Relationship advice

[The Black Knight]

Hi Guys,

I was going out with a girl for a couple of years until 7 weeks ago.

8 weeks later now and I'm feeling much better about it but I bumped into this girl I used to work with, mainly conversed via email, in my former place of work about two weeks ago. I said to her we should meet up for a drink some time. Before I knew it her and I were sending SMS and we met up last Saturday night and end up spending the night together. I was even over at her place for a few hours on Sunday night. I was surprised by how well we hit it off and we both admitted there was chemistry between us.

Now, here's the crux, I know in my heart that I'm still not 100% over my ex, but at the same time a gorgeous interesting girl whom I have a lot of time for has just landed into my lap. I have informed her that I am not 100% over my ex and been completely honest with her.

What would you do in this situation? I want to make sure I don't rebound and do anything stupid. It's very rare I look for advice from people on an internet forum, but I honestly feel only people with no relationship to either parties can provide an objective view point on this.

TBK.

[EuroTroll]

What would you do in this situation?

Keep doing what you're doing, i.e. being honest about your ex-situation and exploring this new relationship.

Oh, and don't rebound or do anything stupid.

[gadjo_dilo]

I can't give advice as I'm just not good at handling relationships.

[The Black Knight]

Keep doing what you're doing, i.e. being honest about your ex-situation and exploring this new relationship.

Oh, and don't rebound or do anything stupid.

I won't do anything stupid It's the rebound part I'm concerned about!

[EuroTroll]

I won't do anything stupid It's the rebound part I'm concerned about!

Well, rebounding would be stupid. Don't do it! Mind over matter, etc.

[The Black Knight]

Well, rebounding would be stupid. Don't do it! Mind over matter, etc.

Good point

I probably should mention that she is only out of a ten year relationship with 8 months. Enough time to get over 10 years? Probably not!

[Rudy Tamasz]

I won't provide an advice, but I will share some experience. I met with my ex six years after we had broken up. At the first meeting we started talking to each other again. At the second one we chatted like best friends, and I won't tell you what happened at the third meeting or should I say a date. Fine, but our fourth encounter came to the same arguing and mutual accusations that had sunk our relationship years ago. That was that and our relationship never recovered again. My conclusion was that if I broke up with somebody, that was for a reason. If I try to renew a romantic relationship, same problems are likely to surface yet again.

[EuroTroll]

My conclusion was that if I broke up with somebody, that was for a reason. If I try to renew a romantic relationship, same problems are likely to surface yet again.

My thoughts exactly!

[The Black Knight]

I won't provide an advice, but I will share some experience. I met with my ex six years after we had broken up. At the first meeting we started talking to each other again. At the second one we chatted like best friends, and I won't tell you what happened at the third meeting or should I say a date. Fine, but our fourth encounter came to the same arguing and mutual accusations that had sunk our relationship years ago. That was that and our relationship never recovered again. My conclusion was that if I broke up with somebody, that was for a reason. If I try to renew a romantic relationship, same problems are likely to surface yet again.

I agree with that. If it's over, it's over and I'm definitely not getting back with my ex. This isn't a renewal though. This girl is brand new.

[henners88]

Interesting situation and congratulations for finding a nice girl

*Agony Aunt bit*
My advice would be to take things slowly for now. Enjoy each others company but don't go jumping in two footed and decide to move in with each other just yet. How old are you mate if you don't mind me asking? She sounds like a lovely girl and you should be as honest as you can without making her feel she can't quite live up to your ex. These things take time and soon enough your life will revolve around her rather than thinking about the past. Time is a healer after all.

Make sure you both have your own space on nights throughout the week so its more exciting when you are together. You probably also don't need to be told this but wrap it up for now as you don't want extra pressure too early on lol. I say that because a dear friend of mine who is also 30 and should know better got a girl pregnant within the first 2 months of their relationship. Forced them to move in too soon and they've had quite a testing first year. Just be cool, honest and enjoy the honeymoon period.