and put it under this weird nothing badge.


iA - Mazda 2 sedan: but beat with the ugly stick.
xB - Toyota Rukus
iM - Toyota Corolla
tC - Toyota Avensis Coupe? Maybe?
FR-S - Toyota 86/Subaru BRZ

Basically your whole lineup need not exist at all. Why are you a thing?

[Storm]

I agree Scion sucks...also the fact that Scion keeps beating me to the best parking spot every night

[jens]

Hi guys and girl(s?), just wanted to drop by having been away a few months. A lot has been happening. But reading some previous pages, I think I'm guilty of feeling a bad situation is just the absolute pits and I forget other people are suffering and far worse...

Yes I have to agree, it's a very underrated skill I think. Sometimes it's no longer about pushing the envelope but simply holding firm to what you have, and remaining. That Rocky quote that it's not about the winning, it's about how much you can take and keep walking, I think about that a lot.

Jens I have (re)seen the PM you sent ages ago, it finally clicked I hadn't responded - now fixed.

I wish I was this kind...


I SO agree. I think this is more important than can be understood sometimes. I know I could do with rediscovering my inner child to be honest.


Airshifter I'm sorry to hear that. Having been out of work for almost 4 years I can understand how it is, but big thumbs up for the fitness, and for doing something. I was out cycling almost every day while not working, averaging 100 miles or more a week usually (can't believe I used to do that now lol!), so I ended up getting pretty fit.


So yeah struggling with poor health these days, I can end up feeling a bit more sorry for myself than I should... I actually collapsed at work Monday night, well not properly, I didn't actually faint, just kinda slumped to the floor. I was actually pretty touched by how kind my colleagues were to me, even though they needed me for the night shift, and they sent me home. I managed to drive back in the end but took an hour and a half to get out of the car. Last time something similar happened but much milder I was made fun of for being lazy and sleeping. As for this forum, I have decided to pretty much leave as having thought about it I'm not sure I want to follow F1 or anything anymore, instead needing to concentrate on my own development and life. I will be 32 next month, and am highly anxious that I don't seem to have achieved anything with my life, or look like anywhere near doing so soon. I no longer feel F1 contributes anything worthwhile to my life, so it is a case of priorities as time is short. Formula 1 does not for me hold the magic and beauty it did when I fell in love with the sport years ago.

I've also been disheartened by what I'd say is the quality of my posts having steadily degraded over time. Having found I also don't currently have the capacity to function properly in a meaningful relationship, I have studied much online and realised I have covert narcissistic personality disorder, which is a horrible truth to face. It ends up having a huge effect on others too.

In fact, I would even urge anyone unaware of this to look it up, to see how you can be so affected and mistreated by people with narcissistic personality disorder and it's subtypes. Here is an example of one of the many videos of youtube on the subject. They really should teach this in schools I think.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WVLZXLyO-M

Wow, rj...

I don't know and cant' comment, what your life has been like outside the Internet. But, mate...

I still feel that I have to disagree with some things.

I don't feel your post quality has degraded. I still look forward to them!

And I really think that... you are not a REAL narcissist. The way you write posts and discuss, and share your feelings and emphatize with others. Maybe you have habits of narcissism, but it is a different matter as to truly not having the ability to emphatize.

I mean in my life I met quite a lot of genuine narcissists. And with them it is absolutely utterly impossible to discuss anything, because they are so deeply stuck in "their own truth". They do not emphatize with other people - for them the world is full of evils and enemies. And they get angry about everything, or angry about any opinion that differs to theirs! I don't get such feelings from discussing with you. It is possible to discuss with you, and get smarter!

[jens]

Oh... and as many of us are already well into discussing the details of our lives and who we are, I can say about myself that I am...

how to say it...

...a hypersensitive person. Surroundings, all kinds of sounds, smells, and especially emphatic human athmosphere influence me heavily. I can have an allergic reaction to "bad air". Never understood, how people can smoke!

That's why I like to spend lots of time just walking in the forest. I feel that there truly is a lot of PEACE. Real peace and calmness. Not the stress, which is present in cities. Impossible for me to go along with all the rush and "busy lifestyle", like most people seem to deal with. With too many tasks I go crazy if not scizophrenic - and immediately felt the need to back off.

