Your Funny Stories

[Rudy Tamasz]

What a colorful person your cousin is!

We once were in my wife's home town deep in provincial Russia. I took my son for a horse ride in the downtown park. So he's riding slowly and quietly and then the horse unloads her stuff on the pavement. Okay, no big deal, we move on and the next thing I notice the stuff is no longer there. I was like, wow, how fast they clean streets here! And I should mention that we Belarusians always take pride in how clean our cities are and poke fun at Russians for living in dirt. And I'm amazed that a provincial Russian town is being cleaned so fast. But then, I notice two elderly ladies packing that thing in a plastic bag, obviously to use it as a fertilizer for their flowers or vegetables...

Well, this thread took a specific twist...

[donKey jote]

By no means the crappiest of threads though

[gadjo_dilo]

[Rudy Tamasz]

Wait for the airport one.

I'm waiting.

[gadjo_dilo]

It takes time to type and I'm at work. Having to say it in English is also difficult cos I have a limited vocabulary. But it's really funny ( I think....)

[gadjo_dilo]

Well, I was about 12 yo and it was Easter. That year, for a reason I don’t get, the country was invaded by greeks who came to celebrate here. A lot of my relatives had come, some bringing their friends too and our home was full of them. It was a bit dangerous because in the communist period it was forbidden to host foreigners and they all had expensive cars – it was impossible to don’t notice them and I have a police station on the corner. So in my aprtment we had 8 persons ( + other 8 at my uncle’s at the next floor ). We had somehow to get rid of them from time to time. My dad had to go to work, my mum had to cook easter dinner for these army so I was in charge with showing them the city. Now Book a Rest is an ugly city and you can see the main tagets in a few hours so I thought it would be nice to show them the airport. On that time the security was rather rudimentary but still we had to be checked. So me + 2 ladies entered a cabin for women and the four guys +2 little boys went to the men’s cabin. After a few seconds I heared an officer from security shouting and all the alarms in the airport were on. When we got out we saw the officer scared with a pistol in his hand and my greek companions being held by other „blue eyed guys” and they couldn’t understand what was going on. The officer was shouting „a pistol, they have a pistol”. Then one of the greek ladies opened her bag and candidly showed off another gun. Now the officers turned mental and one of them went out and shoot in the air. Then they realized the pistols were the boys toys for Easter evening and they were loaded with fireworks. Everybody laughed but it was kinda embarassing to have all eyes on us and be considered terrorist. Mind you, on those times nobody was wearing guns here and I suspect that even militia men hadn’t amunition in their guns.

[Tazio]

I have one (actually I have many but I won't share the x rated ones) and probably to everyone's surprise it involves getting sh*tfaced drunk. A close friend of mine invited me and my gurl to go to a dance out in the country (east county S,D) at a park/ranch. I was already pretty well lubed, and when we got there to my delight the bar was serving Tequila, and tap beer all free with admission. I drank myself stupid, danced the evening away and blacked out. We were probably also smoking motta the whole thing is a bit of a fog to me, but I can't imagine that we weren't given the time, about 1976, and the company, my with best friend, my future wife, and his wife. At the time this guy had a 1952 Dodge sedan and this thing was a boat, I mean really caverness inside. On the way home I was passed out in the back seat of the car, and my friend had to apply the brakes suddenly, apparently I slid onto the floor of the car between the front and back seats, trapping my girlfriend underneath me. I was completely blotto, and apparently it took both my friend and his wife some time to free my girlfriend who was trapped underneath me. And to think that gurl still married me, but to his day she is still pissed off about that incident.

I have a good one involving peeing that I will share at some future time

[gadjo_dilo]

. And to think that gurl still married me

As if anybody could have resisted your charms.......

[steveaki13]

I could

[gadjo_dilo]

Now to continue the Greek episode and to relate to Taz's story:
My brother who's 8 years older than me always had a deep sleep. When he sleeps it's impossible to wake him up, if he wakes up he's like a noctambule. One day when I was a kid and he was already at uni, a relative from Greece asked us to host an old lady who had some business at their embassy here. The oldie was an OK person, and brought a few presents for me and my bro. When the night came she was offered my brother room who was supposed to sleep on a couch in my room. I woke up overnight and noticed that the door between my room and my bro's was open (my mum let a low light in his room) but didn't care and tried to sleep again. Then I heared a terrible snoring from his room and I wondered how a woman can snore so loud. After a few seconds I realized the snoring sounded familiar ( my bro terrorized me every night with that noise even if the door between our rooms was shut). So I got up and looked to the couch, my bro wasn't there then I went to another door of that room that has glassed windows and saw my bro sleeping alongside the Greek lady. I went to my parents to say that G is sleeping with the Greek and my poor mum had to ask him about 15 min to leave the bed. He probably woke up, entered that room to go to the toilet and when he came back he layed on his bed cos that's what he did every night. Next morning my mum apologized to the lady who didn't seem to be bothered and said I was thinking it's you and told him to stay comfortable.
I still tease my brother about "sleeping" with the Greek and he'll probably kill me knowing I posted this.

To be continued with another brother-oldies funny strange story....