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Please phone one of these numbers and take yourself to A&E immediately. I suspect that you are beginning to suffer from a stroke of some sort.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/jan/16/juventus-unveil-new-crest-serie-a
Juventus, the current Italian champions, have unveiled a new club crest – with club president Andrea Agnelli...

This is why we need to approach Liverpool City Council to install intercity chainsaw rockets on the Radio City Tower. Sure, it's a daft idea and will probably achieve nothing but it's no weirder than...

AFC Wimbledon 2 - Plymouth Argyle 0
Taylor 78'
Akinfenwa 101'


Adebayo Akinfenwa is so massive, he can bend injury time to 11 minutes.

Offsides and handballs don't count against English sides :D

Probably worth posting here:

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-36138337
Ninety-six football fans who died as a result of a crush in the 1989 Hillsborough disaster were unlawfully killed, the...

From their website:

http://www.lcfc.com/club/whos_who.aspx
Khun Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha
Chairman


From Forbes magazine:

http://www.forbes.com/profile/vichai-srivaddhanaprabha/

You were the Special One! It was said that you would destroy the Sith... oh, you did. Good job! :D

Leicester City 2 - Chelsea 1

Leicester's run at the top of the league continues... in other news. Leicester's win puts them 11 points clear of Liverpool; which now means that I can officially...

I'm not sure why you think that's the case:

http://qz.com/446439/minimum-wage-for-members-of-the-uss-womens-soccer-team-is-just-6800-a-year/

players in the National Women’s Soccer League can...

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-06-23/bronze-stunner-sends-england-into-women27s-world-cup-quarter-f/6565872
England has advanced to the quarter-finals of the Women's World Cup after a stunning goal...

I hope that whoever is in charge of buying and selling players at Liverpool looks upon Luis Suárez and realises that if you sell players who can score you goals, you don't score silverware but...

Would this be the same Italy who failed to escape the group stage in Brazil?

Belgium were knocked out in Brazil by the side that would go on to lose the final. They also made a clean sweep of...

Brisbane Roar 3 - Villareal 0

Ouch... that's embarrassing.

Chelsea 1 - Sydney FC 0


Loic Remy's bullet past Vedran Janjetović in the 20th minute was the only goal in the match and Chelsea found themselves late in the second half, with a team of kids...

That was a shell fired from a howitzer. Poor old Shay didn't stand a chance with that.

This was a match of apathy.

Henderson, Lucas, Allen, Gerrard, Coutinho, Lallana... er... one of those is a striker? Who?

Liverpool played a 4-6-0 which confused the hell out of everyone...

http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users7/so3d/default/liverpool-vs-juve-05-04--large-msg-1113830449-2.jpg

Ho un grande rispetto per la Vecchia Signora.

Villa 2 - Liverpool 1
Grump, grump, grump, grump.


I have been affected by the issues in tonight's football match; so I will ring the the crisis and complaint line on: 1800-10-10-10.
That's...

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, you've been a wonderful audience. I'll be here all week. Try the veal. And don't forget to tip your servers.

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised tonight you can call The Manchester United Crisis National 24 Hour Helpline on 1800 10 10 10.

That's:
1800 Won-Nothing, Won-Nothing,...

It's happened before...

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2009/may/15/spanish-anthem-boo-tve-sacked
Spain's state television network TVE has sacked its sports chief after the channel censored boos...

It is what it is.

Penalties are not a noble way to end a football match.

BOO.

I was pretty surprised to see Nathan Burns bag a double for the Willingten Phone Box against Sydney FC.

I'm beginning to think that something stinks at the front of Sydney's striking combo....

http://www.espnfc.com/australian-a-league/1308/table
Western Sydney Wanderers beat Al-Hilal 1-0 in the 2014 AFC Champions League Final and in the current A-League season have played 9, won 0 and...