[jens]

And to carry on...

This sensitiveness has directed me to be really picky about life, because many things cause too much suffering, which I can't deal with - mentally/physically!

I have surrounded myself with reallly good friends. And together it is good to make just some fun, or be creative in some ways (do music, play theatre/role plays, create stories/fantasy worlds/whatever).

And in my free time as well - just relax alone or do some creative stuff with others. Yoga and meditation is very much for me as well. I never feel bored though - even if I do nothing and are alone. Because the athmospheres, wherever I am - influence me, and always give interesting feelings and thoughts.

I liked, as I said, nature, and animals. Because animals IMO are so sincere, and not as complicated as (many) people!

And of course I like motorsports. In the past I watched other sports a lot too. It is interesting to ponder, why though. In a way racing (or sports competition in general) is also sincere. To try to take perfect lines through tracks, and then you have emotions after your efforts and either succeeding or failing. And of course it is just fascinating to analyze all that. There are so many aspects in play. Motorsports in itself is a small world - and all those small factors put together make a big picture!

I was never much into "films" - for me they feel a bit "artificial". I have always been fascinated of the real world, and if I watch anything, they are documentaries.

[gadjo_dilo]

This sensitiveness has directed me to be really picky about life, because many things cause too much suffering, which I can't deal with - mentally/physically!

Unfortunately, it might come a day when life would hit you with a real tough problem. What will you do then?
Probably find out that you can carry much more than you ever thought......

[rjbetty]

Hi everyone, I'm sorry for not getting back sooner. I did type a long reply the other day but didn't manage to finish it so will just keep it short.

Thank you all for the encouragement. No I really do have strong NPD syptoms across the board. I don't like the definition of a label, as I don't think anyone's fixed in position, but it just explains where I'm at. It's not just data I've collected together, but my general feeling and conscience that convicts me. I do however have an enormous score of 104 out of 115 for a 23 point test online

The tricky thing is that it's "covert" narcissism, so it's under the radar. It's not big and loud, but more inverted. It's true that I seem quite gentle on the surface, but I feel angry about things underneath. The main hallmark is lack of empathy and I know it's true that I'm definitely stuck in my own mind.

The hope is though that this is a coping mechanism. I know I have had to harden my heart as a person, otherwise I would have been eaten alive, and it just waits to reach a safe place to soften again. And also though I hate to say it, I feel mentally and emotionally exhausted after a non-stop few years, and I think I can use that word sincerely. There's hope for getting better, but just more riding things out for the moment.


Thanks for the posts guys and girl, and well done for the good things you do. Keep going.

[jens]

Unfortunately, it might come a day when life would hit you with a real tough problem. What will you do then?
Probably find out that you can carry much more than you ever thought......

You are right that one day surely something truly bad can happen. Not can, but WILL. Especially as we people all get older, and more prone to setbacks, as in some ways life cycle will be in sort of a natural decline.

Depends, what we are talking about, but I probably could carry some more weight. But I wouldn't be happy!

[jens]

The tricky thing is that it's "covert" narcissism, so it's under the radar. It's not big and loud, but more inverted. It's true that I seem quite gentle on the surface, but I feel angry about things underneath. The main hallmark is lack of empathy and I know it's true that I'm definitely stuck in my own mind.

Hmm, interesting... Well, I haven't seen you in real life, so it is tough for me to give my perspective.

But I'd say one thing. If you think you have a problem, that's one big step forward. Because usually narcissists do not recognize they have a problem - the world around them is just full of "stupid people". That's it and they carry on with this 'knowledge' till their death basically.

So I believe you are already a step above that level. Another issue is which kind of methodology to use to overcome this, but this will be for you to analyze..)

As for anger. Fundamentally I think most - if not all - people are angry about some things in the world or life. This is sort of natural. Because life can be tough and many people can (rightfully) feel life has been flatout unfair to them in some matters. But the question is how to 'canalize' the energy of anger, how to understand it, which conclusions to draw, etc.

Fundamentally... anger is why we have wars in the world. People are angry and they just need, baaadly need to canalize this energy into something. Just a human reaction... But there are different ways of canalizing this anger as well - like music.