Joke Time

[Roamy]

Markabilly has been in a really bad accident. He was driving down the road in his '77 Chevy pickup truck when the brakes failed and he ran into a tree. At the emergency room they found that both his legs were badly mangled and determined he had to have the right one amputated to save his life. The surgeon, having had a couple drinks before being called in, amputated his left leg. As soon as the error was realized, the doctors had to take the right one off too.

When Markabilly recovered, he tried to sue the hospital and the surgeons but the judge threw the case out of court. Said he didn't have a leg to stand on.

The other part of this story is: The Doctor came in right after the surgery and said "I have some good news - I have some bad news " Markabilly said give me the bad news first. So the Doctor told him of the amputations. Markabilly said what possible good new could there be. The Doctor said " The guy in the next bed over wants to buy your slippers"

[donKey jote]

Yesterday was Starter's turn to entertain Markabilly's sister for their threesome again. He got back late from work to find her naked on the kitchen stool screaming "a mouse, a mouse".
Big roll-eyes as he tells her there's nothing to worry about...

"You don't understand" she says, "it crawled up my leg and now it's inside me and I can't get it out!"

"Holy Lord" say Starter, starting to panic, "Hang on I'll call your hubby" as he reached for the phone...

Markabilly answers "you fool! you left her on her own again didn't you... don't worry it's not the first time she does something silly like that when she gets bored... I'll be there in twenty minutes. In the meantime, go to the fridge and get a piece of cheese... see if you can coax it out"

Twenty minutes later, Markabilly arrives to find Starter waving a mackerel around his missus' parts... "You fool, what are you doing? I said CHEESE!"

"I know, I know", Starter says, "I've got to get the bloody cat out first though !"

[555-04Q2]

Time to resurrect this thread

In Australia:

Bruce is walking down the farm road with two sheep, one under each arm. His neighbour Sheila sees Bruce walking with the sheep and says, "hey Bruce, you gonna sheer those sheep?" to which Bruce replies, "hell, no Sheila they all mine tonight!"

[555-04Q2]

How do Australians find their sheep in long grass? Very satisfying :