Joke Time

[Easy Drifter]

Let us see if this thread takes off.
Here is a start:

It is Donny's 19th birthday and he can now legally drink.
His father and grandfather had both walked across the Bay to the Yacht Club for their first legal drink.
Donny wanted to do the same.
He walked down to the water and started.
He was soon up to his knees in water.
Puzzled he came back out and decided to try by stepping off the dock.
That resulted in Donny being forced to swim back to shore.
Really confused now he went back to the house and asked his mother why he couldn't walk across the Bay like his father and grandfather had on their birthdays.
His mother looked at him and shook her head and then said:
"Donny, your father and grandfather were born in January. You were born in July."

This is a very Cdn. joke.

[Easy Drifter]

New day, new joke:

Doctors are threatening to go on strike.
Health Officials say they will be able to determine what the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist to read the picket signs.

[Daniel]

This is a very Cdn. joke.

Are all Canadian jokes as bad?

[Easy Drifter]

No!!!!
They are worse.
Just wait for Monday's groaner.

[markabilly]

a doc gets in car wreck....serious so it appear....next day he limps into office, staff says well were you hurt in the wreck...doc says, "don't know yet, I can not get my lawyer to call me back"

[Easy Drifter]

It is March 2 somewhere so:
This one is for Markabilly:

I am really sore this week. I have marks all over my body where women have hit me with 10 foot poles.

You live in North Simcoe County Ont. If:

Your idea of a traffic jam is waiting behind 6 cars in the coffee drive through.
You often switch from heat to a/c in your car on the same day.
You install security lights on your house and garage and then leave both unlocked.
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
Driving in the winter is better because the potholes are filled with snow.
You can drive at 65 mph through 2 feet of snow without flinching.
Someone offers you assistance in a store and they do not even work there.
Your dad's sun tan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead.
Your town has an equal number of bars and churches.
You think the major food groups are beer, walleye, and venison.
Going down south means Barrie.

Your Father's day picnic was moved indoors due to frost and snow.

[Rollo]

Financial Crisis Hits Japan

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on HBOS in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last 7 hours Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks; Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

[Easy Drifter]

This summer be careful of fans in your house.
Backing into one could be a dis-asster.

[Drew]

Statistically speaking, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

[Easy Drifter]

One beautiful Sunday morning everyone in the little village got up early and went to the local church.
Suddenly Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Terrified everyone evacuated the church except for one elderly gentleman who calmly sat in his pew not moving.
This confused Satan who walked up to the man and asked 'Do you know who I am?
The man replied 'Yep, sure do."
Satan asked 'Are you not afraid of me?'
'Nope, sure ain't." said the old man.
Satan was perturbed at this and he fumed 'Why are you not afraid of me?'
The man calmly replied 'Been married to your sister for over 48 years.'